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Are all addicts selfish?

Old 05-28-2013, 08:43 PM
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Are all addicts selfish?

Hi all! Been a while since I posted anything. I've really been struggling in my marriage lately. I'm beginning to wonder about something. Is selfishness a symptom of being an addict? Are all addicts selfish people even when they aren't using or is this an entirely different and separate issue?
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by help4hubby View Post
Is selfishness a symptom of being an addict? Are all addicts selfish people even when they aren't using or is this an entirely different and separate issue?
I think that there are some cart and horse issues here. I don't believe that selfish people are more likely to become addicts but once addiction begins - then yes, generally (just in case of an exception that I can't think of), selfishness is a trait that is common to all addicts. Once in recovery however (not to be confused with abstinance), selfishness subsides and I truly believe that in later stages of recovery, the addict may truly become selfless...even moreso than the general public.

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Old 05-28-2013, 10:05 PM
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Some of the nicest people I have ever met are recovery addicts. But addiction, as a whole, is a very selfish disease.
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Old 05-28-2013, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNow View Post
But addiction, as a whole, is a very selfish disease.
As is codependency.
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Old 05-28-2013, 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
As is codependency.
Yes, very true!

I was pretty shocked at how selfish I truly was when I started looking at many of my behaviors and motives.
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Old 05-28-2013, 10:24 PM
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If you think about it this way. The addict will do whatever it takes to continue to use drugs. The codependent will do whatever it takes to make someone be who they want them to be and not allow them to be who they are. Which side sounds sicker?
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Old 05-28-2013, 11:27 PM
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Originally Posted by help4hubby View Post
Hi all! Been a while since I posted anything. I've really been struggling in my marriage lately. I'm beginning to wonder about something. Is selfishness a symptom of being an addict? Are all addicts selfish people even when they aren't using or is this an entirely different and separate issue?
I think when a person is in active addiction they tend to be selfish because they are always thinking about themselves in how they will maintain appearances, get their drug, use their drug, conceal their drug use. The focus is turned inward in most aspects. But once a person stops using, I think there can also be a transition period because it takes a while to unlearn some of these behaviors, and rebuild relationships where they are in balance again. In time, I think there is a shift back to more of their normal personality; whatever that might be.
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Old 05-29-2013, 12:01 AM
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Originally Posted by legna View Post
I think that there are some cart and horse issues here. I don't believe that selfish people are more likely to become addicts but once addiction begins - then yes, generally (just in case of an exception that I can't think of), selfishness is a trait that is common to all addicts. Once in recovery however (not to be confused with abstinance), selfishness subsides and I truly believe that in later stages of recovery, the addict may truly become selfless...even moreso than the general public.

jmo
I tend to agree.
After all those demanding self gratifying hissy fits, I see light at the end of the tunnel for alcoholics and addicts.
It takes a really long time for some for such as myself.
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Old 05-29-2013, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
As is codependency.
Brilliant!

Applause .. Applause



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Old 05-29-2013, 05:28 PM
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