Carrots, Eggs, and, Coffee
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 505
Man.....I have been craving cheesecake since watching Master Chef last night, when they all had to make cheesecakes for the elimination round. I'm sitting there salivating as I watched the judges dig into cheesecake after cheesecake.....it was torture!! I wanted to go up and lick the TV screen!! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by Vale 
AP San Francisco
An unidentified male was found burned to death following
an unexplained explosion in a luxury domicile in the ________
district. Witnesses stated that the individual had been recently
observed wandering about aimlessly muttering something about
"3 pots...1 pot....what does it matter". A local convenience store
clerk verified that a photograph provided by police matched that
of the unidentified man----and that said subject purchased an
unusually large number of Sara Lee brand cheesecakes before
consuming said items in the alley behind the 7-11....whilst
muttering nonsensical terms such as 'crazy baby'.
When asked why the clerk had not called social services---he replied
that this was not out of the norm for this particular regular, whom he believed
to be a local soup kitchen worker....with delusions of world domination.
Emergency services found the scene difficult to secure and investigate
properly----losing their footing on surfaces made treacherous by baby carrots
and eggs, in addition to a coffee stench that would gag a Starbucks regular.
According to the on scene commander---this was becoming an all too
familiar reprise: "What kind of idiot mixes carrots, eggs, and coffee in the same
pot?".......Officials close to the matter say identification will have to await notification
of next of kin......and the clearing of excessive obscuring cheesecake from the
subjects face.
A dead mouse was also found near the scene......seemingly after chewing
it's way out of the subject's pocket.It unfortunately ran afoul
of a mousetrap set courtesy of Southland Corporation (parent of 7-11).
Next of kin of the mouse could not be located for comment.
An unidentified male was found burned to death following
an unexplained explosion in a luxury domicile in the ________
district. Witnesses stated that the individual had been recently
observed wandering about aimlessly muttering something about
"3 pots...1 pot....what does it matter". A local convenience store
clerk verified that a photograph provided by police matched that
of the unidentified man----and that said subject purchased an
unusually large number of Sara Lee brand cheesecakes before
consuming said items in the alley behind the 7-11....whilst
muttering nonsensical terms such as 'crazy baby'.
When asked why the clerk had not called social services---he replied
that this was not out of the norm for this particular regular, whom he believed
to be a local soup kitchen worker....with delusions of world domination.
Emergency services found the scene difficult to secure and investigate
properly----losing their footing on surfaces made treacherous by baby carrots
and eggs, in addition to a coffee stench that would gag a Starbucks regular.
According to the on scene commander---this was becoming an all too
familiar reprise: "What kind of idiot mixes carrots, eggs, and coffee in the same
pot?".......Officials close to the matter say identification will have to await notification
of next of kin......and the clearing of excessive obscuring cheesecake from the
subjects face.
A dead mouse was also found near the scene......seemingly after chewing
it's way out of the subject's pocket.It unfortunately ran afoul
of a mousetrap set courtesy of Southland Corporation (parent of 7-11).
Next of kin of the mouse could not be located for comment.
Vale, I am in tears and it is not because I lost my mouse...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Ann just cracked 30,000 posts and all you people can yammer
about is some dead goosestepping ladle jockey and his dead
rodent that he only bought so he could say he had a friend?
Damn shame about the mouse,though.
about is some dead goosestepping ladle jockey and his dead
rodent that he only bought so he could say he had a friend?
Damn shame about the mouse,though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Originally Posted by crazybabie
No, Vale I have mice and they have names such as, Ann, LoveMeNow, Dollydo, etc...
and it has it's own special little "watching cage" where it sits
WATCHING while your other mice swarm the cheesecake.
Not only is animal cruelty a crime in many states, so
is the abetting of pet obesity.So all I do is drop a dime and
the district atty is all over you!
Improper rodent nutrition (I have no doubt) is at the top
of the list.......priority ONE.
If you don't hear the sound of federal assault helicopters
yet.......give it a minute.
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