mely86

So I saw my a ex boyfriend and he looks happy with the new girl....still I cannot understand. I am too jelaous, cos now I believe I was the problem. It s not that I did not forget him, but yesterday when I saw them, I saw his eyes were the ones from a person in love. So an addict can love. We just did not match. I will never recover fully. Why did I let him mistreat me? Is it because I got issues myself?

mely86

I got hard times in believing that it was my fault if I let him treat me like a doormat. To me it s all his fault!!!!!!!! To me he has to pay for what he did. It is like I m waiting for him to pay. [I] feel very mean!!

stucna

He just putting his Prince Charming face on.

Carlotta

Good for him now it's time to work on your own happiness. You deserve it

AnvilheadII

well, maybe he IS happy now...if you truly cared about him as a free standing individual human that was in your life for a time, wouldn't you WANT that? people come and go thru our lives....all have lessons to teach....even if its learning what we do NOt want in our lives.

you know, I hope, that you do not want an addict in active addiction IN your life. you do not want abuse, of any kind. you do not want someone who does not appreciate you with honor and respect. HE was those things...he didn't GET you for you.....and thus, he departed from your life's path and onward to wherever HIS will lead him.

your feet are on YOUR path. wherever you are right now, is where you are....and where you go from here is up to YOU. you wanna have the best, richest, coolest life? you will feel safe, secure and serene? healthy, happy and whole? then you look at those feet and then you look at your options, and YOU pick what you next step is to be.

zoso77

Let's take this one at a time.

Bzzzzz!!!! Addicts are capable, from time to time, of loving moments and gestures. What they cannot do with any sort of consistency is be a responsible partner in the context of a romantic relationship.

Because you had expectations of him being a consistent, responsible partner. What do you think will happen when the new girl needs him to be one of those?

Bullsh*t.

Because in your wisdom at the time, you tried to be there for him. Anyone on this board can empathize with what you're feeling regarding this. Doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, or a parent, or a sibling, or a child that's treated us poorly.

I don't like the term "issues". When we get romantically involved with an addict, there's no manual on how to behave or what to do. So we did the best we could at that moment. And along the way, we make mistakes in judgement. It happens. So, the question really becomes how do you move forward.

Here's something that may help.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...up-addict.html

I'm a firm believer of if you say something's going to happen, or not happen, then it will or it won't. So when you say you'll never recover, that's a choice. Because you can recover. The key is deciding that you will recover. If there's one thing I hope you take away from my response to your post, it's this:

Never, ever give a sick person any power over you under any circumstances.

So, start reading stickies. Start reading posts. Keep an open mind. Learn as much as you can. And then decide that not only will you recover fully, you'll be stronger than you were before.

It's really that simple.

ZoSo