What does genuine recovery look like?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 64
What does genuine recovery look like?
I wanted this thread because I think that I know a little now.
It will help me with my Addict.
And it would be good to read your observations of genuine recovery.
A friend got my address and wrote me out of the blue. We have written a few times while she is in prison. It is helping me with how I see my A. They used to be peers
Genuine Recovery
-admits that she was hysterical for MONTHS in prison
-admits she would have gone back to the same things without a bad parole hearing
-takes required classes and actually learns from them
-takes non-required classes
-calls imprisonment the best thing that could've happened to her
-worried she will get out too soon
-will ask for in-patient if they let her out too soon
-does not ask for money
-does not talk about the old crowd
-admits that there are psychological issues that don't have to be drug-related
-does not talk about her looks
-talks about her estranged family
-sees relapse as a possibility
-talks about issues in specifics
-does not try to sound cool one bit
-thinks the girls in the yard talk about stupid things
-admits she used to talk about and think about that stuff all the time
-keeps distance from bad influences. has a small, close social circle.
-stays busy with various things
-humbled
-not entitled
Not Recovering
-pretty much the opposite of everything above
-excuses
-blaming others
-not realistic in planning
-"I'm not like the others."
-selfish
-superficial
-greedy
-immature
-can't wait to get out
-"I shouldn't be here"
-bad priorities
- "I can use just a little when I leave. Not like before."
- a socialite, name-dropper
It will help me with my Addict.
And it would be good to read your observations of genuine recovery.
A friend got my address and wrote me out of the blue. We have written a few times while she is in prison. It is helping me with how I see my A. They used to be peers
Genuine Recovery
-admits that she was hysterical for MONTHS in prison
-admits she would have gone back to the same things without a bad parole hearing
-takes required classes and actually learns from them
-takes non-required classes
-calls imprisonment the best thing that could've happened to her
-worried she will get out too soon
-will ask for in-patient if they let her out too soon
-does not ask for money
-does not talk about the old crowd
-admits that there are psychological issues that don't have to be drug-related
-does not talk about her looks
-talks about her estranged family
-sees relapse as a possibility
-talks about issues in specifics
-does not try to sound cool one bit
-thinks the girls in the yard talk about stupid things
-admits she used to talk about and think about that stuff all the time
-keeps distance from bad influences. has a small, close social circle.
-stays busy with various things
-humbled
-not entitled
Not Recovering
-pretty much the opposite of everything above
-excuses
-blaming others
-not realistic in planning
-"I'm not like the others."
-selfish
-superficial
-greedy
-immature
-can't wait to get out
-"I shouldn't be here"
-bad priorities
- "I can use just a little when I leave. Not like before."
- a socialite, name-dropper
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Phoenix,AZ
Posts: 1
Great topic for me at this time, thank you Baloo! I hope more people will respond with their own insights. I am really struggling with this right now. I should/will post my own thread as I am new here. However, I would love to hear from others who have "been there and done that" What are big red flags that someone is just marking time vs. real change in the early days of sobriety?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 220
Thank you Baloo. Putting this out in this format is especially helpful in allowing me to see a situation more clearly.
I saw red flags, and couldn't quite put my finger on it. I need to hold my boundaries.
Thank you! I'm looking forward to see additions.
I saw red flags, and couldn't quite put my finger on it. I need to hold my boundaries.
Thank you! I'm looking forward to see additions.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
My recovery looks like:
Me accepting the truth I know. Me taking action regarding the truth I know. Me getting myself mentally and physcially to safer ground ifnecessary. Me never accepting unacceptable behavior from anyone. Me making the necessary changes in my life to have peace and serenity. Me looking at me, myself and I and keeping my behavior and actions in check.
And no where in my recovery does it ever depend on someone else having to change.
Me accepting the truth I know. Me taking action regarding the truth I know. Me getting myself mentally and physcially to safer ground ifnecessary. Me never accepting unacceptable behavior from anyone. Me making the necessary changes in my life to have peace and serenity. Me looking at me, myself and I and keeping my behavior and actions in check.
And no where in my recovery does it ever depend on someone else having to change.
To remind people like me who's lying manipulating A keeps quacking that he is clean!! I need to read this EVERY DAY!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Originally Posted by Baloo 
I wanted this thread because I think that I know a little now.
It will help me with my Addict.
And it would be good to read your observations of genuine recovery.
A friend got my address and wrote me out of the blue. We have written a few times while she is in prison. It is helping me with how I see my A. They used to be peers
Genuine Recovery
-admits that she was hysterical for MONTHS in prison
-admits she would have gone back to the same things without a bad parole hearing
-takes required classes and actually learns from them
-takes non-required classes
-calls imprisonment the best thing that could've happened to her
-worried she will get out too soon
-will ask for in-patient if they let her out too soon
-does not ask for money
-does not talk about the old crowd
-admits that there are psychological issues that don't have to be drug-related
-does not talk about her looks
-talks about her estranged family
-sees relapse as a possibility
-talks about issues in specifics
-does not try to sound cool one bit
-thinks the girls in the yard talk about stupid things
-admits she used to talk about and think about that stuff all the time
-keeps distance from bad influences. has a small, close social circle.
-stays busy with various things
-humbled
-not entitled
Not Recovering
-pretty much the opposite of everything above
-excuses
-blaming others
-not realistic in planning
-"I'm not like the others."
-selfish
-superficial
-greedy
-immature
-can't wait to get out
-"I shouldn't be here"
-bad priorities
- "I can use just a little when I leave. Not like before."
- a socialite, name-dropper
It will help me with my Addict.
And it would be good to read your observations of genuine recovery.
A friend got my address and wrote me out of the blue. We have written a few times while she is in prison. It is helping me with how I see my A. They used to be peers
Genuine Recovery
-admits that she was hysterical for MONTHS in prison
-admits she would have gone back to the same things without a bad parole hearing
-takes required classes and actually learns from them
-takes non-required classes
-calls imprisonment the best thing that could've happened to her
-worried she will get out too soon
-will ask for in-patient if they let her out too soon
-does not ask for money
-does not talk about the old crowd
-admits that there are psychological issues that don't have to be drug-related
-does not talk about her looks
-talks about her estranged family
-sees relapse as a possibility
-talks about issues in specifics
-does not try to sound cool one bit
-thinks the girls in the yard talk about stupid things
-admits she used to talk about and think about that stuff all the time
-keeps distance from bad influences. has a small, close social circle.
-stays busy with various things
-humbled
-not entitled
Not Recovering
-pretty much the opposite of everything above
-excuses
-blaming others
-not realistic in planning
-"I'm not like the others."
-selfish
-superficial
-greedy
-immature
-can't wait to get out
-"I shouldn't be here"
-bad priorities
- "I can use just a little when I leave. Not like before."
- a socialite, name-dropper
Wow,Baloo! That is fantastic!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 64
Want to add a little...
comes off trustworthy vs. asks to be trusted
appreciates your time and conversation vs. revealing an agenda
consistent resolve vs. occasional crying out with dramatic phrases
loving vs. pushing buttons to receive love, favors
talking vs. giving you incentive to believe the talk
more red flags
-bizarre story changes that leave you wondering what was actually in it for them to lie.
-looks down on counseling
-thinks that getting caught is messing up
-comments about how close they were to winning at the corrupt life that time
- accuses the people who care most of hatred
- attributing any kind of meritorious quality to themselves from using
- thinks they can control tempting situations
- doesn't talk about their life before using
- apparent forgetfulness of wrongs they did to you
-idealizing drug friends or experiences they had together
comes off trustworthy vs. asks to be trusted
appreciates your time and conversation vs. revealing an agenda
consistent resolve vs. occasional crying out with dramatic phrases
loving vs. pushing buttons to receive love, favors
talking vs. giving you incentive to believe the talk
more red flags
-bizarre story changes that leave you wondering what was actually in it for them to lie.
-looks down on counseling
-thinks that getting caught is messing up
-comments about how close they were to winning at the corrupt life that time
- accuses the people who care most of hatred
- attributing any kind of meritorious quality to themselves from using
- thinks they can control tempting situations
- doesn't talk about their life before using
- apparent forgetfulness of wrongs they did to you
-idealizing drug friends or experiences they had together
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