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Old 06-05-2013, 05:33 PM
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Suboxone

My AH was prescribed suboxone, we are separated now, but have 2 kids, one of whom he sees twice a week. Any thoughts on this type of long term treatment? At least one year...if not forever, he says. Side effects? Living with a RA on suboxone, from the families perspective. I'm afraid if down the road he takes son for weekend and has a beer.....he could lose consciousness or die, hallucinate hear voices. I know they are extreme side effects however I don't have the trust that he won't try to abuse them in some way, cuz...well..that's what he does. Any feedback would be great!
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:27 PM
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Some views, no thoughts=
Checked out the suboxone thread, however the combinations of viewers makes for an all over the place dialogue, can't make heads nor tails????
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:00 PM
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Found a thread,
Gratitude
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:20 PM
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I can't offer actual experience on suboxone with family and longterm effects, just opinion.

Personally, I feel like suboxone is best only as a temporary component while getting intense treatment otherwise. Therapy, meetings, etc, with a plan in place for tapering off.

Another note, drinking would be usually a no no for a RA, so if there is concern about him having a beer it doesn't sound like recovery.

But my opinion is limited as the only suboxone my AB obtained was illegal and definitely not under doctor supervision.
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:23 PM
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It's really hard to answer that question because everyone is so different. I know my husband drank on suboxone but I think we was still taking pills too. I know he wasn't wasn't working in recovery program either. Fortunately, my kids were not around him at the time.
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:47 PM
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Sub, well buprenorphine is the most complicated drug I have found to date. and do fascinating.

I find it to be a great tool. And I think it can be just as efficient in the short term, the long term and if one needs it for life … well I don’t tend to really care or have an opinion either way. Remember behavior will show the truth.

I do recommend that you leave this as his and have no opinion on it, because it really isn’t your road. He will learn, no matter what the lesson, no matter what his choices of how he uses it.

Side effects….sweating, excessively. I never saw anything else and he never complained of anything else that I remember.

Drinking on sub, well certainly not recommended and while he probably shouldn’t be drinking anyway cause hello … but what will happen, I don't think anyone can know until something actually happens.

In terms of your worries. You will have to set firm boundaries. I would include him in making them in terms of the children, but that is just me.

I don’t know I never had to deal with the separation aspect and visitation. I would though listen, he will show what the truth is … if the blame is around, the comparing out, the excuses, …remember for all the talk families do about the lies, they are showing exactly what is going on. Don’t miss that, because it does change when they are making progress in a better direction.

It really will be what he makes it, and fairly obvious.
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Old 06-06-2013, 07:13 AM
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Thank you everyone for the opinions, it certainly helps. I am very firm with my boundries right now, as part of my recovery, it's important for me, as I can be co-dependant, and controlling(learned behavior) out of fear. I am discussing visitation options and negotiating on-going with my husband, however it has been difficult as my feelings or suggestions on the subject are being perceived as being done TO him for no rason, instead of with him. My questions about this new treatment are being met with guarded secrecy and transference, as I am blamed for his not being completely forthright. IE. He is scared that I will use this info to keep him from his kids, and use it against him. which I have never done. He feels like I am trying to paint him as an unfit parent, not taking accountability for the fact that he made the choices, not me. He also takes offence to the fact that one of my boundries is that he cant take the kids now for a weekend, and he no matter how many times I try to explain my fears, lack of trust, and desire to keep my kids safe and healthy(mind and body), all he hears is 'I hate you' and 'You're a bad person' He finished his residential treatment program of 21 day in march......he feels that he has already proven to me that he is better, and that I should be with him, or 'supporting him' or making promises. I feel differently based on the communication difficulties, secrecy and defensiveness I have been met with at every turn. All efforts to discuss these topics in an adult manner have been extreme exercises in patience, clarity of thought and intention on my part. However, there is that part of me that is avoiding certain topics in fear of his reactions. I am working on that with a family therapy group currently and am confident that it is not avoidance, but taking time to process, and not beginning the conversation until I can not react or be triggered. I know that what he chooses to do with the Subs or how they will affect him, is out of my control, and I'm okay with that. I just worry for my son, and how to approach the situation. I suppose, I just watch, wait, and see. Ultimatly it doesn't matter if he understand where I'm coming from, I do.
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Old 06-06-2013, 07:47 PM
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My bf has been on subs and so has my step-daughter. So far, it seems to be a tool for recovery for bf. I can't tell you what will happen long term. My step-daughter also used subs that were prescribed to her. She is back on drugs--alternating between homelessness and jail.

I think it is important for you to look at this in terms of his actions. It sounds like your gut feeling is telling you that he is not safe to be alone with your son. That speaks volumes to me.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by TabulaRasa81 View Post
Thank you everyone for the opinions, it certainly helps. I am very firm with my boundries right now, as part of my recovery, it's important for me, as I can be co-dependant, and controlling(learned behavior) out of fear. I am discussing visitation options and negotiating on-going with my husband, however it has been difficult as my feelings or suggestions on the subject are being perceived as being done TO him for no rason, instead of with him. My questions about this new treatment are being met with guarded secrecy and transference, as I am blamed for his not being completely forthright. IE. He is scared that I will use this info to keep him from his kids, and use it against him. which I have never done. He feels like I am trying to paint him as an unfit parent, not taking accountability for the fact that he made the choices, not me. He also takes offence to the fact that one of my boundries is that he cant take the kids now for a weekend, and he no matter how many times I try to explain my fears, lack of trust, and desire to keep my kids safe and healthy(mind and body), all he hears is 'I hate you' and 'You're a bad person' He finished his residential treatment program of 21 day in march......he feels that he has already proven to me that he is better, and that I should be with him, or 'supporting him' or making promises. I feel differently based on the communication difficulties, secrecy and defensiveness I have been met with at every turn. All efforts to discuss these topics in an adult manner have been extreme exercises in patience, clarity of thought and intention on my part. However, there is that part of me that is avoiding certain topics in fear of his reactions. I am working on that with a family therapy group currently and am confident that it is not avoidance, but taking time to process, and not beginning the conversation until I can not react or be triggered. I know that what he chooses to do with the Subs or how they will affect him, is out of my control, and I'm okay with that. I just worry for my son, and how to approach the situation. I suppose, I just watch, wait, and see. Ultimatly it doesn't matter if he understand where I'm coming from, I do.
I don’t have any information on subs for you, but just wanted to say after reading your post Im very impressed by the way your trying to handle communications with your husband particularly in regards to the kids. It all sounds so familiar, trying to work with my husband and come together on basically setting boundaries during the time when he was just coming home from rehab, but knowing no matter how hard you try, part of him still feels like your saying he isn’t capable. For me I hated that part. My husband got to the point of agreement, but I know some of it hurt him initially. It was however necessary in my view to keep our son safe while I gained faith in husbands abilities to handle situations related to him, etc. So anyway, didn’t mean to go on… but I think your doing great, just wanted to tell you that, and I hope it all gets better soon.
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:04 PM
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It seems to me that someone working an active recovery would understand that it takes time to rebuild trust and that the safety of your son is paramount. His expectation of immediate trust and his demands for instant gratification are troubling, I'm glad you're working on a strong program of recovery for yourself. Trust your gut, you know what's best for your son.
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:12 PM
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Quite simply, suboxone is a bridge to sobriety, lessoning the effects of withdrawal. During that time the addict is supposed to be putting into place a life without drugs/alcohol. I am certainly NOT a doctor, but they do make a lot of money on this stuff by prolonging treatment (I know people who have been on it for 8+ years).

Just be careful that you have a good doctor.
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Old 06-07-2013, 03:12 PM
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Thanks guys,
Unfortunately Pamel, It's his doctor, not mine. My understanding of it now is like you are saying, a bridge to sobriety; part of a toolkit, along with all the other tools available. I also have my issues with how well he appears to be working the program, Interrupted. Gut says, he's going along with the motions, but its not absorbing. I think that with the suboxone, the resole to 12 step will diminish even more. But who knows? Time to stop guessing and live MY life!
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