We Are Loveable
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
We Are Loveable
Sunday, July 14, 2013
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.
—Codependent No More
Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don't believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.
While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that's not our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us.
Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.
Today, God, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.
—Codependent No More
Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don't believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.
While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that's not our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us.
Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.
Today, God, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
Not long ago I told my younger sister how when I was 11 years old our mom had told
me she would get rid of me. Give me to social services. Sign her parental rights over.
It was totally devastating for me to hear my mother say that.
Until recently I had never told anyone.
I thought about suicide a lot after that.
I was totally shocked when my sister told me that my parents did the exact same thing to her. For no apparent reason. They just told her she was bad and they would get rid of her. When she said that I really got it. It wasn't about us. It was about our parents and whatever stress and inabilities they had. We were loveable and we are loveable.
me she would get rid of me. Give me to social services. Sign her parental rights over.
It was totally devastating for me to hear my mother say that.
Until recently I had never told anyone.
I thought about suicide a lot after that.
I was totally shocked when my sister told me that my parents did the exact same thing to her. For no apparent reason. They just told her she was bad and they would get rid of her. When she said that I really got it. It wasn't about us. It was about our parents and whatever stress and inabilities they had. We were loveable and we are loveable.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Originally Posted by February13 
Not long ago I told my younger sister how when I was 11 years old our mom had told
me she would get rid of me. Give me to social services. Sign her parental rights over.
It was totally devastating for me to hear my mother say that.
Until recently I had never told anyone.
I thought about suicide a lot after that.
I was totally shocked when my sister told me that my parents did the exact same thing to her. For no apparent reason. They just told her she was bad and they would get rid of her. When she said that I really got it. It wasn't about us. It was about our parents and whatever stress and inabilities they had. We were loveable and we are loveable.
me she would get rid of me. Give me to social services. Sign her parental rights over.
It was totally devastating for me to hear my mother say that.
Until recently I had never told anyone.
I thought about suicide a lot after that.
I was totally shocked when my sister told me that my parents did the exact same thing to her. For no apparent reason. They just told her she was bad and they would get rid of her. When she said that I really got it. It wasn't about us. It was about our parents and whatever stress and inabilities they had. We were loveable and we are loveable.
You are totally loveable. 
Im glad you know it. xo
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