someoneswife

Hello,
I just found out last Tuesday that my husband has been an addict for a couple years. He hid it very well. He works in the medical field and was diverting. He lost his job and that's when he told me. Needless to say I was in a state of shock. He entered a 90 day rehab program on Friday. I am looking for support and/or advice. I don't really know where to turn. Does anyone have any books they could recommend? I'm also curious about alanon meetings. Are they just for families of alcoholics or are they for everyone? I want to learn as much as I can so I fully know what I am facing.
Thanks

lizwig

Hello, I'm really sorry for what has brought you here. It's good your husband entered a treatment facility voluntarily. I also work in healthcare and most states have really good peer programs through DORA...hopefully he'll be able to adhere to their guidelines and program and retain his license, although it will be closely monitored for many years to come. In terms of al-anon....I have found great support there, even though Nar-anon would be a better fit for my/your situation. There aren't any in my area so I opt for Al-anon. You'll find other members who are dealing with addiction issues v. alcoholism there as well. This site is excellent, there are terrific stickies at the top of the home page you can read when you have a moment.

I'm really proud of you for recognizing you are going to need support through this. I have no doubt you were in a state of shock. A couple of books I've found really helpful are "Co-dependent No More" by Melody Beattie....and one called "How to get your loved one sober, alternatives to nagging, pleading....", I'm sorry I can't remember the author right at the moment but it is talked about in one of the stickies. This book helps a lot with communication methods/styles...so you can be supportive through their recovery while setting solid boundaries for yourself. Ultimately, many of us have had to find ways to proceed with a happy, healthy life regardless of whether or not our loved ones continue to use. Keep coming back....read everything you can. Please know we all understand the feelings of being overwhelmed, concerned, angry, powerless...but yet still loving and wanting to believe in our addicts at the same time. A very delicate balance to not let it consume you too. Big hug to you today.

someoneswife

Thank you so much for your advice! I started reading Codependent No More last night and couldn't put it down. It is a truly eye opening book!