Self Love
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Self Love
Thursday, May 16, 2013
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Self Love
"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?
The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.
But what a valuable venture!
By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.
We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.
Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.
We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.
We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.
We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.
We can love other people and let them love us.
People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.
Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Self Love
"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?
The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.
But what a valuable venture!
By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.
We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.
Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.
We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.
We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.
We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.
We can love other people and let them love us.
People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.
Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
what does self care look like for you?
Im interested because I know everyone is different.
I know sleep is a big one for me, as well as "getting ready" in the morning, although I don't wear makeup. organizing my wardrobe just for fun, painting my toenails.
then there is spiritual self care. Things like turning off the sappy martyr break up songs, and listening to something empowering. Going to Bible study for normies instead of just meetings (meetings are GOOD but the normie study gets D and everything out of my brain and really forces me to only talk about my HP in a much stricter way than coda or CR)
I can make baby clothes for the foster kids. change the things I CAN right?
I confess I only made it to a quick teeth brushing and a ponytail today... but I remember I did these things before when D was gone in rehab. I can do them again.
Im just trying to get my thoughts out here I guess.
thank you for this post LMN
Im interested because I know everyone is different.
I know sleep is a big one for me, as well as "getting ready" in the morning, although I don't wear makeup. organizing my wardrobe just for fun, painting my toenails.
then there is spiritual self care. Things like turning off the sappy martyr break up songs, and listening to something empowering. Going to Bible study for normies instead of just meetings (meetings are GOOD but the normie study gets D and everything out of my brain and really forces me to only talk about my HP in a much stricter way than coda or CR)
I can make baby clothes for the foster kids. change the things I CAN right?
I confess I only made it to a quick teeth brushing and a ponytail today... but I remember I did these things before when D was gone in rehab. I can do them again.
Im just trying to get my thoughts out here I guess.
thank you for this post LMN
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 160
new books, documentaries, radio (yay CBC!) docs, baths, playing with kids, gardening, jogging, baking, peppermint tea... these are a few of my favourite things.
for me, self care became an obvious priority back when I was still a teen, and I did an outward bound wilderness school whitewater trip which included a three day solo.
If any of you have never tried this, I highly recommend it; spending three days away from phones, tv, books, radio, and all distractions, with nothing to do to occupy the mind, and most importantly, no other people there.
I realised around day two that wow, so much of what I do everyday is all wrapped up with other peoples expectations and thoughts. Being forced to just sit and do literally nothing allowed me to connect with myself in a new, strong, and as yet unbreakable way. I realized that no matter who I hang out with, whatever their opinions are, or what society's expectations are, that ultimately the only opinion that matters is mine.
no matter where you go or who you go with, the main relationship in my life will always be with myself. I am always here to talk to myself, to care, to listen, even if no one else is. I am my own most important friend. And although I have faltered at times, this lesson has had incredibly long lasting power to keep me in touch with myself.
I highly recommend that you give it a try- go for 24 hours without contact with anyone and without any distractions but a pen and paper to record your thoughts. It can be really enlightening to hear our own voice when all the others aren't there to interrupt.
for me, self care became an obvious priority back when I was still a teen, and I did an outward bound wilderness school whitewater trip which included a three day solo.
If any of you have never tried this, I highly recommend it; spending three days away from phones, tv, books, radio, and all distractions, with nothing to do to occupy the mind, and most importantly, no other people there.
I realised around day two that wow, so much of what I do everyday is all wrapped up with other peoples expectations and thoughts. Being forced to just sit and do literally nothing allowed me to connect with myself in a new, strong, and as yet unbreakable way. I realized that no matter who I hang out with, whatever their opinions are, or what society's expectations are, that ultimately the only opinion that matters is mine.
no matter where you go or who you go with, the main relationship in my life will always be with myself. I am always here to talk to myself, to care, to listen, even if no one else is. I am my own most important friend. And although I have faltered at times, this lesson has had incredibly long lasting power to keep me in touch with myself.
I highly recommend that you give it a try- go for 24 hours without contact with anyone and without any distractions but a pen and paper to record your thoughts. It can be really enlightening to hear our own voice when all the others aren't there to interrupt.
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