Shocked
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 38
Shocked
So my AH had a preliminary hearing this morning for 2 felony theft charges from stealing from his aunt and uncle. He has been in jail for a week and was told that today the case would be transferred from city to county court. That is what I have thought all week. That he would be staying in jail awaiting another court date. I looked on the court docket and it says his case was dismissed. I called the court to verify that it wasn't just dismissed on their end and moving to county and nope...it is 100% dismissed. I am very upset by this and I am so worried. I know everything is out of my control but he is so much chaos and the week has been so calm. He is still in jail and we had talked about him going to rehab if this happened but I didn't think it really would. I honestly don't think he will go to rehab. He has no where to live, he is homeless. Living with me is not an option as I live with my parents who he has stolen from and awaiting charges on that end. Sorry for rambling, but I am just flabbergasted. I will be strong. I will be ok. Is it normal to feel mad that my husband is getting out of jail??
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Of course it’s normal! You’ve had a week of calm, no stress or worry because you knew exactly where he was and that he was ok.
Now the codie anxiety begins again knowing that he may get out of jail and has no where to live.
You are consumed with HIM, obsessed over HIM and his well being. And the truth is, he’s where he is at because of his own choices – now it’s up to him to face the consequences like a man for those choices.
What have you been doing for YOU? Are YOU seeking counseling? Going to al-aonon? Working on you?
What does YOUR plan moving forward look like?
Now the codie anxiety begins again knowing that he may get out of jail and has no where to live.
You are consumed with HIM, obsessed over HIM and his well being. And the truth is, he’s where he is at because of his own choices – now it’s up to him to face the consequences like a man for those choices.
What have you been doing for YOU? Are YOU seeking counseling? Going to al-aonon? Working on you?
What does YOUR plan moving forward look like?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 38
Yes I see a therapist and am reading Codependent No More as well. I am going to stick with my plan. I will drop him at rehab, but that is it. When he has significant clean time then we will talk about our relationship. I was having a freak out moment but am feeling better now.
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