bdrake5

My ex boyfriend is an addict. While I was cleaning out the apartment to move to a new place I found 3 boxes of stolen credit cards, social security cards, ids, and pawn slips. I called the police to come pick them up. The apartment is in my name and if I were caught with those in my apartment I would get in trouble too. He's been very difficult getting his things out and yelling at me on the phone then tonight he left a message and was crying saying he needed help and that his friend punched him so hard that he might have broken his teeth. He called before and been sorry crying and saying he loved me. I feel bad now And I don't know what to do. I know I did the right thing turning those things over to the police but I feel bad. He has taken so much from me, but I can't help but want to cry when I heard his message.

YouWillBe

As I found out with dealing with my daughter this week our hearts are CONSTANTLY pin-balled back and forth.

Did we do right? Did we do wrong? It sounds right...but certainly feels wrong. Will they be okay? Will they forgive us? Why do they make us so mad and frustrated? Why do we feel sorry for them and overwhelmed with guilt and love the next second?

It's a never-ending cycle of what-if's and why-did-I's. They are so good at manipulating our feelings because we DO CARE and DO LOVE them. They know it's difficult for us and are banking on that for getting their own way.

I'm not sure there are any correct ways to go about this to make ourselves feel okay with it!

cynical one

As someone who has had their credit card stolen (twice)...thank you. And, yes you did do the right and honorable thing.

lilyB2013

It's inevitable for you to feel bad- because your heart calls out to him and no one here would blame you for having those feelings. But the truth is that you know that morally you're doing the right thing: had this been anyone else, you would have taken those same actions and turned in those cards and all those pawn slips, etc, without a second thought.

Without a doubt addicts pray on the special connection they have with us: their ability to easily manipulate us. They take that as far as they can to avoid the consequences of what they are actually doing... And I'm sorry that he left that message for you-- but be brave, without a doubt there will be more like that in the future as he tries to sink his nails into you during the separation. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself, we're all rooting for you.

KariSue

You absolutely did the right thing. We were a victim of identity theft. I know it feels bad but he did it and will have to pay the consequences.

It is just so sad that so many nice people who we love get mixed up with this madness. They are wonderful people underneath. This is so rough.

Hugs to you but you did the right thing.

Kari

KariSue

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Kari

DecBaby

You did the right thing. If you haven't noticed it's probably a pattern that he calls you when he's in trouble and claims he has a problem and needs help. It's part of the game.

AnvilheadII

did he need your HELP when he was stealing 3 BOXES of credit cards, IDs, SS cards etc??? did he need your HELP to get and use drugs? OR does he only need your HELP when the sh*t gets thick???

you absolutely did the right thing. continue that by getting him completely OUT Of your life!!!