Always remember
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Exitville
Posts: 214
Always remember
Forgive me if this sounds harsh but it's a good reminder why we focus on us
"Right now, they(the addict)are out, high, happy, enjoying themselves and not thinking about us. We should not be thinking of them either. Do not waste your thoughts or give where you do not receive. Think about you."
I needed that because I actually used to think when my ex was away he was thinking about me and/or us. Nope. Not at all. Silly me! At least now I "get it" whereas before I was lost as lost could be. Whew. What an education in a short time.
"Right now, they(the addict)are out, high, happy, enjoying themselves and not thinking about us. We should not be thinking of them either. Do not waste your thoughts or give where you do not receive. Think about you."
I needed that because I actually used to think when my ex was away he was thinking about me and/or us. Nope. Not at all. Silly me! At least now I "get it" whereas before I was lost as lost could be. Whew. What an education in a short time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SouthEast
Posts: 159
It's not harsh at all, or maybe it is, but it is the harsh truth. Going thru this addict dance with a husband and now a son I am getting much better at detaching and looking at the situation without rose colored glasses.
I was jumping through hoops for months to help my homeless son finish the semester to get a job after he and girlfriend had ahuge fight and she kicked him out.
It was all a lie, he had already dropped out that semester and they were back together using my money to drink and probably drugs.
It is so sad that people we love treat us that way. I cold harsh fact! At least we wized up, some never do.
(((huggs)))
I was jumping through hoops for months to help my homeless son finish the semester to get a job after he and girlfriend had ahuge fight and she kicked him out.
It was all a lie, he had already dropped out that semester and they were back together using my money to drink and probably drugs.
It is so sad that people we love treat us that way. I cold harsh fact! At least we wized up, some never do.
(((huggs)))
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Acton
Posts: 13
I needed to hear that. I never looked at my BF's addiction that way.
One of the hardest things is putting myself first and letting go.
Thanx for the post.
This is only my third post so I'm just realizing what an amazing place this is for support.
peace,
KAxo
One of the hardest things is putting myself first and letting go.
Thanx for the post.
This is only my third post so I'm just realizing what an amazing place this is for support.
peace,
KAxo
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Exitville
Posts: 214
helpme
it is sad. but we learn. and do our best to avoid it again. going through it can either bring us down or we can find a way for it to lift us up. i'm choosing the up part. i will always be me but this has made me wake up, realize i have to protect my well being much better than i did before and to understand the whole "words vs actions" way, way more clearly than ever before. just because i mean what i say and say what i mean, i'm totally open and honest and those closest to me(for years and years)are, too, i have to pay more attention to things i did not in the past when entering relationships. meeting an addict was new and a whole new ballgame i was not familiar with but now i am. i hope i have a good radar system developing in myself now.
i am sorry you have experienced this and wish you the ability to heal and recover.
it is sad. but we learn. and do our best to avoid it again. going through it can either bring us down or we can find a way for it to lift us up. i'm choosing the up part. i will always be me but this has made me wake up, realize i have to protect my well being much better than i did before and to understand the whole "words vs actions" way, way more clearly than ever before. just because i mean what i say and say what i mean, i'm totally open and honest and those closest to me(for years and years)are, too, i have to pay more attention to things i did not in the past when entering relationships. meeting an addict was new and a whole new ballgame i was not familiar with but now i am. i hope i have a good radar system developing in myself now.
i am sorry you have experienced this and wish you the ability to heal and recover.
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