Talked to exab today and...
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: In bizarroworld
Posts: 94
Talked to exab today and...
I had texted him and it wouldnt go through so I figured that he was either arrested, dead or just blocked me. Turns out he didnt re-up the minutes cos he doesnt want his using buddies to be able to contact him. Good idea but I've been thru that before.
He's sick from coming off the pills and said I can call him at his dads anytime. He wants to get together tomorrow. He was with some older woman last night who had multiple seizures and hes just done. He's not the cheating type cos heroin is his otherbwoman but now I'm thinking hmmm.
It's possible that hes done this time. But I've been on this roller coaster long enough not to want to get my hopes up. First of all, we've never been apart for this long (five months), and who has he been with all this time? Some older woman? I'm the older woman (18 yrs older). Either way, I feel like hes scuzzy cos hes been gone so long and I dont know what hes been doing. Yuk!
So, when he calls tomorrow to hang out (after he does a landscaping job/putting me on hold yet again), I'm gonna tell him that I'm glad hes ok and trying to get clean but, until I see him going to meetings regularly and working with his sponsor, maybe in a year we can talk. Otherwise I'm just setting myself up for the usual inevitable two good days together and drop.
We'll see how that goes with him. Cos, truth be told, I'm not sure I want him back what with all the lies and manipulations and the negative ways I've changed. I'm going to alanon, got a sponsor and working my aa program. I'm sick of constantly starting over.
Wish me strength! Thanks for letting me share.
He's sick from coming off the pills and said I can call him at his dads anytime. He wants to get together tomorrow. He was with some older woman last night who had multiple seizures and hes just done. He's not the cheating type cos heroin is his otherbwoman but now I'm thinking hmmm.
It's possible that hes done this time. But I've been on this roller coaster long enough not to want to get my hopes up. First of all, we've never been apart for this long (five months), and who has he been with all this time? Some older woman? I'm the older woman (18 yrs older). Either way, I feel like hes scuzzy cos hes been gone so long and I dont know what hes been doing. Yuk!
So, when he calls tomorrow to hang out (after he does a landscaping job/putting me on hold yet again), I'm gonna tell him that I'm glad hes ok and trying to get clean but, until I see him going to meetings regularly and working with his sponsor, maybe in a year we can talk. Otherwise I'm just setting myself up for the usual inevitable two good days together and drop.
We'll see how that goes with him. Cos, truth be told, I'm not sure I want him back what with all the lies and manipulations and the negative ways I've changed. I'm going to alanon, got a sponsor and working my aa program. I'm sick of constantly starting over.
Wish me strength! Thanks for letting me share.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think you are wise to keep some time and space between you. He hasn't changed and when nothing changes, nothing changes.
But you have changed, you can see that this relationship leads only to pain and sadness. You deserve better. And the risk of physical harm to you if he is a needle user and has been with other women, is not worth taking.
Wish him well, the wish yourself well too...in your recovery and meetings and taking care of yourself.
Hugs
But you have changed, you can see that this relationship leads only to pain and sadness. You deserve better. And the risk of physical harm to you if he is a needle user and has been with other women, is not worth taking.
Wish him well, the wish yourself well too...in your recovery and meetings and taking care of yourself.
Hugs
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