SicknTired8

In your opinion(s) what is the difference between addiction and partying? Where do you draw the line?

Is it possible to drink on weekends, do various drugs, and not be addicted? When does it get to the point of an addiction? Especially for those who binge and for those who are functioning alcoholics/addicts.

Kindeyes

Addiction has to start somewhere. It can certainly start with partying. It can also start with an injury. It can start with experimentation.

When "partying" begins to interfere with various aspects of your life.....relationships, work, or legal issues begin to crop up.....and negative consequences don't cause a person to stop the activity that is bringing on those negative consequences (drug or alcohol use).....that's addiction.

Sure. And it's also possible to put a gun to your head with one bullet in it, pull the trigger, and it doesn't go off. The question is.....is it worth it?

When no matter what happens.....they can't stop. There is no "off switch". Addiction is an equal opportunity disease......it does not discriminate based on race, intelligence, age, gender, social status, occupation or any other criteria. An addict doesn't figure out that they're an addict until they are already addicted.....and often....other people around them know it long before the addict does.

gentle hugs
ke

Ann

Labels don't matter. Addict, alcoholic, functioning, partying, pain...none of the words matter one bit.

What matters is if drugs or alcohol are interfering with a person's ability to live a happy, responsible, healthy and law abiding life...there is a problem and living in the problem will just make it worse.

The solution is to stop. The ability to stop varies from person to person and the person who has trouble stopping might just want to find some help with that.

My words above apply to the person abusing a substance and also to those who love them. We can live in the problem of substance abuse or the solution of recovery....the choice is ours alone.

Hugs

sisterstruggle

I tend to be VERY suspicious of people who say they are just "partying" or that their drug use is not a problem. Addicts so often deny their addiction and say it's just "partying" or that it's not a big deal. But that's not true. My sister, who has a serious drug problem, calls it just "partying" when she uses. But typically when she "parties," she is absent from work the next day, has major anxiety, or otherwise can't function normally.

As a person who does not do any drugs (not even pot), I am wary of people who claim their weekend use is innocuous. Maybe I'm judgmental. I might also be a hypocrite though b/c I differentiate between drugs. Like, I don't think pot smoking is that big of a deal. But hard drugs or abusing prescription meds, for example, raises major red flags for me.

doggonecarl

Coming out of an addict's mouth, any euphemism for his or her use, such as partying, reflects as much of the reality of the situation as their promises to quit reflect the truth.

Little to none.

EverHopeful721

When I first started seeing my XA, he told me he only gets "f***ed up" ONCE a week. (In fact, when he went for his DUI hearing, and the judge asked "Do you think you deserved to get caught?" XA actually responded, "NO, absolutely not!! I only 'party' one night a week, and you guys just so happened to get lucky and catch me on that one night." Talk about irrational logic from an addict/alcoholic....) Anyway, although he TOLD me this was a 'once a week' thing, I quickly realized that it was a MULTIPLE night thing, because I was over there on almost every night of the week throughout the 16 months we were involved, and he was ALWAYS drunk/high or both, even on a worknight. And his idea of 'getting f***ed up'/partying was buying TWO 8-balls of cocaine EVERY Friday, to do all weekend, BY HIMSELF!! And that was only what I know about - I have no idea if he was scoring more during the week.... I've never used cocaine, but I don't know, that just seems like a LOT to me to only be "partying" and not be a full-blown addict...

Chino

I lean towards neuroscience on this subject: Repeated abuse of anything that fires up the pleasure center of the brain is addiction.

The Compass of Pleasure is a great book on the subject, and its written in layman's terms (as much as possible).

SicknTired8

I am asking this question because it just brings me back to things my ex would tell me. He is still in complete denial that he has an addiction. He parties way too hard, way too often. Misses work usually on Monday's, sometimes on Friday's. I have gone NC with him for over a month now but I know he has a gf who does the same, so I can only imagine (well, try not to) what he is up to.

I actually started seeing someone (really good paying job, has a condo, very nice car). I set a boundary for myself that I would never date an addict again. This new guy comes along and one day tells me that he 'popped' last night. I let it go because he had gone to a rave, and usually that's what people tend do to, until all his stories of him going out seemed to be about doing speed or x. This is when I cut all contact with him.

Are there any sober people out there?!?! Why do I attract these people, it makes no sense to me.

doggonecarl

Attract? Or pick?

Good time and place to start reflecting on your relationships and learning how to seek healthy ones.

Good luck.

Chino

Yes there are lots of sober people out there, and birds of a feather flock together.

AnvilheadII

carl beat me to the punch!

one real positive part of your post was: This is when I cut all contact with him. that's good. you JUST started dating him, and as soon as you discovered things you did not like or agree with, you STOPPED dating him. instead of trying to CHANGE him. good for you. that's called being selective. that's how we learn. dating really isn't much different from shoe shopping...it doesn't matter how fashionable they are, how pretty, how tall, how expensive...the ONLY thing that really matters is how they FIT us.

Chino

That is gold, anvil. Perfect.

EverHopeful721

SicknTired, have you done any work on yourself? I ask because you said it's only been a month since you went total NC with your ex, but you already started seeing someone. One thing I'm learning is that something unhealthy in me is attracting/attracted to something unhealthy in the men I've gotten involved with, and until I fix/get to the bottom of what that is, I will continue to attract/be attracted to those types of men. I know my first panicked instinct was to immediately find another man to date and concentrate on (so as to avoid having to concentrate on myself), but as I get further and further into the admittedly-scary depths of my recovery, I'm starting to understand why so many others on here recommend not jumping right into another relationship and instead work on ME. I honestly have to say, at 37 years old, I have no idea WHO I am, WHAT I want or WHERE I'm going in my life....but I do know that until I figure out the answers to those questions, I'm setting myself up for nothing but more pain and heartbreak. I can't attract healthy, non-addicted men because right now, I'M not healthy...and as they say, like attracts like.