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Change is so hard!

Old 05-26-2013, 05:56 PM
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Change is so hard!

I'm sooo tired of the lies and manipulations and the broken promises that, sadly, I have to let the man I love go for a while. We've been apart for 4 months and, since he'd rather listen to his dad yell at him than have the woman he says he loves hold him accountable, I've had to make changes:

Instead of the Monday mtg where I might see him....Womens mtg farther away

Instead of Tuesday mtg(again close to home)... AlAnon farther away

Wednesday hes supposed to open a mens mtg so no worry there

Instead of my Thursady mtg where he might show up... Same mtg only AlAnon

Same Friday mtg, screw him, he can sit in the back of the room

We both open Saturday mtg but, if he shows up, which I doubt... Ipod and Bible for me.

Sunday... Day of rest for me.

I hate having to make these changes, since I've been going to my mtgs for the 5 yrs of my sobriety but I know I'll get nothing out of them if I know he's there and I keep trying to save him. If he wants to get sober, there are plenty of guys to help him. Plus, let HIM wonder where I am, for once! And, since 4 months hasn't changed him, maybe 8 months will change me! God willing.
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Old 05-26-2013, 07:43 PM
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It must be very hard for you, Terry, and I think you are wise to find meetings where you can focus on your own recovery.

Change is hard, letting go is hard, but the more we work on our own recovery the better balance we find and the stronger we grow.

Hugs
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Old 05-26-2013, 08:51 PM
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The serenity prayer says "the courage to change the things I can" because it is very hard to change.

Have courage. Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:27 AM
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going to different meetings might not be bad. The first set got you the first five years, but it sounds like you are at a different place now anyway--moving on. Maybe it will even turn out best because you will get to hear some new voices?

looking for the positive.
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Old 05-27-2013, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by sevenofnine View Post
Maybe it will even turn out best because you will get to hear some new voices?

looking for the positive.
You're right on hearing some new voices but I'm resentful that I've cultivated these relationships and now I have to give them up. That and the meetings I go to are close to home, making it easier to get to while I go to school. Ah well. I'd rather be happy, joyous and free again than have a full tank of gas. :-)
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