they're more than a drug addict
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 349
Yesterday was our blood drive at work and my coworker donated. Unfortunately the nurse who took the blood did not do a good job. This person came in to work today with a badly bruised arm. Someone made the crack about this person being a functioning junkie. It made my stomach turn. When are people going to realize they may not know EVERYTHING about the people they work with. For instance, my son is a recovering addict. If there's one thing I learned through this ordeal with my addict is that be careful what you say to people. You just don't know what's going on in their lives. D*M!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 83
Good read. Interesting topic. I am sorry to say I have used these terms in some of my desperate posts recently. I regretted it as soon as I posted it & I apologise if I have offended anyone. Im new to this 'game'. I'm the first to admit I'm not perfect & didn't handle the hurt of addiction as well as I should have. I guess when I reached rock bottom i lashed out too. I'm not trying to justify what I said just want to put it out there.
In this last week, I feel I have a firmer grasp on addiction. What it does to people & how it is a sickness. I've been so hurt, angry, desperate during all this crazy drama & perhaps name calling the other drug users my husband would spend his time with separated them from me & the world we once had. i thought he could've had me & our kids but he chose them. I know he didn't 'choose' them now, he had no choice. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't f**king hurt.
People who take drugs are NOT bad people & do not deserve to be judged (Tell me that 2 weeks ago & I may have given a different answer). But nor do the way family & friends reaction to the 'addiction situation'. We're all on a journey whether your a currently using drug user, in recovery, a mother, wife, girlfriend, etc & should all work together to help more families & individuals before they too fall victim to this heart wrenching disease. I doubt many people out there in wider society actually understand drug abuse until they are slapped right in the face with it. I know I didn't.
I wish you all the best
In this last week, I feel I have a firmer grasp on addiction. What it does to people & how it is a sickness. I've been so hurt, angry, desperate during all this crazy drama & perhaps name calling the other drug users my husband would spend his time with separated them from me & the world we once had. i thought he could've had me & our kids but he chose them. I know he didn't 'choose' them now, he had no choice. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't f**king hurt.
People who take drugs are NOT bad people & do not deserve to be judged (Tell me that 2 weeks ago & I may have given a different answer). But nor do the way family & friends reaction to the 'addiction situation'. We're all on a journey whether your a currently using drug user, in recovery, a mother, wife, girlfriend, etc & should all work together to help more families & individuals before they too fall victim to this heart wrenching disease. I doubt many people out there in wider society actually understand drug abuse until they are slapped right in the face with it. I know I didn't.
I wish you all the best
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Needingadvice, I think many of us have lashed out in anger. The lies, the betrayal, and the hurt can be overwhelming at times.
For me, allowing myself to express my feelings was very healing. IMO, most people here understand the pain and anger that accompanies loving an addict.
For me, allowing myself to express my feelings was very healing. IMO, most people here understand the pain and anger that accompanies loving an addict.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by Needingadvice1 
Good read. Interesting topic. I am sorry to say I have used these terms in some of my desperate posts recently. I regretted it as soon as I posted it & I apologise if I have offended anyone. Im new to this 'game'. I'm the first to admit I'm not perfect & didn't handle the hurt of addiction as well as I should have. I guess when I reached rock bottom i lashed out too. I'm not trying to justify what I said just want to put it out there.
In this last week, I feel I have a firmer grasp on addiction. What it does to people & how it is a sickness. I've been so hurt, angry, desperate during all this crazy drama & perhaps name calling the other drug users my husband would spend his time with separated them from me & the world we once had. i thought he could've had me & our kids but he chose them. I know he didn't 'choose' them now, he had no choice. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't f**king hurt.
People who take drugs are NOT bad people & do not deserve to be judged (Tell me that 2 weeks ago & I may have given a different answer). But nor do the way family & friends reaction to the 'addiction situation'. We're all on a journey whether your a currently using drug user, in recovery, a mother, wife, girlfriend, etc & should all work together to help more families & individuals before they too fall victim to this heart wrenching disease. I doubt many people out there in wider society actually understand drug abuse until they are slapped right in the face with it. I know I didn't.
I wish you all the best
In this last week, I feel I have a firmer grasp on addiction. What it does to people & how it is a sickness. I've been so hurt, angry, desperate during all this crazy drama & perhaps name calling the other drug users my husband would spend his time with separated them from me & the world we once had. i thought he could've had me & our kids but he chose them. I know he didn't 'choose' them now, he had no choice. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't f**king hurt.
People who take drugs are NOT bad people & do not deserve to be judged (Tell me that 2 weeks ago & I may have given a different answer). But nor do the way family & friends reaction to the 'addiction situation'. We're all on a journey whether your a currently using drug user, in recovery, a mother, wife, girlfriend, etc & should all work together to help more families & individuals before they too fall victim to this heart wrenching disease. I doubt many people out there in wider society actually understand drug abuse until they are slapped right in the face with it. I know I didn't.
I wish you all the best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: orlando florida
Posts: 120
I TOO agree!! This site is amazing! To continue my original "thread" regarding "us" takin the seat allll the way in the back of the bus while are loved one sits up front right behind the driver (drug of choice). Perhaps one day our loved one will get tired of always stepping on that bus for that "ride" and always having us sit so far behind them. Perhaps they will feel lonely, sad and for even more reasons than that finally get tired of that bus!! Finally want to take another exit, an exit called sobriety!! Sure they're will be lots more bus driver trying to pick him/her up and take them to "highville" but with enuf support and a healthy mindset they will waive that driver far, far away!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
I feel the need to chime in and be just a bit of a contrary voice.
I am an alcoholic. At every meeting I introduce myself as an alcoholic. I have a disease that once had me. I will continue to remind myself that I am an alcoholic til the day I die...lest I forget and let the forgotten label kill me.
I say I am an alcoholic on a daily basis outside of meetings as well. I know that some may judge me, but most often there is someone who relates to me. Most often there is someone who is struggling with their own hidden disease, fear of the stigma, fear of the powerlessness. Or, quite often, there is a family member, friend or lover of someone with the dis-ease...and my being open about my "label" helps them to find someone to talk to...to discuss a rampant...horribly destructive...plague like scourge on this fine society we have.
There are times when labeling cuts to the chase. There are times when it is not appropriate to be polite. My ex boyfriend who is a beautiful man...intelligent, sensitive, kind...has been losing his life for twenty years to smoking crack. He has lost his family, his home, his education, his reputation, his capacity to sustain loving relationships to the absolute evil of crack.
I used to call him an addict. In recovery meetings he would always introduce himself as an alcoholic. He would not admit that he was an addict. I used to call him a crackhead. His life has been disintegrating for two decades...up in smoke in a crack pipe. I did it in anger...at times...but I also would do it in attempts to break through his denial.
His denial...his shame...his fear of stigma...his resistance to accepting the insanity of his addiction...his refusal of labels...is all part of what is destroying his life. CRACK in his HEAD.
I know I will probably catch some flack for this. But please know that 12 stepping doesn't happen in meetings. I have 12 stepped people who are struggling while at work, at play and in my salon chair. I 12 step people by labeling myself...I label myself to TAKE away the stigma, to push away shame and secrecy.
Please...don't ever stop labeling me as an alcoholic, lest I forget and relapse into hell.
I am an alcoholic. At every meeting I introduce myself as an alcoholic. I have a disease that once had me. I will continue to remind myself that I am an alcoholic til the day I die...lest I forget and let the forgotten label kill me.
I say I am an alcoholic on a daily basis outside of meetings as well. I know that some may judge me, but most often there is someone who relates to me. Most often there is someone who is struggling with their own hidden disease, fear of the stigma, fear of the powerlessness. Or, quite often, there is a family member, friend or lover of someone with the dis-ease...and my being open about my "label" helps them to find someone to talk to...to discuss a rampant...horribly destructive...plague like scourge on this fine society we have.
There are times when labeling cuts to the chase. There are times when it is not appropriate to be polite. My ex boyfriend who is a beautiful man...intelligent, sensitive, kind...has been losing his life for twenty years to smoking crack. He has lost his family, his home, his education, his reputation, his capacity to sustain loving relationships to the absolute evil of crack.
I used to call him an addict. In recovery meetings he would always introduce himself as an alcoholic. He would not admit that he was an addict. I used to call him a crackhead. His life has been disintegrating for two decades...up in smoke in a crack pipe. I did it in anger...at times...but I also would do it in attempts to break through his denial.
His denial...his shame...his fear of stigma...his resistance to accepting the insanity of his addiction...his refusal of labels...is all part of what is destroying his life. CRACK in his HEAD.
I know I will probably catch some flack for this. But please know that 12 stepping doesn't happen in meetings. I have 12 stepped people who are struggling while at work, at play and in my salon chair. I 12 step people by labeling myself...I label myself to TAKE away the stigma, to push away shame and secrecy.
Please...don't ever stop labeling me as an alcoholic, lest I forget and relapse into hell.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Words don't create stigma, labels don't create stigma...ignorance creates stigma.
i don't believe there is any such thing as "a normal life" when someone is addicted. To some degree, addiction reduces everything... performance, relationships, growth, authenticity, potential...even if initially the degree is undetectable by others, something somewhere is being compromised on some level.
A family member used heroin for 20 years. Kept the same job, stayed married, built a house, raised a family, was outwardly successful...until his son found him dead in the bathroom with a needle in his arm.
He maintained a normal life until he didn't.
We could all stop using the words junkie, crackhead, and drunk and still have the same attitude toward the addicted. It's going to take more than PCness to change society's current view of the addicted.
Calling someone a name to hurt them is not nice for sure, but it isn't going to make someone use more or drink more. You can't make someone more addicted any more than you can make them quit. When I was drinking (and messing up my life and everyone else's) and someone called me a drunk...I boohooed and said "I'm just a hopeless drunk so ill just keep drinking"...I used it as a convenient excuse to continue my addiction, and my bad behavior. But trust me, if no one ever called me that I could easily find another excuse.
Addiction doesn't define a person? Toward the end, if I wasn't drunk, I was hungover until I was drunk again...if I wasn't drinking I was fiending until the moment I was drinking. I rarely did any activities that did not involve drinking, and if I did I drank beforehand, then counted the minutes until the activity was over so I could drink. Or i took benzos to "get through" Lots of these included my kids' activities when I was only there physically because mentally I was "good god when is this sh*t gonna be over?!" So I could drink. Yeah, I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sorry to say there was definitely a time when my addiction defined me.
Originally Posted by allforcnm
But I think it is also good to realize people are at various stages of addiction, and some maintain overall normal lives with addiction hidden in the background.
A family member used heroin for 20 years. Kept the same job, stayed married, built a house, raised a family, was outwardly successful...until his son found him dead in the bathroom with a needle in his arm.
He maintained a normal life until he didn't.
We could all stop using the words junkie, crackhead, and drunk and still have the same attitude toward the addicted. It's going to take more than PCness to change society's current view of the addicted.
Calling someone a name to hurt them is not nice for sure, but it isn't going to make someone use more or drink more. You can't make someone more addicted any more than you can make them quit. When I was drinking (and messing up my life and everyone else's) and someone called me a drunk...I boohooed and said "I'm just a hopeless drunk so ill just keep drinking"...I used it as a convenient excuse to continue my addiction, and my bad behavior. But trust me, if no one ever called me that I could easily find another excuse.
Addiction doesn't define a person? Toward the end, if I wasn't drunk, I was hungover until I was drunk again...if I wasn't drinking I was fiending until the moment I was drinking. I rarely did any activities that did not involve drinking, and if I did I drank beforehand, then counted the minutes until the activity was over so I could drink. Or i took benzos to "get through" Lots of these included my kids' activities when I was only there physically because mentally I was "good god when is this sh*t gonna be over?!" So I could drink. Yeah, I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sorry to say there was definitely a time when my addiction defined me.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I remember the first time I called my husband a drug addict. I couldn't believe those words had just come out of my mouth. I had conveniently down played it to "a pill problem" for over a year. The truth is he is a drug addict and always will be. He will either be one in recovery or not. Only he can decide that.
I was a little surprised when I went to my first NA meeting and most everyone introduced themselves with the word addict before their name. It's when they forget that or listen to their addict voice, the addiction takes back control.
I wouldn't call it labeling, I would call it acceptance.
I was a little surprised when I went to my first NA meeting and most everyone introduced themselves with the word addict before their name. It's when they forget that or listen to their addict voice, the addiction takes back control.
I wouldn't call it labeling, I would call it acceptance.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
The person I cared for lost her fight.
Semantics didn't do her in. Addiction did.
The world can remember her any way it wants. I have no control
(nor do I want any) or what other people say. She was called an c**t,
a wh**e, a junkie, a loser, a horrible mother ---- and THOSE were just
the words of her "loved ones". Those untouchable scumbags whose orbit
she fell into just used, dissed, and abused her. Being treated like a worthless
piece of trash (traumatic bonding) 'kinda trumps semantics.
I called her my friend. She was a bachelors degree holder in a zip code where
fewer than 10% possessed one. She was not a loser, a nothing, or a nobody.
She was a human being.
She made a mistake, compounded it ----- and the snowball effect took over.
Was she laughing at me every time I was showed up on 100 corners at a hundred
a pop? Probably.
But I know my place in the pecking order (call it honest arrogance).I have damn few
regrets about how I have conducted my life. I've made a few minor mistakes----treating
a suffering and hurting human being with dignity and respect was not one of them.
Enabling was a mistake. An error terminated after my eyes were opened by SR.
People who form intent to hurt with words reveal far more about themselves than their targets.
Semantics didn't do her in. Addiction did.
The world can remember her any way it wants. I have no control
(nor do I want any) or what other people say. She was called an c**t,
a wh**e, a junkie, a loser, a horrible mother ---- and THOSE were just
the words of her "loved ones". Those untouchable scumbags whose orbit
she fell into just used, dissed, and abused her. Being treated like a worthless
piece of trash (traumatic bonding) 'kinda trumps semantics.
I called her my friend. She was a bachelors degree holder in a zip code where
fewer than 10% possessed one. She was not a loser, a nothing, or a nobody.
She was a human being.
She made a mistake, compounded it ----- and the snowball effect took over.
Was she laughing at me every time I was showed up on 100 corners at a hundred
a pop? Probably.
But I know my place in the pecking order (call it honest arrogance).I have damn few
regrets about how I have conducted my life. I've made a few minor mistakes----treating
a suffering and hurting human being with dignity and respect was not one of them.
Enabling was a mistake. An error terminated after my eyes were opened by SR.
People who form intent to hurt with words reveal far more about themselves than their targets.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I am an alcoholic. At every meeting I introduce myself as an alcoholic. I have a disease that once had me. I will continue to remind myself that I am an alcoholic til the day I die...lest I forget and let the forgotten label kill me.
I say I am an alcoholic on a daily basis outside of meetings as well. I know that some may judge me, but most often there is someone who relates to me. Most often there is someone who is struggling with their own hidden disease, fear of the stigma, fear of the powerlessness. Or, quite often, there is a family member, friend or lover of someone with the dis-ease...and my being open about my "label" helps them to find someone to talk to...to discuss a rampant...horribly destructive...plague like scourge on this fine society we have.
I say I am an alcoholic on a daily basis outside of meetings as well. I know that some may judge me, but most often there is someone who relates to me. Most often there is someone who is struggling with their own hidden disease, fear of the stigma, fear of the powerlessness. Or, quite often, there is a family member, friend or lover of someone with the dis-ease...and my being open about my "label" helps them to find someone to talk to...to discuss a rampant...horribly destructive...plague like scourge on this fine society we have.
I hope to God my son never conveniently forgets the label that can kill him. He is an addict. He is my son. Brilliant. Funny. Athletic. Charming. Handsome. Charismatic. Those are all labels....and when addiction gets ahold of those attributes......it's not good. For him or anyone around him.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
I've read the replies and can't help wondering, as I often have through the years, if this is also a cultural thing?
Where I live people just don't tend to use those terms. I wasn't raised to call someone who drinks a lot or a little a drunk. I've seen people post about relatives that had 10-30-50 years of sobriety yet "lovingly" refer to them as a drunk. It makes my skin crawl to hear those terms. But that's MY problem.
Also, I love Leslie's post and totally get what she was saying. Yet, on the same vein, I went through a horrible period in my life where I was physical hurt, emotionally destroyed and verbally or literally, punched in the head -oh heck, approx bi-monthly. I was, in complete denial about her mental health diagnosis. The only reason I'm posting this not-fun-crap is ...I would never refer to her as "my bipolar insane abusive girlfriend".
I'd never diagnose her with something or refer to her as that "label"..The sickest people I've seen in my life are the ones that "decide" someone is bipolar/NPD/otherwise.
I really don't understand the phrases that some insist are good/ok to say. In the end I just think it's a family/cultural thing.
I've got a pretty broad spectrum of friends in my life and have never heard the 'labels' of drunk/junkie. Unless someone is being vicious. Then it all flies out. ...constantly.
lastly- one of the worst phrases I've ever heard is 'my addict. my alcoholic." My? really?
Makes me cringe. Again- my problem.
Probably not in tune with most others on this board (?could be wrong) but giving my experience from a very very small town farm, very traditional upbringing and most of my county is extremely conservative.
Go figure!
Where I live people just don't tend to use those terms. I wasn't raised to call someone who drinks a lot or a little a drunk. I've seen people post about relatives that had 10-30-50 years of sobriety yet "lovingly" refer to them as a drunk. It makes my skin crawl to hear those terms. But that's MY problem.
Also, I love Leslie's post and totally get what she was saying. Yet, on the same vein, I went through a horrible period in my life where I was physical hurt, emotionally destroyed and verbally or literally, punched in the head -oh heck, approx bi-monthly. I was, in complete denial about her mental health diagnosis. The only reason I'm posting this not-fun-crap is ...I would never refer to her as "my bipolar insane abusive girlfriend".
I'd never diagnose her with something or refer to her as that "label"..The sickest people I've seen in my life are the ones that "decide" someone is bipolar/NPD/otherwise.
I really don't understand the phrases that some insist are good/ok to say. In the end I just think it's a family/cultural thing.
I've got a pretty broad spectrum of friends in my life and have never heard the 'labels' of drunk/junkie. Unless someone is being vicious. Then it all flies out. ...constantly.
lastly- one of the worst phrases I've ever heard is 'my addict. my alcoholic." My? really?
Makes me cringe. Again- my problem.
Probably not in tune with most others on this board (?could be wrong) but giving my experience from a very very small town farm, very traditional upbringing and most of my county is extremely conservative.
Go figure!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 625
As many of you know, my wife did a long bid in prison. I wrote this back then when I was on a support forum for friends and family but it seemed in keeping with the op's post. Change the word from inmate to addict or alcoholic and there's precious little difference. Here's a piece of it:
Every manner in which society considers the inmate dehumanizes them. They are not David or Michelle Jones any longer; they become Inmate Jones. In a single broad stroke the term ‘inmate’ removes from them both their sex and their given or personal name. They immediately become sterile and generic. Society refers to them in depersonalized terms like delinquents and deadbeats, thieves and murderers.
It’s easy to hate a callous, calculating, cold-blooded specter of evil; it’s quite another to hate a human being. Before we get self-righteous if we’re like most people – and we’re old enough, we’ve probably hated the Japanese, the Germans, the blacks, the whites, the Russians, the Muslims, the DOC and a host of others. It’s easy to hate some depersonalized, dehumanized, description. There is no human being present in the idea of ‘them’.
When we fall in love with ‘them’ it becomes personal for those who love us. Our love and acceptance of ‘them’ challenges our friends and loved ones worldview. Typically, they have a huge investment in that belief system. In most cases, and in the United States alone, they have dismissed over two million people – and if you are right, if these are actually people who must be judged on their merits as individuals and members of the human race… well, life just got a lot more complicated.
In some ways though, I understand their confusion. By way of example, I’ve never been one to go for Barbie. Her apparent pretentiousness and obsessions with social status and designer tags seem to leave little depth for exploration. Unless her self-development is clandestine and her saccharine personality a cover, then I am confident that I haven’t squandered a single opportunity to find true love and companionship by passing ‘them’ by.
Every manner in which society considers the inmate dehumanizes them. They are not David or Michelle Jones any longer; they become Inmate Jones. In a single broad stroke the term ‘inmate’ removes from them both their sex and their given or personal name. They immediately become sterile and generic. Society refers to them in depersonalized terms like delinquents and deadbeats, thieves and murderers.
It’s easy to hate a callous, calculating, cold-blooded specter of evil; it’s quite another to hate a human being. Before we get self-righteous if we’re like most people – and we’re old enough, we’ve probably hated the Japanese, the Germans, the blacks, the whites, the Russians, the Muslims, the DOC and a host of others. It’s easy to hate some depersonalized, dehumanized, description. There is no human being present in the idea of ‘them’.
When we fall in love with ‘them’ it becomes personal for those who love us. Our love and acceptance of ‘them’ challenges our friends and loved ones worldview. Typically, they have a huge investment in that belief system. In most cases, and in the United States alone, they have dismissed over two million people – and if you are right, if these are actually people who must be judged on their merits as individuals and members of the human race… well, life just got a lot more complicated.
In some ways though, I understand their confusion. By way of example, I’ve never been one to go for Barbie. Her apparent pretentiousness and obsessions with social status and designer tags seem to leave little depth for exploration. Unless her self-development is clandestine and her saccharine personality a cover, then I am confident that I haven’t squandered a single opportunity to find true love and companionship by passing ‘them’ by.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
What would be really hilarious would be a setting where everyone was a label: Bobs an addict, Sue is a Breast Cancer, Toms a diabetic, Jane is rosacea, Tonys ED….oohh , Kris is bipolar, Carries Male Pattern Baldness (but isn’t that for men? Interesting). Freds a hypertension, Marys Crohns Disease, Teds hypochondriac, Billy is Prostrate Cancer, Monica is Hansens Disease (aka Leprosy) ……
Sure sometimes people with chronic illness … or other issues speak of their illness (especially in certain circles) but they don’t need to label themselves to know they need to care for themselves in special ways to maintain their health.
If they chose to label themselves and talk about their condition because they feel it benefits them, then that is fine, it is their choice. Its however not necessary.
Does it mean Monica is in denial of her Leprosy unless she calls herself a leper? I think not. Although I hope she speaks up because that one is contagious, or is it ? Wasn’t there some major stigma attached to being a leper at one time? Does it still exist today? Do people need to be quarantined? Did people hide their leprosy to avoid being labeled? Did this cause delay in treatment and progression of illness? I ask already knowing the answers to these questions….
And with this, Im off to dinner with my.... just husband.
GFWHONEVERKNEW = for safety purposes, we will avoid using a bus tonight. I love your analogy however. Its very true.
Sure sometimes people with chronic illness … or other issues speak of their illness (especially in certain circles) but they don’t need to label themselves to know they need to care for themselves in special ways to maintain their health.
If they chose to label themselves and talk about their condition because they feel it benefits them, then that is fine, it is their choice. Its however not necessary.
Does it mean Monica is in denial of her Leprosy unless she calls herself a leper? I think not. Although I hope she speaks up because that one is contagious, or is it ? Wasn’t there some major stigma attached to being a leper at one time? Does it still exist today? Do people need to be quarantined? Did people hide their leprosy to avoid being labeled? Did this cause delay in treatment and progression of illness? I ask already knowing the answers to these questions….
And with this, Im off to dinner with my.... just husband.
GFWHONEVERKNEW = for safety purposes, we will avoid using a bus tonight. I love your analogy however. Its very true.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
That was powerful, Legna.
Two million people. Dismissed. Irredeemable. Gone. Lost. "Felons".
All of them the same. Unemployable (except for the dirtiest, lowest, hardest
work there is----IF they can find it. And if they DO find it, they'd better consider themselves
DAMNED LUCKY to have found it---and be endlessly grateful.)
My takeaway lesson? To be honest I never really thought about them much before.
The person I cared about never got that far----fate intervened and our paths uncrossed
before she answered to multiple felony charges. It IS easy to hate a callous, calculating,
cold-blooded specter of evil (child molester, murderer, etc)......and no one needs to apologize for that.
That everyone judged by their peers and sent to prison has a
"heart of gold" is pure bull crap and everyone knows it.
But she wasn't a monster. She was a suburban Mom who got bored, got a boyfriend,
got hooked on oxy----and threw her entire life in the trash. Her story has been repeated
MILLIONS of times.
Was it so much to ask that she be treated with dignity, a person with a name?
Anyone who knows me would LOL if they ever got a whiff of me quoting the following...
(....but there is a first time for everything!)
(I found it on the internet)
Matthew 25:41-46 (New International Version (English Translation))
================================================== ==
42
For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
43
I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44
"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45
"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
================================================== =====
.......people on the 'southside' of life may be a**holes, or misguided, or just lousy
players at the game of life.
But they ARE human beings. When we forget that, it is not their loss;
it is ours.
Two million people. Dismissed. Irredeemable. Gone. Lost. "Felons".
All of them the same. Unemployable (except for the dirtiest, lowest, hardest
work there is----IF they can find it. And if they DO find it, they'd better consider themselves
DAMNED LUCKY to have found it---and be endlessly grateful.)
My takeaway lesson? To be honest I never really thought about them much before.
The person I cared about never got that far----fate intervened and our paths uncrossed
before she answered to multiple felony charges. It IS easy to hate a callous, calculating,
cold-blooded specter of evil (child molester, murderer, etc)......and no one needs to apologize for that.
That everyone judged by their peers and sent to prison has a
"heart of gold" is pure bull crap and everyone knows it.
But she wasn't a monster. She was a suburban Mom who got bored, got a boyfriend,
got hooked on oxy----and threw her entire life in the trash. Her story has been repeated
MILLIONS of times.
Was it so much to ask that she be treated with dignity, a person with a name?
Anyone who knows me would LOL if they ever got a whiff of me quoting the following...
(....but there is a first time for everything!)
(I found it on the internet)
Matthew 25:41-46 (New International Version (English Translation))
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42
For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
43
I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44
"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45
"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
================================================== =====
.......people on the 'southside' of life may be a**holes, or misguided, or just lousy
players at the game of life.
But they ARE human beings. When we forget that, it is not their loss;
it is ours.
IsItAlright
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: rainbow
Posts: 157
I'm hurt...
I never ever called him addict until he hit me in the end. In the relationship, he called me all the ugly names: crazy, psycho, ridiculous, *******... Everytime, I told him 'please. Think about it. I never ever say horrible things to u whenever we fight. But u say all these to me. Think. I did nothing bad to u'
I always worried if he would be very sensitive on words. I never say a bad name. But I have been tolerating all these... It hurts... I cried and kept my mouth shut. But he would never stop. Said I was childish to cry...
I wish if I could have accepted he's an addict earlier. I wish if I could have hate him earlier instead of just kept seeing the good soul inside him and ignore all the bad influence from
Addiction.
I never ever called him addict until he hit me in the end. In the relationship, he called me all the ugly names: crazy, psycho, ridiculous, *******... Everytime, I told him 'please. Think about it. I never ever say horrible things to u whenever we fight. But u say all these to me. Think. I did nothing bad to u'
I always worried if he would be very sensitive on words. I never say a bad name. But I have been tolerating all these... It hurts... I cried and kept my mouth shut. But he would never stop. Said I was childish to cry...
I wish if I could have accepted he's an addict earlier. I wish if I could have hate him earlier instead of just kept seeing the good soul inside him and ignore all the bad influence from
Addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: orlando florida
Posts: 120
Wing...I'm sry ur hurting!! He is the child for calling u childish and u said he hit u in the end, drug or no drug, no excuses for that. U are a GOOD girl and I'm sry addiction found u, ur man afflicted w it, but u never should let someone call u names other than beautiful! U r!
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