Evey

Today was my first day at the new job! It went really well. I'm still a little nervous but im eager to learn how to do everything their way. Its keeping my mind off my XABF....but tonight after my shift was over, i got into my car and our song came on and I started to feel sad...I should of changed the radio station but I didnt...I tortured myself listening to the whole song all the way through.....Then i got sad even more because I remembered how SKINNY he looked 3 weeks ago sitting in my car all hurled up....It kills me...

tomorrow will be 1 week no contact from his end or mine....
I feel so strong some days, but other days I feel that knife right in the middle of my heart.

And im so afraid ill run into him in public with a new girl....that will really send me over the edge... :/

Lily1918

A week yay!!! Im only at a few hours. you give me hope. I did the same and turned on and played some piano. stupid of me. but still.
Im glad you like your job!

oooopps

the thing is... he will eventually be with a new girl. She will go through hell. Adjust your mindset. Things wont be easy for them either.

Kick ass and good luck in your new job. Be good to yourself.

gmanriley

A couple months from now you will laugh at the sight of him with another.
I was cheated on and was devastated at the time...looking back now, it was a blessing.

Evey

I know eventually he will find another girl to "leech" onto, but my feelings are still raw, the mere thought of him with someone else makes me want to throw up. I blocked him off my facebook because i know the next *manipulation* tactic is posting pictures of him and other chicks to get to me. Im trying to be good to myself...i went above and beyond this last week and applying to jobs id never thought i was *capable* of working at....and now im working in one of the best fine dining restuarants in my area! i would of never had the courage to actually go through with it......but here i am....i might now know much about fine dining but hell im wingin it and they like me!

Evey

We just need to stay strong!! Told my new job I have OPEN availibilty so they can work me to death...the more im working the less i think about him.

Evey

When he broke up w me he told me the ONE and ONLY thing he did *right* in our relationship was he never cheated on me, but admitted to going out behind my back at nights that he was *supposedly* home.......

Hard BELIEVING he never cheated on me when he has lied so much about everything else......who knows he probably did cheat......and how would he even know? hes so doped up off of pain pills he wouldnt even know if a chick was making out w him or not......sad

Lily1918

oh but they do. cheating is more than just fooling around with another girl. drugs are the most tempting adulteress.

AnvilheadII

hmmm....so you took a sad thing, the break up, and propelled yourself forward into new uncharted territory! you could almost say he did you a favor!

way to go on the new job and the new outlook.

Evey

Thanks Anvil! Trying to turn a negative into a positive! And tonight was my 2nd night training on the job and I'm likin it! Little nervous still but im hangin in there and havent had any complaints yet! I gotta work on my cappucino makin skills though...

I am kinda bummed because since im working now and I gave them a open availibilty for me to work pretty much whenever I miss out on my nar anon meeting that happens on sundays at 8pm :/ i just hope i dont work every sunday night cause I enjoyed the meetings so much....they have one on fridays but i like the group that goes on sunday better....

It will all work out some how. Just happy to be working again and surrounded by healthier people.

Hanna

This reminds me of Chris Rock talking about guys that brag that they pay for their kids. You don't get an award for doing the basic things you are supposed to do in life.

It's like saying I've never robbed a bank. Can I get a pat on the back for that?

peacedove

Never give a "new" girl or "another" girl a second thought, hon. If anything, think this: "Thank God it isn't me." Always remember you once were his girl and what trouble it meant. The trouble doesn't just up and disappear with someone new. Nope, it's there. Just a different person inserted and time has to tell and take it's toll. Same as it did with you. Be happy you are where you are today and where you are going in the future. Up from here!!

Evey

So true. And whose to even know if he did or didnt cheat on me? I dont know what he's doing when Im not around, thats the sad TRUTH and only TRUTH to our relationshit. nope not even relationship. relationshit. :/

Evey

Your right. Thank God its NOT me. I suffered way too much, and for nothing at the end. Hell! Im still suffering now even though its over. Depression still finds a way to get me somehow, but its getting better day by day. Im doing the right things. It's been 1 week and a day NC!

EverHopeful721

"Relationsh*t"....love that. I realize that's exactly what I had with my XA.

Evey

I think everyone on this forum that has been involved in a romantic partnership with their xabf or xagf has deffinitly been in a relationsh*t!

time to be in a relationSHIP with myself.