New relationship with an old, newly sober lover
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by NightingaleSynd 
Do you think nsa sex is a healthy activity?
In my opinion (a man's, so please bear that in mind) there is no such thing as no-strings-attached sex. There is either the "strings" of committment, or the "strings" of manipulation, but there are always something attached to sex.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Volleyball is a healthy activity. Sex is...more complicated. It involves the head and the heart.
In my opinion (a man's, so please bear that in mind) there is no such thing as no-strings-attached sex. There is either the "strings" of committment, or the "strings" of manipulation, but there are always something attached to sex.
This!!!!
For a codependent NSA sex is NOT a healthy activity... Your already emotionally attached and the longer you involve yourself in NSA sex with this man the more your heart is going to hurt... There is no such thing as no strings... In a way you are both manipulating each other... One person is in the relationship ( if you want to call it that) for strictly sex, the other person is having sex in hopes that they can bring this person to love them the way they want to be loved.. Manipulation on both sides...
(((Hugs))) to you... Relationships are hard in the best of circumstances, add an addict in the mix and you get a whole different level of hard
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
NSA sex rarely if ever has NO STRINGS attached. if it truly is just about getting together for sex and nothing else, on an ongoing basis, then there is something a little warped or weird about that, IMHO. cuz one can achieve the same affect and never have to leave the house OR involve another person.
however it's all rather moot, since you ARE involved emotionally. and now you have a desire to HELP (ie take ownership of) HIS recovery and his decisions. and in spite of him telling you he does not want to HAVE a relationship, you continue to go thru mental gymnastics defending why it's a good idea and justifying why he needs you in his life.
why can't you take what he said at face value and accept it, AS IS?
however it's all rather moot, since you ARE involved emotionally. and now you have a desire to HELP (ie take ownership of) HIS recovery and his decisions. and in spite of him telling you he does not want to HAVE a relationship, you continue to go thru mental gymnastics defending why it's a good idea and justifying why he needs you in his life.
why can't you take what he said at face value and accept it, AS IS?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
