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-   -   He couldn't even call about his sick daughter!!! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/300664-he-couldnt-even-call-about-his-sick-daughter.html)

jzeb2008 07-11-2013 10:29 PM

He couldn't even call about his sick daughter!!!
 
Probably the sickest thing I've heard. I notified my husband last night that his daughter was sick. He didn't even ask with what, just made it into MY FAULT! His mother called begging me all night and all morning for information on how she was doing. I last told her that she had MRSA and needed surgery. I'M SURE SHE TOLD HIM!!! She asked for me trouble keep her informed. HE NEVER CALLED!!! She called and left a message around midnight saying she was busy all day and for me to call her after court in the morning. I CANCELED COURT TO BE WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO JUST HAD MAJOR SURGERY FOR A SERIOUS CONDITION!!!! How can he REALLY be so heartless??! :dee

crazybabie 07-11-2013 10:55 PM

There is no making sense with addiction sadly when one is lost in the addiction that is what their focus is on I am sorry about your daughter and hope she is dong better trying to figure out why he has not called can drive you crazy if you let it you need your energy for you and your child no matter how much you try it is NOT gonna make sense because your there being a parent and doing what a parent should be doing and well he is sadly doing simply what an addict does.

sleepy22 07-12-2013 01:41 PM

So sorry you have to go through this. Please get a plastic surgeon so they take of her beautiful face!

As for the addict, they don't understand. There's no point in trying to reason with them. It's really frustrating doing so, so I wouldn't even try to make him do things, e.g. check in on his daughter, unless he takes initiative to do it himself. He's just not going to think the way non addicts do. Any normal father would be at the hospital with the little one, holding their hand, making sure they felt secure while having to deal with something as serious as MRSA (I've had it - it's not a joke, but it's totally fixable).

Have you ever thought about going to therapy or al anon? It really helps so you don't "waste" anymore energy on him than you need to. Taking away precious resources (your positivity and energy) that you could spend on your beautiful little girl isn't good, especially if it's wasted on someone who doesn't care.

Anger is a normal response though. Hope it turns out okay for the little one!

Ann 07-12-2013 01:54 PM

I'm sorry Jzeb and will keep your daughter in my prayers. :hug:

zoso77 07-12-2013 03:11 PM


How can he REALLY be so heartless??!
Because he's sick.

We often make the mistake of believe the addict will respond in a responsible manner when a serious situation comes up. And it's a mistake because the addict simply isn't capable of behaving responsibly, so long as they continue on that self-destructive path.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your daughter.

ZoSo


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