kelleyt

Well went to got today for the spousal support my husband owes me 8,000 he told me and my lawyer weeks ago that if I don't drop it he will go after my house and my pension I had no choice but to drop this I have 2 kids that are not his !! I put everything I had in that house he knows I can't afford the house but he could careless this is interfering with his dope money !! I didn't care about the money it was never really about the money I wanted my husband sober !! But anyway somehow he signed divorce papers and when my lawyer called me in he said he will sign off everything and pay 300.00 a month til it's paid off ( Ya Right ) but he also signed the divorce papers I was shocked !! So I signed them he could careless I could not wait to get out of there cause I was about to cry it all hit me I sat outside and cried all day still Iam it crazy !! He walked out like it was nothing !! I guess it happened the way it was supposed 2 but I'm still heart broken

cynical one

Can you not wait until after the divorce and the house sold, the finances finalized...and then go after him for the child support?

Ann

I am sorry your day was so sad,, but sometimes closure of one part of our life does bring sadness and grief is a normal way to process the loss of what might have been.

New beginnings and brighter tomorrows await you and your children. Hold your head high and keep looking ahead, the past is over and the future is waiting for you. New dreams and new beginnings await you. Reach for your star, girl, you WILL be happy again one day soon, I promise.

Hugs

kelleyt

Thanks Ann !! No my kids were not my husbands i met my husband when he was clean over a year I will be clean and sober 14 years in September I have been separted for 2 years but we were back and forth he going to rehab and then using and he stays with his mother who doesn't seem to care her 40 year old son shoot dope in her basement has no real job no car nothing it's like there ok with it !! I guess she has to be cause then she would have to look at her self !! I wanted my husband back the one I married but he just won't stay clean and lies and lies that he is when I know the truth he hurt me more than anyone ever did in my life !! I just feel stupid and used but it over now nothing I can do it happened the way god wanted it to happen I probably would of never signed them !! But I did now I have to just feel this and move on !! I hope he will get sober but he probably will not with his mother enabling him !! I always think she is going to find him dead in the basement !! Then maybe she will get it !! I'm mad sad confused !! But I will be ok thanks u guys for listening

yellowjacket85

Sorry to hear, im going thru a nasty little divorce myself. Chin up, tommrow is a new day. Everyone i think needs to cry, really feel that pain. Its healthy, although not a lot of fun. But its normal. Sending prayers your way....


Oh ps: i left my hubby because he would not stop using as well. And guess what, his wonderful mother pretty much refused to acknowledge his substance abuse issues which basically meant no hope in saving my hub. Its like he died, i lost him to drugs.

kelleyt

Yes !! That's how it is like he is not even there anyway !! He left me and everything for a bag of dope just like that no looking back for him!! I can't num the pain like him I have to feel it all and it sucks !!

yellowjacket85

It does, every time i have to think about my idiot husband, whos drug of choice is oxy and proberly H by now, i stress out and just wish i could escape. Just one more time. Then i remember that oxy is the reason why i lost the man i loved. If that stupid drug never existed i would proberly still be happy and married. But my husband too choose drugs over me. And he will one day regret it, as will yours. You just stay clean and dont let him screw up your life anymore. So proud of you, its so hard when your married it changes everything... Makes you that much stronger!

kelleyt

Thanks you!! Hugs to u it means alot !!

love4menotu

Hi yellowjacket-

Just wanted to comment on this. I found that the "addictive" things I do (food, shopping, isolating) are in response to the emptiness I feel inside.

If I didn't have those behaviors - I would have to learn another way of handling the hole in my soul. (God knows I'm trying to learn better ways). I think my STBXH is the same. He uses anger as a way to dealing with his feelings of powerlessness.

Just my opinion - but if your husband didn't use drugs, there would probably be some other addiction he would use to fill the hole inside. Without a deep awareness of WHY we do the things we do we just continue to use the easy route to feeling better.

Food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex. You name it.

So even if drugs did not exist - you may still have divorced this man.

Hugs to you today,

L

kelleyt

Today is awful!! I'm mad sad , confused want to scream and really think how stupid can I really be !! It's just one thing after another I'm drained !! My checks are bouncing cause the money I was supposed to get at court only 300.00 did not go into my account !! My daughters birthday is Saturday and I have no money !! My son is giving me trouble not passing school !! Angry at the world !! I feel so alone ! But I did this to myself And I hate myself for being so stupid !! I ask god to show me the way out of this mess !! I don't know if I can go on like this !! Here I am trying to
Do right ! And the junkie is fine ! Not worried about a thing he has good dope no bills to
Pay !! And Iam a mess

kelleyt

Did I learn my lesson ??? Ya the hard way !! I'm so angry !!! I don't want to be angry I just want to be ok !! I just want to take care of my kids and not have to worry how finically I'm going to do it !! I have no credit cause everything was in my name !! I'm and I'm like a mess I don't even know what to do !! I feel like I'm in a nightmare that won't end I'm just existing in life I hate this

yellowjacket85

@ love,
I agree. However opiates have a habit of completely changing people. I think we had other problems but the drugs basically sealed our fate. When i decided to get clean he was not ready to follow suit. I miss the old hubby i knew, hell i would of dealt with the farting and other lets call them charater flaws. Thanks for your input tho, very interesting way of looking at it.

@kelley hope your doing a bit better today. :-)

Ann

Kelley, I'm sorry the money didn't make it to your account and hope you have better days ahead.

kelleyt

Thanks u guys for listening