Kinda OT-Miracles DO happen
The sun still shines
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 472
Kinda OT-Miracles DO happen
A school friend of mine contacted me in December after we lost contact for about 35 years. At 54, she is bedridden because of severe arthritis. She is in a lot of constant pain.
I went to visit her in Feb. She lives with her sister and BIL and her daughter lives with her dad. Whilst it was great seeing her again, I saw a very angry person. Whenever she spoke about her sister and BIL (who were away for the weekend), her face would contort in hatred. She thought they were not treating her the way she wanted to be treated and was satisfied with nothing they did. This of course resulted in them spending as little time with her as possible, which made her even more angry.
Whenever she spoke about her XH, there was rage on her face. She didn't think he was raising their daughter right. She was angry at people because they "visited her too much" and "send her to many texts". There was just constant anger.
After leaving that weekend, I couldn't help but wonder how much her rage is contributing to the progression of her illness. I also wondered if the real rage was at her situation and she was just projecting it onto all around her.
In April she visited me for 6 days and man! I realised how hard it is to look after her, how hard it must be for her to be so helpless and how much her sister and BIL really does for her.
Yet the rage inside her continued. Her sister would text her and what looked to me like very loving words, sent her into rage. It got to a point where I couldn't stand seeing her in so much physical and mental pain anymore.
I started talking to her in very straight terms, but honestly, I do not know where the words came from. I told her that she is trying to change all around her and she will never succeed. That if she wants peace, she need to stop expecting other people to change and change her own attitude. I told her that trying to change other people is like trying to get a cat to bark, it will never happen and it is a frustrating and futile journey.
I told her that I suspected people have been treating her with kids gloves because of her illness and that it has resulted in her behaving in very inappropriate ways. I went on and on for about an hour or two. I have NEVER done anything like that with any of my other friends, but I couldn't stop myself. She wasn't angry, she thanked me and said that is not the type of person she wants to be and she has been praying that God would turn her into someone that spreads His light.
When she left, we met her sister halfway. It was the first time I saw her interact with her sister and I was shocked at how nasty and unreasonable my friend was and how loving her sister was.
Now for the miracle:
After a couple of weeks, she emailed me that she has been thinking and praying a lot. She said she then had a wonderful experience: Whilst she was in a lot of pain,. she suddenly experienced that she was not the pain or her body, but that in stead she was a very happy and joyous being, who could look upon her pain from a distance.
Some days later, when I spoke to her on the phone, she said that she had let go of her expectations of people and her believe she has "rights". She said that an enormous peace came upon her and has been with her ever since and that nothing anyone say or does upsets her anymore. I could hear how peaceful she was and it didn;t even sound like the same person.
She said that her sister and BIL are now doing EVERYTHING she ever wanted them to do. In tears she told me with what kindness they are treating her.
I have never experienced a miracle like this in my life. I have never seen a person change from such misery to such peace and joy in such a short period of time. I see the strong hand of God in it all. He made our paths cross again. He knew she was ready and used me as a catalyst to start the change. She was brave enough to look inward very honestly.
It renewed my faith that God could send someone across the path of our addicted loved ones who may just say something to start a change in them. That we truly are not alone in this struggle, but that with the slightest break in armour, He is there to enter through. And that prayers can change anything.
I went to visit her in Feb. She lives with her sister and BIL and her daughter lives with her dad. Whilst it was great seeing her again, I saw a very angry person. Whenever she spoke about her sister and BIL (who were away for the weekend), her face would contort in hatred. She thought they were not treating her the way she wanted to be treated and was satisfied with nothing they did. This of course resulted in them spending as little time with her as possible, which made her even more angry.
Whenever she spoke about her XH, there was rage on her face. She didn't think he was raising their daughter right. She was angry at people because they "visited her too much" and "send her to many texts". There was just constant anger.
After leaving that weekend, I couldn't help but wonder how much her rage is contributing to the progression of her illness. I also wondered if the real rage was at her situation and she was just projecting it onto all around her.
In April she visited me for 6 days and man! I realised how hard it is to look after her, how hard it must be for her to be so helpless and how much her sister and BIL really does for her.
Yet the rage inside her continued. Her sister would text her and what looked to me like very loving words, sent her into rage. It got to a point where I couldn't stand seeing her in so much physical and mental pain anymore.
I started talking to her in very straight terms, but honestly, I do not know where the words came from. I told her that she is trying to change all around her and she will never succeed. That if she wants peace, she need to stop expecting other people to change and change her own attitude. I told her that trying to change other people is like trying to get a cat to bark, it will never happen and it is a frustrating and futile journey.
I told her that I suspected people have been treating her with kids gloves because of her illness and that it has resulted in her behaving in very inappropriate ways. I went on and on for about an hour or two. I have NEVER done anything like that with any of my other friends, but I couldn't stop myself. She wasn't angry, she thanked me and said that is not the type of person she wants to be and she has been praying that God would turn her into someone that spreads His light.
When she left, we met her sister halfway. It was the first time I saw her interact with her sister and I was shocked at how nasty and unreasonable my friend was and how loving her sister was.
Now for the miracle:
After a couple of weeks, she emailed me that she has been thinking and praying a lot. She said she then had a wonderful experience: Whilst she was in a lot of pain,. she suddenly experienced that she was not the pain or her body, but that in stead she was a very happy and joyous being, who could look upon her pain from a distance.
Some days later, when I spoke to her on the phone, she said that she had let go of her expectations of people and her believe she has "rights". She said that an enormous peace came upon her and has been with her ever since and that nothing anyone say or does upsets her anymore. I could hear how peaceful she was and it didn;t even sound like the same person.
She said that her sister and BIL are now doing EVERYTHING she ever wanted them to do. In tears she told me with what kindness they are treating her.
I have never experienced a miracle like this in my life. I have never seen a person change from such misery to such peace and joy in such a short period of time. I see the strong hand of God in it all. He made our paths cross again. He knew she was ready and used me as a catalyst to start the change. She was brave enough to look inward very honestly.
It renewed my faith that God could send someone across the path of our addicted loved ones who may just say something to start a change in them. That we truly are not alone in this struggle, but that with the slightest break in armour, He is there to enter through. And that prayers can change anything.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Wow, great post! Thank you for sharing it. God is good!
I, too, had an awesome God moment this weekend. I hope you do not mind if I share it on your thread.
When I was a kid, we had a lot of kids in my neighborhood, lots of big catholic families. There was a very nice boy that everyone picked on. There wasn't really any reason for it either, not that there ever is.
I don't really remember ever doing anything that mean but I know I always felt bad for not standing up for him. (Not in a codependent way but a "what was right" kind if way.) When I think back, it was almost like a "mob/gang mentality" amongst a large group of kids.
Well I hadn't thought about him in years, when suddenly after praying, my heart felt very convicted. I questioned what I was feeling....was it God talking to me or was a case of feeling bad for something I had done many years ago? Something came along and distracted my thoughts on the subject and I forgot about it.
The next morning, I went on Facebook. I do not go on often and this is not part of my morning activities. Anyway, when I logged on, I had a friend request....it was from HIM.
I accepted his request and sent him a message - thanking him for the request and included a heartfelt apology. He accepted my apology and laughed it off to "kids being kids." He has a beautiful wife, 2 very adorable girls, appears very happy and successful. In fact, he doesn't live too far from me now.
I am thankful God gave me an opportunity to make amends.
I, too, had an awesome God moment this weekend. I hope you do not mind if I share it on your thread.
When I was a kid, we had a lot of kids in my neighborhood, lots of big catholic families. There was a very nice boy that everyone picked on. There wasn't really any reason for it either, not that there ever is.
I don't really remember ever doing anything that mean but I know I always felt bad for not standing up for him. (Not in a codependent way but a "what was right" kind if way.) When I think back, it was almost like a "mob/gang mentality" amongst a large group of kids.
Well I hadn't thought about him in years, when suddenly after praying, my heart felt very convicted. I questioned what I was feeling....was it God talking to me or was a case of feeling bad for something I had done many years ago? Something came along and distracted my thoughts on the subject and I forgot about it.
The next morning, I went on Facebook. I do not go on often and this is not part of my morning activities. Anyway, when I logged on, I had a friend request....it was from HIM.
I accepted his request and sent him a message - thanking him for the request and included a heartfelt apology. He accepted my apology and laughed it off to "kids being kids." He has a beautiful wife, 2 very adorable girls, appears very happy and successful. In fact, he doesn't live too far from me now.
I am thankful God gave me an opportunity to make amends.
The sun still shines
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 472
Oh LMN, that is wonderful! FB really has some good uses. A friend of mine recently found her dad whom she last saw when she was 5. She is now 47. Not only did she get him, but his whole family is so happy to see her again.
I agree, God is good, all of the time.
I agree, God is good, all of the time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 430
Great share, thank you. I felt similarly recently when I finally got the courage to talk to my BFF about the situation my husband and I are going through and how I'm going to Al Anon.
She'd been dating a guy who seemed to have a gambling addiction and through my sharing she realized that she too is co-dependent and has looked up CODA meetings in our area so she can attend.
She also talked with her (now exBF) about her concerns and he has since gone to his first Gambler's Anonymous meeting.
I agree that God uses us as vehicles for His messages -- and I never know why I am going through what I'm going through, but I can always trust that good is coming out of it for all involved as well as those within the ripple effect area. I just may not see it right away. xo
She'd been dating a guy who seemed to have a gambling addiction and through my sharing she realized that she too is co-dependent and has looked up CODA meetings in our area so she can attend.
She also talked with her (now exBF) about her concerns and he has since gone to his first Gambler's Anonymous meeting.
I agree that God uses us as vehicles for His messages -- and I never know why I am going through what I'm going through, but I can always trust that good is coming out of it for all involved as well as those within the ripple effect area. I just may not see it right away. xo
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