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deleting addict from facebook, etc.

Old 08-14-2013, 01:39 PM
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deleting addict from facebook, etc.

Yea, Facebook, but everything else too. Reminders, "open doors," etc.

When do you get to that point?

What is the strategy?

How helpful?

Downside?
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Old 08-15-2013, 07:10 PM
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I deleted my xah AND blocked him from facebook, as well as his girlfriend. I did not want to see posts of him and the girlfriend he cheated on me with. Also, he was lying. Hanging out with questionable people and partying. So, why would I want to know anything about him while I was sitting there hurting. I also deleted any mutual friends. It hurt me too much to see what he was doing. From the outside it looks as though he is having a ball. I did this so I could heal. I need my own safe space.

I think it is just up to you. What do you need to do to feel healthy and safe. I wouldn't even consider their feelings.
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Old 08-15-2013, 07:43 PM
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I've blocked so many people on FB that I am beginning to think I would be better off deleting my account. It is just an endless stream of comparing my life to the "best of" parts of other people's lives. Who needs it?
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Old 08-15-2013, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
I've blocked so many people on FB that I am beginning to think I would be better off deleting my account. It is just an endless stream of comparing my life to the "best of" parts of other people's lives. Who needs it?
I did. 400 people. And now I have no idea what they're eating for dinner.
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Old 08-15-2013, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
I've blocked so many people on FB that I am beginning to think I would be better off deleting my account. It is just an endless stream of comparing my life to the "best of" parts of other people's lives. Who needs it?
I feel this way about social media too. It's almost as if it is a constant competition to prove your life is better than everyone else's. I don't like it.

I went on a social media fast and it was great. I rarely use it anymore. So my recommendation would either be get rid of it entirely, or block the ex and anyone who he is in contact with. As someone above said, from the outside looking it on social media, it appears as if the addict is having the time of their life. And that is hard to deal with when you are grieving.

Delete or block. Whichever works for you.

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Old 08-15-2013, 11:09 PM
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I deleted all my friends on FB, but belong to groups I am interested in: Animal rescues, photography, spiritual groups etc. I did that about two years ago and I am enjoying it much more than when I had "friends". My real friends I meet up with face to face or send emails.
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:41 AM
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I chose to never join facebook or any other social networking sites.

This is one of the reasons why.

Good luck un-doing it all.

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Old 08-16-2013, 02:02 PM
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I decided to simplify my life and I got rid of facebook a few months after our wedding. It was good to keep people up to date and share photos, but its sort of weird this need to keep people informed about your life, and it was like people at work ask for your facebook, people you barely know through church, or the gym, relatives you dont even like that much. In a way it felt too intrusive. I was going to say I dont miss it at all, but there are a couple of people I enjoyed checking up on more out of curiosity than anything else, dont even think that part was healthy.
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Old 08-16-2013, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Baloo View Post
Yea, Facebook, but everything else too. Reminders, "open doors," etc.

When do you get to that point?

What is the strategy?

How helpful?

Downside?
When my AXGF dumped me via text message and a picture of her and the new guy is when I got to "that" point. Deleted her contact info from my iPhone, deleted all my pictures with her (iPhone and computers), blocked her from calling me, blocked her from emailing me, and that was that. For me, there was no downside. I was done.

ZoSo
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:48 PM
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I have a FB page. Let's me see how the cousins, assorted (real world)
pals are up to.All anyone else can see is a pretty pic of
the sky.(no,I don't allow 'friends of friends' see anything.)

Hey, world! Here is my name,and a ton of pics that you
can easily catch street names/ easily triangulate from.
Now here are my likes so you can easily lower my natural
defences when you chat me up....."what a coincidence!!!!
I love Aerosmith,TOO!!!!"

Like I've told my kids. If you are in the fight of your life,
WHY would you give any potential adversary targeting
coordinates?At the risk of sounding like the curmudgeon
that I most certainly AM,I BEG all of the younger,hurt,or
vulnerable that are the lifeblood of websites like these to
read, reread, and damn near memorize the
sticky regarding internet predation.

Facebook is INFORMATION .Lots of it. Information that
would take a great deal of time,effort, and money to uncover
were it not given out FOR FREE.
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Old 08-16-2013, 06:08 PM
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I am also in the process of closing all contact with my ex addict boyfriend. And considering his erratic and aggresive behaviour sometimes, I am better doing that.

I don't think I can't stand anymore late messages telling me how he is going around all the women in his town (including pics), and the other messages a couple hours later telling me he was so high and drunk he can't remember and that his life sucks.

I think it can't be any downside to that and at the end it gives you a peace of mind that you need and want to bring happiness back.
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:48 PM
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Facebook postings announcing to the world how HAPPY
an addict is in that hellish dead end lifestyle,complete with
pics of other dying souls----I tried (hard) to imagine
something more pathetic than that.

I thought about it a long time.
But nope....... couldn't come up with anything!
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:20 PM
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Tell me about it. I have seen so many of those "happy" pics full of like you rightfully call dying souls and close-ups of drugs that I've had enough for a life time.

Actually if someone would send me a pic of dog crap, it would be the best I have received in months! Some things you just prefer to leave unseen.
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:24 PM
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The thing I really don't like about FB is that everything I put up is judged. It is either "liked" or implicitly disliked. I am getting the same feeling here with the "thanks" and implicit "no, thanks". I am tired of seeing my "no, thanks" posts sandwiched between many thanks posts. Maybe I don't know what I am talking about yet, but I am trying. "No, thanks for your effort. Bugger off and try again."
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:52 PM
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Sorry Jazzfish, I couldn't resist thanking only your post I wouldn't take the thanks too much to heart. It often has to do with friendships and how much people have contributed over a long period of time. I appreciate every single post here and learn something from everyone. Sometimes I am just too lazy to "like".
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Old 08-17-2013, 12:01 AM
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Same here, Jazzfish.

For a long period on SR, I 'thanked' virtually every SR post I read.
It wasn't so much a "thank you" as it was "thanks for taking the time to post".
The only ones I didn't thank were those I felt were attacks on others or otherwise
obvious "troll grenades" rolled under the tent.
Feeding trolls is like feeding pigeons----it just turns into crap that covers all
the park benches/etc. SR has good troll control in the form of active administrators
whose troll suppression skillsets are without equal.

(Thanks, Admin crew!)
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Old 08-17-2013, 11:42 AM
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Double Barrel - your post made me laugh. Yes, FB gets out of control. I do have an account but I have my privacy settings set so high no one can find and friend me unless I search them out. It's just family and close friends. I don't see any downside to blocking your addict. I even went as far as blocking his friends and family from seeing anything on my page or what I post because I know we have mutual friends. That way he can never even see if I post what I write on someone else's post or picture.
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