Sick of it all
 

Im so sick of everyone expecting me to be over my ex, that i should stop missing him, that i should be grateful for all i have, that its my fault for us running up the credit cards that i have to pay off while he gets to live at his dads and go out to dinner with friends, and spend money on drugs while im mired in debt, that i should be thankful that my abusive ex husband moved in my apt to help me pay bills so i get to be holed up in my bedroom to stay away from him, that i dont have to work three jobs while i go to school ft and intern. That my life should be all better by now. I miss my ex. And i freakin hate that i ever met him and let his addiction to heroin turn me from Happy, Joyous and Free to this angry, resentful pile of depression. And im tired of my aa sponsor jumping my s*** cos im not over it by now. :c004:

ok wait....are there two exs here?

Ex addict bf and ex husband

ah....how did it come to pass that of all your options reverting to the abusive ex husband was the chosen solution? just to me that seems like going backwards and while maybe you can't SEE it, I can sure see how that would add to your already upset state. hopefully you are taking steps to be FREE. free from addiction, free from abuse, free from being dependent on others. that will be a very good thing.

Because, when my exabf lived here, we ran up bills and, when it was time to pay them, he split and relapsed (yet again. my fault for believing he wouldn't do that to me again). Ex husband agreed to move in with me to help me pay my bills and keep my apt cos he needed to move out of his apt into something cheaper so he's paying his bills and mine too while I go to school. The last thing I wanted but my only option cos if I work, I wont get financial aid to pay for my last year at school.