grateful6982

Hi all. I haven't posted on here for a long time and really hadn't planned on posting ever again. I have been on here nearly daily to take what I need and leave the rest. I am coming here now because I just really need some guidance and no one in my life is able or willing to even discuss this with me. My husband has been an opiate addict for about 2 years now and a week and a half ago he was kicked out of my parents house (where we live) for stealing checks from my mother. He checked into our local hospital psychiatric ward, as he was seriously thinking of killing himself. That gave him the time to detox and gave me a much needed break from the chaos. Now, he is on the street but really wanting to get into an inpatient rehab. He had been in the local Salvation Army Rehab months ago but was kicked out for getting into a fight and now they will not take him back. His family and mine are all done with him and will not even speak with him. My question is this...I can see that he is wanting to get into treatment again but we have no insurance and no money. What can he do? I know he made this bed and he has to lie in it, but he is the father of my children and it is so painful to see him become a bum with no chance of ever getting help. How do addicts get help when everyone turns their back because it is too much to deal with? I am in counseling and going to meetings, so I am taking care of me. How can he start taking care of himself? He literally has zero dollars, no car, no license, no place to live, nothing. I am just at a loss here. I don't want to lose him to the streets when he wants and is ready to get help. I appreciate any thoughts and please be gentle, as I am being held together by threads at this point. Thank you.

cynical one

He could try another Salvation Army in a different city/state. The Association of Gospal Rescue Missons offers a long-term inpatient residential program that is very good. And, I believe Catholic Charities still offers free rehab.

LoveMeNow

There are many free rehabs throughout the country. Many are faith based. I know a man who went to Dunklin in Florida for his crack addiction. It was a 10 month program and he has now been clean for over 15 years.

He had lost everything, family, job, home, etc. Two days before he went, he was sitting in a bar mocking God and Christians. Today, he is an amazing Christian man.

lizwig

Is he attending NA or AA in the meantime? If he truly is ready for change he could find meetings locally that wouldn't cost anything....just a thought. As the others have said, there are free programs, they may not be located exactly where he wants but if he's ready for serious change that shouldn't matter and may get him away from the people, places and things that could be triggering him.

atalose

If HE is really serious about wanting recovery and to get off the streets then he’ll find a way for that to happen, other wise it’s you doing it for him and he’ll never stay clean.

There are meetings all over the place, AA and NA. There are community programs as well as county programs that will help the homeless and put him in touch with rehab help. There are churches that offer help. BUT HE has to do this for himself.

Just remember the more you do for him the less he’ll stay clean….is that what you want for yourself and your children?

What kind of help are you seeking for yourself? Counseling? Al-anon, Nar-anon?

It is just as important to your children that YOU get some help as it is for HIM to.

allforcnm

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has an on-line resource for locating drug and alcohol abuse treatment programs. They also have a 24 hour hotline available:

Find Substance Abuse and Mental Health Treatment
SAMHSA's National Helpline FAQs

I also recommend checking with your local hospital or doctor clinic, and please be aware that many times treatment is offered on a sliding scale for payment.

Kindeyes

I would also recommend that he try another Salvation Army ARC in another city (or state). It's a very tough program with a very high drop out/kick out rate--they don't put up with any nonsense. Are you sure they won't take him back or he simply doesn't want to go because it's just too hard and humbling?

It is really hard to watch them struggle with being homeless. I watched my son struggle like that for 4-5 years. Hurt this mother's heart to the core.......but he eventually made the decision himself that he didn't want to live like that anymore. Sometimes, they just have to do what they have to do until they don't want to do it anymore. They'll do whatever they need to do when they are darn good and ready.....and not a moment sooner.

What are you doing for you at this point? Are you seeing a therapist or going to meetings? This is tough stuff to handle.....it was impossible for me to without help.

You and your dear husband will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

grateful6982

Thanks everyone for the input. He is trying other Salvation Army locations and hopefully that will work out. I am currently seeing a therapist and going to meetings and reading a lot. I am struggling very much with how to detach. It is heartbreaking to me that he is homeless, hungry, and wanting help. I know he has to do this on his own, but that does not make it easier for his wife and children. I'm struggling with the fact that a lot of our family feel he is beyond saving and so they literally do not even want to talk about him in any way. I feel very alone. I know I am not, but I just don't feel like I am getting any support from the people who should be there. It is upsetting that strangers could and would support me more than my family. Thank you all again, I appreciate every word.