Antonchigurh

This is my first post but reading the comments in this forum has helped me enormously. I've started detaching from my Percocet abusing boyfriend who lives with me. It feels liberating to focus on myself instead of BOTH of us focussing on him and his problems. But it's also sad, because when I told him I need some distance and I'm not interested in or capable of helping him, he misconstrued this to mean he had newfound freedoms to eat huge amounts of pills. (As I write this he is throwing up in the backyard from a recent bender).

Regardless, I know he won't like it when he sees that I'm not scolding him or fussing over him. In fact, he said to me yesterday that its normal and natural for me to get upset when he uses drugs, and that its better than me being indifferent. I said ITS BETTER FOR YOU, NOT ME.

Happy to have found this place.

KKE

Wow..... "Normal and natural" for you to get upset. I find it really interesting he said that. It's like he wants his behaviour to make you feel upset and for that to be the norm for you. I dunno, that's mental, really made me think!

Good luck, stay strong!

AnvilheadII

Antonchigurh

Thank you KKE and anvil. Yes my boyfriend has shoved me into a mothering position that I didn't ask for. This is partially my fault because I didn't nip it in the bud. But the times when I end up saying "I'm not your mother" really make him have a brief/ temporary realization that he is putting me in this role.

wiscsober

Antonchigur

As you already know you will find a lot of help here! Thanks for the post.

Yes you are doing one of the best basic actions: not reacting...the addict/alcoholic is at a complete loss in what to do next...

keep on doing what you are doing...detachment

for some also helpful info. look up Naranon and Alanon literature.

Thank you for a positive post working in the solution...best you always