happy 4th
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 81
happy 4th
Every 4th of July I visit my Grandparents who live on Long Island.
They live in a beautiful, quaint house that my great grandfather built in the 1930's. My Grandparents inherited it when he passed, due to his alcoholism, and they've lived there ever since. Everyone get's there around 10 then we have brunch. During brunch the kids all get little summer gifts from the adults. Bubbles, balls, shovels and buckets. Stuff that'll keep them entertained through out the day. After brunch we set up kiddie pools for the young ones, then bbq all afternoon. My Grandfather does most of the cooking. Everyone gets a Lobster, there's chicken, clams and oysters. We all eat and hang out until it get's dark then mooch off the neighborhood fireworks. Somewhere in the middle of all this my Grandmother, every year, creates some goofy activity that the whole family is mandated to participate in. She's a retired music teacher so it usually amounts to a sing a long or something like that. Everyone participates happily.
Tomorrow will be my 29th year that I celebrate the holiday there. Every year our family grows. This tradition started some time in the 80's. My 2 brothers and me were the only kids with at most 7 adults. Tomorrow they're expecting 20 adults and just as many children.
Last year my youngest daughter was the new one. She was 3 days shy of a month old. During the brunch she slept on my lap while every one chatted. I remember sitting there, enjoying my family, just having an overall good time when my heart dropped. My Grandmother was taking drink orders. My own Mother wanted a Pepsi and my cousin Whitney asked for water. My daughter's mother asked for a glass of Merlot and she got it. I cringed watching her drink that glass of wine. It was the first time in my life I ever felt uncomfortable in that house.
She spent the rest of that day buzzing, was belligerent on the ride home and passed out drunk once we got there. 2 weeks made it a bottle a day, and 1 month more she was leaving our home for days to smoke crack with them.
All it took was that one glass of Merlot.
She's sober today. We went through 1 month of rehab, 4 months apart, then 5 more failing to reconcile.
An entire year of turmoil.
Tomorrow it will be just me and my daughters.
They live in a beautiful, quaint house that my great grandfather built in the 1930's. My Grandparents inherited it when he passed, due to his alcoholism, and they've lived there ever since. Everyone get's there around 10 then we have brunch. During brunch the kids all get little summer gifts from the adults. Bubbles, balls, shovels and buckets. Stuff that'll keep them entertained through out the day. After brunch we set up kiddie pools for the young ones, then bbq all afternoon. My Grandfather does most of the cooking. Everyone gets a Lobster, there's chicken, clams and oysters. We all eat and hang out until it get's dark then mooch off the neighborhood fireworks. Somewhere in the middle of all this my Grandmother, every year, creates some goofy activity that the whole family is mandated to participate in. She's a retired music teacher so it usually amounts to a sing a long or something like that. Everyone participates happily.
Tomorrow will be my 29th year that I celebrate the holiday there. Every year our family grows. This tradition started some time in the 80's. My 2 brothers and me were the only kids with at most 7 adults. Tomorrow they're expecting 20 adults and just as many children.
Last year my youngest daughter was the new one. She was 3 days shy of a month old. During the brunch she slept on my lap while every one chatted. I remember sitting there, enjoying my family, just having an overall good time when my heart dropped. My Grandmother was taking drink orders. My own Mother wanted a Pepsi and my cousin Whitney asked for water. My daughter's mother asked for a glass of Merlot and she got it. I cringed watching her drink that glass of wine. It was the first time in my life I ever felt uncomfortable in that house.
She spent the rest of that day buzzing, was belligerent on the ride home and passed out drunk once we got there. 2 weeks made it a bottle a day, and 1 month more she was leaving our home for days to smoke crack with them.
All it took was that one glass of Merlot.
She's sober today. We went through 1 month of rehab, 4 months apart, then 5 more failing to reconcile.
An entire year of turmoil.
Tomorrow it will be just me and my daughters.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm sorry this past year has been so unhappy for you, and keep the mother of your daughters in my prayers.
The memories of your July 4th celebrations tickled my heart and I hope today brings memories of happiness back to you, and begins new traditions for your children to remember in years to come.
Happy 4th of July to all my American friends here, your Canadian neighbours cheer you on.
The memories of your July 4th celebrations tickled my heart and I hope today brings memories of happiness back to you, and begins new traditions for your children to remember in years to come.
Happy 4th of July to all my American friends here, your Canadian neighbours cheer you on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 81
As unhappy as this year has been for us all, today I have gratitude that things went the way they did.
Her decision to drink that day and the month of insanity that followed really woke me up and put an end to years of denial for me.
Today my children, me and their mother are all in such a better place, despite the fact we're separate.
It healthier for all of us this way. What a difference a year makes.
Her decision to drink that day and the month of insanity that followed really woke me up and put an end to years of denial for me.
Today my children, me and their mother are all in such a better place, despite the fact we're separate.
It healthier for all of us this way. What a difference a year makes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Thank you for sharing. Amazing how one little glass of wine can cause a spiral like that. Quite a reminder that sobriety is a one day at a time deal.
I hope you all have a happy 4th......enjoy! It sounds like you have a wonderful tradition to share with your daughters. Those will be cherished memories.
gentle hugs
ke
I hope you all have a happy 4th......enjoy! It sounds like you have a wonderful tradition to share with your daughters. Those will be cherished memories.
gentle hugs
ke
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Your family gatherings sound so wonderful. Lasy year may seem like a bad memory but it sounds like it was the catalyst that you needed to make healthy changes. Perhaps it was one of those strangely wrapped gifts Ann talks about.
I have read all your posts and your recovery is inspiring. Your little girls are truly blessed to have you. Enjoy your day with your family, you have certainly earned a peaceful, happy day filled with laughter and new memories.
Happy Independence Day.
I have read all your posts and your recovery is inspiring. Your little girls are truly blessed to have you. Enjoy your day with your family, you have certainly earned a peaceful, happy day filled with laughter and new memories.
Happy Independence Day.
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