Staff meeting at rehab- what to expect?
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: East Coast of Florida
Posts: 61
Staff meeting at rehab- what to expect?
It's been a while since I posted. My 24 YO daughter went back to jail in January while awaiting a court-ordered bed at a Bridges of America facility.
Prior to going to the Bridge, I was trying to get her into a private facility because I believe she is in need of dual diagnosis/treatment. I was unable to arrange this at the time.
I have visited her twice but haven't seen her or talk to her for a while because she is racking up DR's (disciplinary reports) which strip her of these privileges. I have received a couple of letters in which she has told me that she is going to abscond, that she is being singled out for disciplinary action, and that she was taken to the ER the other night because of something she wrote in her journal. She said that the hospital psychiatrist found nothing to be concerned about. I am the only person whom she is in contact with, but I am pretty sure she only talks to me because she needs me to do things like send her her clothes. She talks to me because I am useful to her.
A few weeks ago, she finally received a letter from a private rehab stating that she was being accepted for treatment. She showed this letter to the director at the Bridge and says that this is when they started singling her out, saying that she had nothing wrong with her but a bad attitude and wasn't going anywhere.
I took this, as I take everything she says, with a grain of salt, but today I got a call from her counselor at the Bridge and they are asking me to come tomorrow or Sunday to attend a staff meeting about my daughter. They said they have already met once to discuss her and decided to ask me to come. On the phone they asked me if she had a history of cutting (yes) or a history of bulimia (?). They said she has told them that she is not getting the help she needs there. They said she is polite to their faces but they feel that she is "flipping them the bird" inside.
I am worried about going. Do they think I'm enabling her because I tried to get her into a private facility? She told me that the director told her that our relationship is "f***d up" and of course it is after all of this. They told me that her behavior has worsened in the last couple of weeks which is about the time she got the bed letter from the facility. They told me that they think she is trying to be discharged, but if she is discharged she will violate and be sent back to jail, or worse, prison. They must think she has psychiatric issues or they wouldn't have sent her for a psych eval, but they seem to be more worried about her attitude and I don't know what they think I can do about that. I don't know anything about the staff or what they really do and I surely don't want to say anything that will make things worse for her although she has certainly ended up here because of her own actions and decisions.
My daughter has reached the phase of treatment where she is going into the community to look for a job. She has found one that gives her 10 hours a week, but she says that if she can't get a full-time job and pay back her account which is in the negative (they charge the residents for room and board, etc) that she will never be able to pay off her account and graduate from the program and will end up back in jail anyway. She says she is going to abscond and can't take it anymore and of course I worry that she'll do something stupid. She's an adult and there's nothing I can do about this but now the staff wants to involve me too. She says they made her sign the release to give them permission to contact me.
Sorry for the long post.....I'm trying to think things out. Has anyone had any experience with one of the Bridges of America programs? What information should I give them when I go? I have dealt with issues for her whole life- hyperactivity disorder, possible PD, undiagnosed issues.
Prior to going to the Bridge, I was trying to get her into a private facility because I believe she is in need of dual diagnosis/treatment. I was unable to arrange this at the time.
I have visited her twice but haven't seen her or talk to her for a while because she is racking up DR's (disciplinary reports) which strip her of these privileges. I have received a couple of letters in which she has told me that she is going to abscond, that she is being singled out for disciplinary action, and that she was taken to the ER the other night because of something she wrote in her journal. She said that the hospital psychiatrist found nothing to be concerned about. I am the only person whom she is in contact with, but I am pretty sure she only talks to me because she needs me to do things like send her her clothes. She talks to me because I am useful to her.
A few weeks ago, she finally received a letter from a private rehab stating that she was being accepted for treatment. She showed this letter to the director at the Bridge and says that this is when they started singling her out, saying that she had nothing wrong with her but a bad attitude and wasn't going anywhere.
I took this, as I take everything she says, with a grain of salt, but today I got a call from her counselor at the Bridge and they are asking me to come tomorrow or Sunday to attend a staff meeting about my daughter. They said they have already met once to discuss her and decided to ask me to come. On the phone they asked me if she had a history of cutting (yes) or a history of bulimia (?). They said she has told them that she is not getting the help she needs there. They said she is polite to their faces but they feel that she is "flipping them the bird" inside.
I am worried about going. Do they think I'm enabling her because I tried to get her into a private facility? She told me that the director told her that our relationship is "f***d up" and of course it is after all of this. They told me that her behavior has worsened in the last couple of weeks which is about the time she got the bed letter from the facility. They told me that they think she is trying to be discharged, but if she is discharged she will violate and be sent back to jail, or worse, prison. They must think she has psychiatric issues or they wouldn't have sent her for a psych eval, but they seem to be more worried about her attitude and I don't know what they think I can do about that. I don't know anything about the staff or what they really do and I surely don't want to say anything that will make things worse for her although she has certainly ended up here because of her own actions and decisions.
My daughter has reached the phase of treatment where she is going into the community to look for a job. She has found one that gives her 10 hours a week, but she says that if she can't get a full-time job and pay back her account which is in the negative (they charge the residents for room and board, etc) that she will never be able to pay off her account and graduate from the program and will end up back in jail anyway. She says she is going to abscond and can't take it anymore and of course I worry that she'll do something stupid. She's an adult and there's nothing I can do about this but now the staff wants to involve me too. She says they made her sign the release to give them permission to contact me.
Sorry for the long post.....I'm trying to think things out. Has anyone had any experience with one of the Bridges of America programs? What information should I give them when I go? I have dealt with issues for her whole life- hyperactivity disorder, possible PD, undiagnosed issues.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by Newimage 
It's been a while since I posted. My 24 YO daughter went back to jail in January while awaiting a court-ordered bed at a Bridges of America facility.
Prior to going to the Bridge, I was trying to get her into a private facility because I believe she is in need of dual diagnosis/treatment. I was unable to arrange this at the time.
They said they have already met once to discuss her and decided to ask me to come. On the phone they asked me if she had a history of cutting (yes) or a history of bulimia (?). They said she has told them that she is not getting the help she needs there. They said she is polite to their faces but they feel that she is "flipping them the bird" inside.
I am worried about going. Do they think I'm enabling her because I tried to get her into a private facility? She told me that the director told her that our relationship is "f***d up" and of course it is after all of this. They told me that her behavior has worsened in the last couple of weeks which is about the time she got the bed letter from the facility. They told me that they think she is trying to be discharged, but if she is discharged she will violate and be sent back to jail, or worse, prison. They must think she has psychiatric issues or they wouldn't have sent her for a psych eval, but they seem to be more worried about her attitude and I don't know what they think I can do about that. .
Prior to going to the Bridge, I was trying to get her into a private facility because I believe she is in need of dual diagnosis/treatment. I was unable to arrange this at the time.
They said they have already met once to discuss her and decided to ask me to come. On the phone they asked me if she had a history of cutting (yes) or a history of bulimia (?). They said she has told them that she is not getting the help she needs there. They said she is polite to their faces but they feel that she is "flipping them the bird" inside.
I am worried about going. Do they think I'm enabling her because I tried to get her into a private facility? She told me that the director told her that our relationship is "f***d up" and of course it is after all of this. They told me that her behavior has worsened in the last couple of weeks which is about the time she got the bed letter from the facility. They told me that they think she is trying to be discharged, but if she is discharged she will violate and be sent back to jail, or worse, prison. They must think she has psychiatric issues or they wouldn't have sent her for a psych eval, but they seem to be more worried about her attitude and I don't know what they think I can do about that. .
Also, I would not think your daughter could be put back in jail for leaving this rehab and going to a private facility. Im sure it would have to be approved by the courts, and would have to be worked on through that angle. She might still be responsible for paying her room and board fees, but it might be put off until after the other treatment ended, etc. If its still of interest to her and you also think it would be beneficial, then I would explore the option. All rehabs are not created equally.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
I'm not familiar with the women's facilities, but am with Turning Point which is part of the Bridge system. It sounds like she hasn't finished out her sentencing and is still considered to be part of the DOC system. Which means she may not be eligible to be transferred to a private facility at this point.
And, I'm honestly impressed that they are consulting with you at all. Most DOC facilities communication with the family consists of one phone call verifying the home plan prior to release.
Keeping things from them, or trying to protect her will not help her. They need to know what kind of issues she has so they can somewhat tailor a treatment plan for her. Or if she is being too disruptive, they may want to send her back to jail to finish out her sentencing.
And, I'm honestly impressed that they are consulting with you at all. Most DOC facilities communication with the family consists of one phone call verifying the home plan prior to release.
Keeping things from them, or trying to protect her will not help her. They need to know what kind of issues she has so they can somewhat tailor a treatment plan for her. Or if she is being too disruptive, they may want to send her back to jail to finish out her sentencing.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: East Coast of Florida
Posts: 61
Thank you so much for your replies- they are helping me get my thoughts in order.
My daughter was incarcerated for her drug related crimes (credit card theft, check forgery, burglary) for a year. She bonded out and came to stay with me for about a month before her sentencing. During that time, she used, refused to help around the house, refused to seek treatment for her addiction and some minor medical issues, and wreaked havoc at my job for trying to acquire pain meds after some dental work.
I attended her sentencing in January. Her father was one of her victims. The state attorney's office, the prosecutors, were nice enough to be in contact with me about her case since she was living with me at the time. The judge sentenced her to community control (house arrest) for two years followed by 3 years of drug offender probation. With community control, there has to be a home to go to. Her father was not an option. The judge called me to speak and I said in court that based on her behavior over the month she lived with me and the fact that she was using, and that I have another daughter at home who was not willing to have her life disrupted further, I could not allow her to live with me either. I told the judge that I would consider giving her a home if she successfully completed a drug rehab program. The judge ordered the Bridge, and my daughter went back to jail for a month until a bed opened up at the rehab.
So, yes, this is a DOC program, but the judge was originally going to release her to community control if she had had a place to live because she had served her sentence. I guess this, then, is a part of her sentence but it was only ordered because she had nowhere to go. My understanding is that if she doesn't complete the program, she will technically violate and be taken back to jail or prison.
I guess I am glad at this point that someone is asking about her medical history. This has not been done before. In court, I mentioned it to the judge and told the judge I thought she needed further evaluation, but the judge had only this facility as an option as I had not made any arrangements otherwise. And to be honest, I didn't think a 30 day program would be sufficient. It was a relief when she was sent to the Bridge that I knew the program was a 6 to 8 month deal.
Still anxious about going and the whole thing.
My daughter was incarcerated for her drug related crimes (credit card theft, check forgery, burglary) for a year. She bonded out and came to stay with me for about a month before her sentencing. During that time, she used, refused to help around the house, refused to seek treatment for her addiction and some minor medical issues, and wreaked havoc at my job for trying to acquire pain meds after some dental work.
I attended her sentencing in January. Her father was one of her victims. The state attorney's office, the prosecutors, were nice enough to be in contact with me about her case since she was living with me at the time. The judge sentenced her to community control (house arrest) for two years followed by 3 years of drug offender probation. With community control, there has to be a home to go to. Her father was not an option. The judge called me to speak and I said in court that based on her behavior over the month she lived with me and the fact that she was using, and that I have another daughter at home who was not willing to have her life disrupted further, I could not allow her to live with me either. I told the judge that I would consider giving her a home if she successfully completed a drug rehab program. The judge ordered the Bridge, and my daughter went back to jail for a month until a bed opened up at the rehab.
So, yes, this is a DOC program, but the judge was originally going to release her to community control if she had had a place to live because she had served her sentence. I guess this, then, is a part of her sentence but it was only ordered because she had nowhere to go. My understanding is that if she doesn't complete the program, she will technically violate and be taken back to jail or prison.
I guess I am glad at this point that someone is asking about her medical history. This has not been done before. In court, I mentioned it to the judge and told the judge I thought she needed further evaluation, but the judge had only this facility as an option as I had not made any arrangements otherwise. And to be honest, I didn't think a 30 day program would be sufficient. It was a relief when she was sent to the Bridge that I knew the program was a 6 to 8 month deal.
Still anxious about going and the whole thing.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Long term rehab is often more helpful than short term, you are right to like the length of this one.
I agree with the poster who said "be honest". That's all that is required of you is to tell the truth. It doesn't matter who likes it or doesn't, the truth is what may help her most.
Things to remember here...
"You" are not the only solution to her problem. She is in rehab which is good, she can find after support and clean living if she seeks it.
She has consequences to pay for her actions. Not liking rehab is the least of her problems, and I pray she will get the medical and psychological help she also needs there.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your daughter. I know how I felt when my son was in rehab and I wanted to much for everything to "work" for him. In the end, he had to want it more than I.
Hugs
I agree with the poster who said "be honest". That's all that is required of you is to tell the truth. It doesn't matter who likes it or doesn't, the truth is what may help her most.
Things to remember here...
"You" are not the only solution to her problem. She is in rehab which is good, she can find after support and clean living if she seeks it.
She has consequences to pay for her actions. Not liking rehab is the least of her problems, and I pray she will get the medical and psychological help she also needs there.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your daughter. I know how I felt when my son was in rehab and I wanted to much for everything to "work" for him. In the end, he had to want it more than I.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I am worried about going. Do they think I'm enabling her because I tried to get her into a private facility? She told me that the director told her that our relationship is "f***d up" and of course it is after all of this.
I would be concerned with the fact that the director used the term "f*&cked up". It is not very professional and many rehabs prohibit the use of foul language.
gentle hugs
ke
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