fire2therain

Went to the gym today to take my mind off things. I just want to get rid of his stuff and get my closure and move on.

gfwhoneverknew

Just wanted to add that there's not a whole lot of closure available when there was not a "real"opening!! He was using and they're minds are altered in that state so I would suggest to try and tell yourself that circumstance brought this on and its NOT u at all!!

fire2therain

Yesterday was bad. Really bad. I cried so much. He texted me saying "sorry I haven't been answering I've been super busy ill let you know when we can exchange stuff" it's like 1) I know you aren't THAT busy to ignore me for 3 days 2) you probably relapsed or are having fun with your little girl toy that you told me about. I was just so angry so I went home and cried and cried and cried. Hopefully today is better.

Fandy

we can all see that he is manipulating you for his amusement....it's a game that you can stop playing anytime you want to....unless you enjoy feeling sad and craptastic.

I hope you might read all of your past posts and see that you are only focusing on him, not yourself...He doesn't care about your feelings and has zero respect for you, his actions clearly show this.

maybe you can get a job for the summer and be too busy to interact with this guy, it is not doing you any good.

or continue to text him, cry all day and feel craptastic, either way it's your life and your choice to make it what you want, or in this case all what HE wants....i'm surprised he hasn't asked you for $$ yet.

fire2therain

I don't understand the hold he has on me.

Fandy

I think you do. You are CHOOSING to let him have contact with you....You dated this guy for 4 months, not a decade. You have invested way too much time with a fantasy because he lied to you 4 ways til Sunday every step of the way...he's never going to be "a good person" as you believe....until he changes himself.

If at the tender age of 22, you want to stand around and waste a perfectly grand summer wallowing in your self-pity and worrying about him, go ahead....You could be doing something constructive for your own life.

Like I said, it's your choice, i just think that you don't want to see it. He has NO "hold" over you, you are not a prisoner. plain old common sense will tell you to get out of your self and go do something or go somewhere completely unrelated to him and ENJOY YOURSELF.

sorry, I can't say anymore on this subject, it's too frustrating to watch someone who has so many opportunties WASTE themselves over some loser who can't even support himself, he has to live with Mommy and Daddy because he blows all his $$ on drugs.

fire2therain

It is my choice and I will take your advice. Thanks.

KKE

Do you have friends you can go out and have fun with who know the situation you're in?

fire2therain

I did have friends but I lost my only friend here because of him around a month ago. (I'm not from where he and I are living right now) so I feel so alone.

fire2therain

So I finally got all my stuff back. Feels bittersweet but I am ready to move on.

fire2therain

And here's the funny thing: he told me he wasnt ever addicted to heroin and that he only did it a couple of times. I laughed in my head so hard.

KKE

Could you try and reconcile with that friend? Or get yourself out there. Sounds like you need to be around nice fun people. Ignore him for as long as you can. Why not set yourself mini goals? NC for five days, even if he contacts you, NC. Then after that set another one and keep,making the gap bigger. It feels like he's keeping you where he wants you because he's got you to fall back on when it all goes wrong for him. And he knows you are happy to take what ever scrap he throws you. Try something new, even if its just for a little while. If you're scared of loosing him, I guarantee he won't go anywhere just yet. He's too selfish.

tnwife

I suggest you find an al anon meeting asap.

Angelscry

You are in emotional turmoil at the moment that is probably why,you asked him for a 2nd chance. He was nice to you, you got a glimpse of that nice guy you fell inlove with and thenyou risistance crumbled. It is great that you realized it was not a wise thing o do, but don't dispair, you are not married to him you can at any given moment walk away from this. Please dear take the advice that every one has given you, walk away and turn over a brand new leaf. You made a mistake, it ok at least you know what you have to do so now you are able to make the right choice. Wih addiction comes allot of pain and suffering spare yourself all the hurt etc, go no contact with him and try to sort yourself out. You are young and I believe you will be ok. You got it in you to do what's right for you. You can do it, and you can always come and chat here when your having a hard day. Strongs!!

fire2therain

well I've been dumb. He reached out to me and we've been hanging out "as friends" for the past week. hes been calling and texting me first. I know it's probably too soon. He then suggested that we keep being intimate and instead of saying "NO" I was like oh suure. I know this is a dumb thing I just can't shake him and don't want to.

Have this happened to any of you?

fire2therain

He also told me he relapsed but not on opiates. So I'm not sure if that counts?

KKE

I guess if you don't want to then you won't........ Sounds like you want to be with him and you're going to be with him for now so why not be at peace with your decision? I sometimes wonder if I'm saying the wrong thing when I say that but I reckon there's no point beating yourself up about something that you want and say you don't want to let go of. People can advise and help you but ultimately it's up to you and you're not going into the relationship blind. You know he's a drug addict and you know what comes with that. Maybe you need the opportunity to be with him and either it works or fails. Maybe you need to go through that learning curve yourself. Either way I think so long as you know what he is and what he brings, you being with him and being intimate with him is an informed decision and if that's what you want then its what you want and there's no right or wrong as its your life.

gfwhoneverknew

I absolutely would NOT be with him when u know he's using drugs!! U set ur value as a woman and to set ur price under a pill isn't anything I could do....ur animportant person and u need to know that first, then tell people how u demand to be treated or all bets off....but that's just me

Fandy

I think that he is using you for sex..
What kind of self respect are you getting out of this...
Oooooh, he *suggested* that we be intimate..REALLY?
What is HE doing for you?
"Hanging out? Means he is cheap...it isnt dinner and a movie...what a line of crap.
Does he take you out? Care about you? Help you?....i am betting the only thing he can give you is a 1/2@$$ed erection....and with the drugs this is shortlived.
What does your therapist think?

sleepy22

all i can say is get tested. it's easier to go back to an abusive relationship because you think it's better than the pain of being alone.

temporary fixes, such as getting high, whether it be from drugs or relationships, don't solve long term issues.

may I ask why you're holding onto this person only after 4 months? If a quit a job after 4 months, you wouldn't even want to put it on your resume, so why would you have so much investment in being with this person?