LoveMeNow

For those of you who have experience with loved ones in jail.....

Is it true that other inmates help write letters to be more manipulative?

Impurrfect

I was locked up for almost 6 months and never had that experience, but that's just me. My last XABF was quite manipulative all on his own, and I probably was (at the time), too.

To me, manipulation is manipulation and I don't like it and do my best to not let it get to me.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Ilovemysonjj

Whenever I got a letter from JJ, I could tell it was his words and sometimes there was stuff in there I knew wasn't from him. Anyway, any thing coming out of his mouth could never be trusted if there was an underlying feeling of FOG.

crazybabie

My experience with Brian has been I know what comes from him and when someone has "suggested" a way to word something has happened so many times.

AnvilheadII

hank's brother has been in prison for 3 or so years now. we would get letters...gosh so full of getting what he did wrong and what he was gonna do when he got out and how he was going to pay us back from the money we spotted to bring him out here to try and get a new start.

i'm sure he means that, meant that. he is in a cloistered environment...which does not at all resemble real life....from what we can see, he continually failed miserable at real life.

we certainly will NOT be offering another trip out to try and get a new start when he gets out. that's on him. not that we don't care....but he has never shown that HELP really helps him get anywhere. he may be one of those who does better in a controlled setting. his ex wife was as serious control freak (which makes sense considering) and he still managed to wiggle off the hook and completely bomb out in life.

cynical one

There's actually a booklet called Letters to Home or something like that. It is filled with sample letters from inmates of what to write home to get what you want.

lizwig

Are you kidding me!? Shut the front door...and lock it! In all seriousness I believe my son's letters were all written by him. Not to say he didn't run them past someone but he can be quite thoughtful and insightful when he wants to be. He's a good story teller and his letters typically have a flow to them. I would guess that someone with difficulty expressing themselves may seek input from others. I would bet it runs the gamut. Some would have way too much machismo to be telling someone they were scared and missed their family. Wow. Still shaking my head!

cynical one

Seriously.

LoveMeNow

My 17 year old son hit the big time (shake my head) and is being charged as an adult for a crime spree with his 18 year old "buddy." Sadly, I really do not even believe theses were drug related crimes. So now the letters are pouring in. Bless his little felon heart, he has "found" God, and just wants "one more chance."

Gotta love the "Please Mom, can you bail me out?" Uhm son, I won't even take your calls yet so what would make you think I would ever bail you out?

Anyway, I can tell some of his letters are his words but not all of them. I assumed somebody may be helping him out a little. Funniest part, I have never seen his writing so neat without any spelling errors before. It's a shame he didn't try this hard in school.

Lastly, I know he has reconnected with his bio mother, I hope she doesn't bail him out....although I doubt she has the means. He needs to just sit where he is right now.

Ilovemysonjj

Hi LMN, I am sorry to hear that your son is in jail. It was very terrifying for me the first time that JJ was arrested, and he was actually 21 at that time. It sounds like you are grounded and strong. I have to say that he will use the FOG technique to try to get something from you. It is extremely difficult to resist trying to help, but just know, he will be okay. Hugs from one Mom to another
TT

interrupted

I had never even thought of this before. The first thought I had when I received a large post card from my sister in jail was exactly this: "Wow, her writing and grammar has *really* improved!" I even said that out loud to my fiance. Now I'm not so sure. Hmm.

LoveMeNow

Thank you so much (((TT))).

Sadly, this isn't his first time in jail but the other times were in juvie which he considered to be a joke. Currently he is in county, in a youth offender section, and isn't laughing now.

He got lucky and has a very good private attorney (pro bono) because his codefendant got a public defender first and it was seen as conflict for him to have one as well.

A judge actually told him once "I have never seen a kid receive so many services and still be on the path your on. If it wasn't so tragic, I would write a sitcom." He rolled his eyes.

I know he has been "damaged" by his bio mom in his early years however I can not continue to make excuses for him. If this doesn't "wake him up" - I am not sure if anything will. I can only pray his words about rebuilding his relationship with God are sincere, if not, I am prepared for more of the same.

Ilovemysonjj

HP has this one Hugs back **{LMN}}