mareahh

I'd have to agree.

mareahh

What will it take for you to leave this poor dude alone? A restraining order? It seems to be heading in that direction.

mareahh

This is almost what my boyfriend went thru with his ex. He had to pick up and move 4 hours away and change his number without telling her. Just so she would be out of his life. Crazy..long story short. She ended up in jail for trying to kill her next boyfriend...good luck

mstrust

I don't mean to be insensitive or mean or negative or anything like that if not...but..is this a joke?

have to admit, i wondered the same thing...

EverHopeful721

"I don't mean to be insensitive or mean or negative or anything like that if not...but..is this a joke?

have to admit, i wondered the same thing..."

Wow, that's funny, because similar thoughts were expressed on the thread that got closed over on F&F of Alcoholics, too.....

AnvilheadII

maybe she has us all on ignore cuz she sure didn't consider ANY of the advice given that she asked for...........

laurie6781

That is what everybody on this thread has been saying since your original post. Yet you kept trying to contact him.

I too agree with Cynical One.

Sweetie you NEED professional help and you need it NOW.

I do believe these recent actions on your part are just a symptom of something much much deeper. PLEASE get some professional help ASAP.

Love and hugs,

mareahh

I totally agree with this.

At this point I think we are all wasting our time telling her the same thing over and over and she doesn't listen. We should end this thread.

dogluvah

I feel better this morning. I have listened to the advice, except for the nasty comments, thanks to all who posted.

dogluvah

Hi LoveMeNow, I really appreciate you and the others who are trying to help me on this thread. This is the man whom I recently posted about that hung up on me during an argument about six months ago, and who is 49 and has been living with his parents for the last 10 years. This person is extremely desperate and has been searching on dating sites for women since our association blew up in Dec.

Yesterday, I talked to two people about this. Two women and a man, both say that I will hear from this guy within the month.

Does anyone agree with that assessment? It's not that I want him or that he's right for me, it's just that I still want him to want me.

dogluvah

Also, he's trying to use me. He wants a companion and a friend to go to church with. For one thing, I'm not going to go to church with him because I don't want any single men in the church seeing me with another man. For the next thing, I'm just not interested in friendship.

If he wants to take me out and pay for it, I'll let him do that.

AnvilheadII

Also, he's trying to use me. He wants a companion and a friend to go to church with. For one thing, I'm not going to go to church with him because I don't want any single men in the church seeing me with another man. For the next thing, I'm just not interested in friendship.

If he wants to take me out and pay for it, I'll let him do that.

wow, where to begin? he's USING you because he wants to go to church with you??? and you don't want other SINGLE men seeing you with someone...in church? and you aren't INTERESTED in friendship? but you'll be glad to let him take you out and PAY for it???? (what does that remind me of.....hmmmm).

i'm not sure WHY you are here, but this isn't the how to get a man dating site. and that seems to be all you are interested in...MEN.

how about just be done with this supposedly DESPERATE guy? oh that's right, you WANT him to WANT you. what is THAT about? i'm sorry, i'm just not getting how this fits in this forum???

dogluvah

Anvil, it fits in this forum because this guy was addicted to Cocaine and Meth for 20 years or so, and an alcoholic for 12 years. When I first came here, I was hesitant about dating this man because of the substance and alcohol abuse he had engaged in for so long. If other eligible men see me in church with him that will turn them off. You don't understand this?

dogluvah

Do you really think a woman looking for a healthy relationship is going to take a 49 year old man living with his parents just for comfort and convenience reasons seriously? That is why he's still on dating sites trying desperately to find someone. That is why he's still single. He's still going to AA meetings, so that is a good thing though.

mareahh

So why are you trying to date him?

Chino

You're not friends or family with this substance abuser and you don't want a relationship with him of any kind, you just want him to want you.

Seriously?

nytepassion

Dogluvah,

You have admitted on another thread I believe that you are a love addict. You have an addiction to love. Now with that being said the problem seems to be that you are upset that this man does not want to date you and you are up in arms about it. Your quest is to get him to say he wants to date you and that is what you will be satisfied with. It isn't that you truly care about him, but you can't handle rejection.

Clearly, you need to take this to a therapist if you aren't already. This is not healthy for you or anyone you might date in the future. If you are looking for a man who is whole and has something to bring to the table you can't come empty handed yourself. Broken-ness attracts broken-ness. So the twain shall meet.

If you were in a healthy frame of mind you would be able to realize that it isn't about if he will or will not get in touch with you or not, but whether you find your behavior acceptable. Are you happy with yourself and how you've handled things? Is that the kind of person you want to be? If not .. What can you do today that will put you on a path headed in the direction you want to go?

I don't think the issue is him or what he does or doesn't do. It is you and what you are willing to settle for all in the name of feeling wanted and loved.

Time for a reality check girlfriend. Get it together and become the best you that you can be and the love you seek will find you and it will be real and wonderful.


Passion

Sungrl

Ummmmmmm, a women looking for a healthy relationship?? Who exactly are you referring to?? In order to have and stay in a healthy relationship one must be healthy. You my dear are not at that point. Not even close!!! Sorry

AnvilheadII

dogluvah - this was YOU last nite at 7pm:

Okay, help! What do I do now. I emailed him just now. Apologized for all the names, and said we could start out as friends and see what happens. I told him to call me tonight if he would like to do that.

Okay, what do you guys think of this?


YOU continue to pursue him. YOU continue to make contact. YOU happen to know he's ON a dating site because YOU said you tracked him there. if he isn't what you want, LEAVE HIM ALONE. it's THAT simple. that he WAS addicted has NOTHING to do with the present day and your ongoing issues.

if other eligible men see you....with him....at church. so you are also using CHURCH as a dating site?



i am going to less than gracefully walk away from this....

LoveMeNow

No, I do not think a healthy person would pursue this man. The interesting part is that YOU are and he has actually had to block you from doing so.

What is this saying about you and your behavior???

I hope this is all a sick joke, either way, I am finding this to be very pathetic!!

Please tell us all now how your are not codependent too.