Redwoodgirl

OK, so I am working the steps, but can't help feel like my biggest problem is trauma. I have flashbacks, nightmares, etc., but only feel like my controlling behavior was related to protecting our child. The substance abuse counselor told him the same thing in January, that I was trying to be a good mother and protect our child. He was so resentful, so mean. Since he has been gone I have learned that he was also unfaithful, and I had had no clue about that. So I feel that much more traumatized...am I missing something here?

Chino

Are you able to consider 12 steps plus trauma?

cynical one

I agree with Chino, it doesn't have to be an either/or when both could help you. I incorporated many different things into my recovery and took something away from all of it.

Carrots

Can someone describe what trauma recovery is?

allforcnm

The issues I had were not primarily related to codependency either. They were much more trauma based I feel. There was no physical abuse in our relationship, but when addiction happened it was like a bomb dropped on our otherwise normal life. We separated; he had an affair during that time with a woman who also used drugs. There was more but again it was mostly traumatic in nature. When he went into rehab, I started working with a therapist who could handle the whole package so to speak. She was great help to me, and so if you have this option then I would suggest trying therapy. I cant speak to working the 12 steps because I never did them.