ltcb

What's it like to go through heroin withdrawal? Day by day. What can I do to support someone going through it? Do people tend to ignore their loved ones while going through this?

jerect

I have no idea because I've never withdrawn from heroin... I watched my ex try to withdraw from opiates and it made him feel like crap and sick to the stomach.. Or at least that's what he told me..

The best way to support someone like that is to step away, don't enable and let them do it on their own without your help... Get help for yourself by going to meetings and setting some boundaries

Ann

Withdrawal is a dangerous time for any addict and is best done under doctor's supervision or at a detox.

If he refuses to do that and if you plan to be there, you're in for a terrible time and so is he.

I cannot express enough the need for medical supervision. Anything less than that puts his life in danger.

Personally, I would refuse absolutely to be with anyone going through that.

Good luck to both of you.

Hugs

cleaninLI

if you go to the substance abuse side of this forum will will see many threads made by addicts who are withdrawaling from various types of drugs. All the threads where they mention Oxys, hydro, morphine or any other oppiate type of drug are discribing the wds every similar to heroin. Heroin is another oppiate only stronger. So wds will be even more severe than these prescription meds.

Everyone is different but basically he would be having cramping and tingling sensations in his legs, body aches, headache, diarrhea, hot and cold sensations, sweating, anxiety, insomnia and possibly vomiting.

What would help him are hot or cold baths, drinking lots of water, Benadryl to help him sleep, bananas for potassium, applesauce or toast to eat. It helps to distract him from his pain so light conversation, funny movies, and leg messages and just being there to hold his hand and comfort him as if he were going through the flu.

I hope that helps

What Ann says is true. It is best that he seek medical attention. Anything could happen such as seizures, high blood pressure problems, severe anxiety which could cause him to become angry delusional. It's best to play it safe.

ltcb

I'm not with him. Just talk to him every few days. He just doesn't really seem like he wants to talk to me. He's been using for almost 16 years. He is on day 6 and has been working on a friends house to keep himself busy and focused. We formerly had a relationship together, over 2 years ago, but have always remained close and good friends. Just wondering if its normal behavior for him to isolate himself from loved ones. I told him to let me know when he feels up to it and we would grab some lunch. He told me just a few more days. I just don't want to be pushy, but also don't want him to think I'm not here as I know he feels like he doesn't really have anyone.

cleaninLI

Itc, if he is on day 6 and working he is not going through the acute phase of wds as I mentioned above. It is extremely difficult to physically work while going through wd.

In answer to your question it is not normal to isolate from loved ones. Withdrawals are like having a bad flu and usually when people are sick they prefer to be around loved ones.

Perhaps there is another reason he is avoiding you? Is he trying to recover from an addiction? I guess with the info you have given, I can not answer that question.

ltcb

Yes, he is trying to beat his addiction. On Thursday he got ahold of me and apologized for how bad he has been lately and that he had a friend who was putting him on lockdown for a few days to help him kick. In the message he told me he loved me, that he was sorry I had to see him do things lately that I shouldn't have had to see but that it was a key factor in his decision to quit and asked me to just stand beside him like I always have. Now it's like he could care less if he talks to me or anything. Just a little confused.

cleaninLI

You never used drugs or drank together right? The reason I ask is that in early recovery, addicts are not suppose to be around people, places and things that could trigger them to use again. That maybe why his friend put him on lock down to keep him away from these triggers. If that isn't the case, it could be that since his friend put him on lock down he feels obligated to stay with his friend. It's really hard to know what he is really thinking. Addict or not everyone is different.

ltcb

No we didn't use together. I've never been into it. I just read somewhere once that addicts can withdraw from loved ones when getting clean because they start to gain some clarity and they become acutely aware of what they've put their loved ones through and the shame and guilt is just too much.

christin1225

Addiction doesn't necessarily end with withdrawing from a drug. There is a HUGE mental component. Someone who has been medicating life for 16 years is likely to be a bit confusing to others (and confused himself) when life hits him clean.

Even though my husband supported and held me through my withdrawal (oxy not heroin), the weeks that followed, when I wanted to crawl out of my skin because my head kept telling me that I wanted to use, I was short-tempered, emotional, and just struggling to face each day as it came. I couldn't address relationships and the complexity of emotions that relationships bring. I tried to keep busy and not think. I was fighting a battle that my own head wanted to undermine. I felt like a weakling and couldn't explain that to my husband, despite how much he wanted to help me. The lingering emotional withdrawal felt like torture. And, that's not even addressing the issue of PAWS.

I'm not saying that this definitely is what is happening with your boyfriend. I'm just saying that addiction is complex and withdrawing is just the very beginning for most.

Just keep loving him from whatever distance he needs until he is able to come around. In the meantime, do some nice things for yourself. You sound like a wonderful person!

LoveMeNow

If he is truly getting clean, my experience with my husband withdrawing from pills was that he was real sick (restless leg, insomnia, diarrhea, chills, sweats, bone pain and irritable). It's not just the physical, the mental is just hard. His brain was screaming for the drug. The thing that got me was the realization that the only thing that would help him was the same thing that got him there.

So no, I wouldn't say he was "up to any chit chat" and in many ways he just wanted to be left alone.

P.S. Withdrawing from suboxone was far worse for him. I would never want to witness that again.

Lily1918

hell on earth. It gets progressively worse for about 3-5 days. How nad it is depends on the dose. It is like childbirth. It cant be understood until it has been felt. It never goes away.

D and I joke hrough it by saying that the "vampire" series twilight got one thing right. when they burn for three days when they turn into vampires. Then you wake up in this bright, sober world with a thirst that cannot ever be quenched, only managed.

I remember helping D through withdrawl a few times, and he helped me this time. Ann is right it is dangerous for everyone involved and should be monitored by a doctor.

I remember screaming in rage when he stood in front of the door on the third day... Good thing he doesnt hit girls cuz I took a few good swings on him to get out and use.

This must be so hard for you. All you can do is watch from a safe distance, give the addict you care about room to breathe, and take care of yourself.
hugs. from someone who has been on boh sides
lily

blackandblue

What's it like to go through heroin withdrawal? Day by day. What can I do to support someone going through it? Do people tend to ignore their loved ones while going through this?

Oh my- heroin withdrawals. I have been through this one a handful of times in the last few years. Feel free to read my old posts. My AXBF has been battling drug addiction for over half of his adult life- 4 of which have been spent on a roller coaster of a relationship with me. I got on and got off the ride several times. I am off again, resisting my own cravings to be with him- thinking that it does not hurt me to just see him again once. I can relate to what his brain is going through craving heroin on a microscopic level. Fortunately, my cravings have come to a screeching halt and only occasionally come racing back with lucid memories of our last passionate encounter.

Then, it dawned on me. Precious years of my valuable life, I gave up on myself for the betterment of someone else. I focused on him and neglected me. Oh and he neglected me too- because I allowed him to treat me poorly. I excused all of his behavior. I blamed it on his childhood because that is the story he told. While that story is mostly true- I know people with worse stories who made different choices and have different lives. I did not make him do drugs so I cannot make him choose sobriety, recovery, and me.

Even though he is not using his DOC at the moment, he is not completely sober or in recovery or even close to being safe for me in any way. Even he knows this and still tries to keep me in his life because he knows his tactics have kept me around. Very keen survival technique for an addict. There is no way for you to stick around for the "show" and remain unscathed. This is reality. It's life and death, and it's his will and his judgement day. It's not your battle. It's not my battle.

But I had to go through it with him a few times to get this message loud and clear. God kept screaming at me and I had my hands over my ears like a two-year old. He basically said to me- "get out of my way, this is my job- not yours." That did not mean I could not love him, but I had to let him go. I cannot be with him and keep my soul. Just not possible for any human being I know or have met so far.

Now, I am a strong human being and can deal with a lot. From a medical perspective too. But this one is not safe. If he wants help, he can get help. Sure- give him love and encouragement from the sidelines. From a safe distance. Because what good are you to any relationship if you come out destroyed- and I did many times. It took me four years to realize I had to let go of the rope and stop beating myself up.

Do I miss him, love him, etc. My heart says yes and my head says no. What can I tell you? Pretty much the same thing as every one else on SR. Do your best to take care of you in the healthiest way possible. Live your life and don't forget to laugh and have fun sometimes. I still carry the heaviness and sadness from my past. Each time I went back to him caused more damage. You can make a different choice and whatever you decide, we all will love you.

Kkcr

My husband withdrew from our friends and family while abusing drugs. While in rehab our nightly phone calls were the most sincere communication we have had in months. Since he has been home and back to work he seems preoccupied and withdrawn but still better then before rehab. Communicates more and wants to be around us but is embarrassed by what he did to our family.

His detox was in an inpatient facility and he basically slept through it. I would hate to have had him go through detox on his own.