RJG

For those of you who ended a marriage to an addict. How long did it take for you to feel better? It has been a week since I moved out with my daughters to my mom's house. I just want to stop randomly breaking down and crying when I am alone.

chickaree777

It's been a month and 5 days since I moved out with my son and moved into my parents' house.

I'm not as sad anymore. I still feel the pull when my husband tells me he is sad and misses us, but I have managed to gain some detachment and am feeling stronger. I finally went to a therapist for myself two days ago and she really helped me realize that I did the right thing and that even if it was hard, it was right.

You'll get through it! You did the right thing.

jerect

My marriage ended almost 8 months ago and just last week my dr put me on sme antidepressents to help me cope with my emotions... I don't miss him and I don't regret divorcing him but I am dealing with a personal failure.. I was fine for a few months and then everything just kind of hit me at once... I think it takes a while to heal and you need to just allow whatever emotions come to the surface, surface... I also still attend alanon for extra support

story74

It has been just a few months past 2 years, and I am still hurting, but in a different way. I look back at where I was emotionally, and I was a wreck! I was trying to stay strong for my son during the day, but I would cry during his naps, at night when he went to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I lost 20 lbs in 8 weeks. The more he disappointed and hurt, I got stronger and stronger. Around 9 months I started to realize it was really over and I lost my family. I think I accepted it. Once I accepted it I felt better too. I am finally at the point where I just want to move on and not look back anymore. I just want to be happy. I don't want the anxiety or sadness. SO, I have my bad days and my good days, but more good then bad. It hurts. It will take time. Lots and lots of time.

allforcnm

I separated from my husband for about a year when he was actively using; I don't think I ever gave up the hope that we would get back together one day so maybe that made it different for me, but I went through stages of emotions during that whole year. Towards the end of the year, I actually was moving towards the idea of divorce, but then he went into recovery and everything began to change for us. It helped me while we were apart, to try to stay focused on the goals I had set for my life (work, caring for my son, home), and to just realize I would be ok alone, and I could be happy even without him in my life.

LoveMeNow

Denial, self-centeredness, manipulation, dishonesty, attention seeking, etc are not only attributes of an addict. Codependents have many of the same characteristics. Some even have the need to bloviate every chance they can.

Glad to see you are taking care of you and your children.

YearForMe

My marriage hasn't officially ended "yet"....so I don't think I should bloviate about anything here....

but when it does....I will......

(I always wanted to be able to use bloviate in a sentence...LOL)

LoveMeNow

It's a great word!