Lotusangel

Well my 22 AS is done with with intensive outpatient program next week for his heroin use. It's been a long road. He started with marijuana in his teens then got into heroin when he was 18 years old. After a few months, he realized he was addicted and came to me telling me he thought he was addicted to heroin. I was blown away and our family all gathered together to find him a rehab out of state. After nearly 30 days he was kicked out for using marijuana. Shortly after was arrested and put in county jail for 11 months then release on probation. He was clean for a few months and then arrested again and sent to prison for over a year. Subsequently, clean for another 7 to 8 months. Then was shot in the foot, back on heroin, then staph that turned into sepsis with hospitalization (he checked himself out without finishing his IV antibiotic treatment after a week in the hospital because he was still using). I had to give him an ultimatum, finish medical treatment and get into some kind of rehab program to address his addiction or get evicted. I went ahead and filed an eviction notice and he was served. Subsequently, he chose the latter option and has been pretty successful with his program. He still gets frustrated and has a hard time dealing with resolving issues but slowly but surely is learning. Next week he gets his certificate for completing his IOP successfully. I will attend the ceremony. He will continue to go to his suboxone doctor, aftercare, and see his therapist.

I am trying my best to take each day one day at a time and not get overreact to his frustrations when he has bad days. I think now he understands that there are going to be bad days. What happens next? Any advice?

Ann

What happens next is another day, one day at a time, for you to find joy and beauty and peace. If it doesn't work out that way, try again, one day at a time.

What happens next for your son is up to him. I will keep him in my prayers that he can hang on to his sobriety.

Maybe finding some support for yourself would help you heal and regain your balance.

For today, good for him and good for you.

Hugs

pravchaw

I think Ann is absolutely right. My son is on a similar road at an earlier stage, currently in active addiction with no desire to quit. Negative consequences are rapidly accumulating. Wish you and your family all the best. Keep us updated on your journey as people like us who follow need your advise.

Lotusangel

Ann and pravchaw thank you for the support. I will keep you posted. I don't like to think too far ahead. He is still trying to manage stress or learning how to manage stress. And I am thankful that his aunt and uncle on his father's day are a great support for him as well. They help me out from time to time with advice and etc. I am grateful for that!!! He spent all day yesterday with them doing fun stuff and they even all went to an NA meeting with him. I feel like a got a break from all the chaos. Thanks for the prayers. I will do the same for you

Kindeyes

What happens next? It's not possible to know.....so we stay in today....as Ann mentioned...one day at a time. I try not to think about what may (or may not) happen in the days, weeks, or months ahead.

You and your dear son will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

Lotusangel

So my son was having a bad day. He still has trouble handling stress or solving problems. His phone is not working and he is expecting a call from a potential employer. His anger gets the best of him. Although he did not do anything irrational, it annoys me. I stopped his place this morning to drop of his fees for his meds and to give my daughter a document she needs (roommates) and he was not very nice. I walked away and said for him to have a better day and to really think about his attitude. He's supposed to see the doctor today and I go to his IOP class this evening. I hope he does because tomorrow is his ceremony for completion. I know I shouldn't worry but I do. Will he throw it all away on having a bad day??? That is the million dollar question.

Lotusangel

So my son was having a bad day. He still has trouble handling stress or solving problems. His phone is not working and he is expecting a call from a potential employer. His anger gets the best of him. Although he did not do anything irrational, it annoys me. I stopped his place this morning to drop of his fees for his meds and to give my daughter a document she needs (roommates) and he was not very nice. I walked away and said for him to have a better day and to really think about his attitude. He's supposed to see the doctor today and I go to his IOP class this evening. I hope he does because tomorrow is his ceremony for completion. I know I shouldn't worry but I do. Will he throw it all away on having a bad day??? That is the million dollar question.

Eve13

Lotusangel, that is such an accomplishment that he is finishing the IOP. And glad you're able to celebrate that accomplishment with him. He may be feeling stressed with this structured program ending (so maybe he was reacting to that as well as the phone problem?). Doesn't excuse the behavior, and it sounds like you responded well to him. Like Pravchaw, we aren't as far along on a road to recovery, so it is good to hear one day at a time success. Will be keeping you in thought and prayer

Lotusangel

Eve13 Shortly after I posted about my AS's recent behavior I did get a call from son. He was at the doctor's office and needed some information on co pay stuff for the insurance. He did make it to his suboxone doctor (he has two take two buses and then walk a little over a mile from his drop off - to and from) so I am very happy he went. Now lets see if he makes it to his evening IOP class. I don't want to call to check on him because I feel like he needs to be accountable...but can't deny I wish I was a fly on the wall. For now, I need to just keep moving forward. My husband made me dinner and it's steak and mashed potatoes

I will update you tomorrow. I'm hoping he will call me to let me know if I can still go, we had planned on it.

Eve13

(tapping foot) waiting....hoping all went well....

wiscsober

My advice is for you...seek out Naranon...if not find ways to live healthy and serene. My thoughts are for you....peace always.

lilyB2013

I'm so happy that even in your writing, there is sanity and peace. I think it really comes out in your words.

As the others have said, a lot of prayer and a lot of one day at a time. It helps to stay focused on how there has been progress, no matter how big or small, and that every day brings more serenity to your life.

Lotusangel

Hi everybody, thanks for being so patient with, Eve13, I didn't get to post yesterday because I was so busy all day and came home late. Well, here's a quick update with my son. So after all the uncertainty about whether he was going to show up for his IOP completion ceremony, he did go!!! I got a call from him at work and his counselor and he wanted to know if I was going to make it. I went during my lunch hour, and the ceremony was great. Everyone got a chance to say something about my AS as well as I did. He seemed very happy and accomplished. That morning he got to complete his Step 1. I saw so much growth and more maturity in him. He couldn't stop smiling. The counselor told us that it took a strong person to complete the program and saw him evolve as the weeks went by. My son actually said that he was proud that for once he accomplished something or completed something he started. The grouped seemed to look up to him. He even speaks with more confidence which was mentioned during the ceremony because at first he wasn't much of a talker and when he did he spoke in a very soft voice. Of course, I cried. I felt a relief. It's a small step but feels very big. The IOP counselor even got a cake. I took a picture of him with the certificate. Tomorrow he officially gets the certificate because it's his last session. And, yes, he was nervous or had fears about the future that is why he was so stressed. Everything is back to normal today. He ended up getting a new phone; he and his sister got a plan together. So for today, things are good and he is excited about going to after care and start making steps towards accomplishing some other goals he has set. He called me today and told me that he spoke to the IOP counselor about his fears (life after IOP), and she told him that it was normal that he was fearful and that was a good sign because it means he's thinking of what could happen if he falls. That fear will help him stay in check. He was relieved that that is what it means. I think he was reading too much into it. Sigh. Thank you so much to all you of you for your support. BTW our whole family was so excited about his progress. They were all texting congratulating him

Lotusangel

Sorry for all the typos. I just got home from work and I think my brain is going faster than I can type. LOL

cynical one

IMO, this is why it's so important that we stay out of their recoveries. He did this, all on his own, he completed what he set out to do, and now he OWNS 100% of his great accomplishment. Good on him! He should be very proud of himself.