horriblethisis

So, my hubby has been in recovery (opiates) for the past 10 months. He is 50 years old. He is now coming off Serequol. He was perscribed Serequol to sleep, but used it as a crutch for two years at least.

He stated to me that Serequol was a BIG part of his problem with the way he acted. He says he is not going back to Serequol or anything else ever!
He asked if I would stall the divorce proceedings to see if we can reconcile.
I see that he is changing, and I truly want to believe him, but it is so hard. I am so torn. It is so difficult to get the trust and respect back. I saw him yesterday for lunch and for a quick talk, we hugged when I left, and kissed briefly (but I didn't feel anything with that kiss)...that can't be good.

We had a very strong love for 25 years, but over the last 6 of those years, the trust and respect was lost. I am not sure I will ever get it back. My heart wants to, but my mind doesn't.

Has anyone had experience with someone on Serequol? Also, the next time I see my husband, I was going to give him a home drug test - do they work?

thanks for reading!!

AnvilheadII

home tests are hugely unreliable and even if let's say it showed up dirty, he could just DENY having taken anything....and then where are you? left to either believe him........or not.

the key here is TRUST. you have none. and you can't manufacture it.

just last nite my husband told me about this "outing" he went on with a buddy years ago, they ended up in Oregon at some strip club. I was like WHAT? when the hell did THIS happen? he says it was way back before we bought the house and he's sure he told me? I rocketed to in about 2.4 seconds and wouldn't even speak to him for a bit! over something that happened YEARS ago, water way under the bridge. he was like, wait, THIS is what I get for being honest??? internally I could not discern whether this occurred 8 minutes ago, or 8 years.....I felt...I dunno, insulted, violated, duped? it took me some time to put it all in perspective and separate THEN from NOW. normally we have a very trusting relationship!!! I was rather surprised at my own reaction from some perceived "threat" that I don't even recall happening at the time.

Maylie

Home drugs test usually do their job and if the person has used it will more likely than not come up. However, if it came back positive h will deny it and give you every reason in the book why it is faulty. Whether a drug test would be accurate or not is not the important question is, the more important question is what is the reason for drug testing him? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who you trust so little that you contemplate handing him a drug test when he walks in the door? The fact that you feel the need to drug test him shows you that you do not believe he has changed and that you don't think he is recovery..You don't need a drug test to tell you something you already know.

I do not have any experience and I have never heard anyone speak of someone having extremely negative mood affects with Serequol. Regardless of whether it is common or not however, I find it to be a red flag that he is still blaming a substance for his mistakes. It is the same as the time old excuse of "It was the drugs that made me do it" and honestly the excuse gets very old very quickly. He needs to man up and take responsibility for his past actions and work on making things right now not with words but with actions. He wants you to push back the divorce and blame the problems on a medicine not himself. He def. is not in recovery if he thinks things will fall into place by just stopping the Serequol.

Do what you think is best for you. If you push back the divorce just don't let him talk you into pushing it back time and time again. Waiting an extra month can turn into years going by and you don't want to look back and wonder what happened.

tjp613

My daughter was on 25 mg seroquel for sleep -- it just made her sleepy!

crazybabie

I have been on Seroquel before and it knocked me out and left me with a hungover feeling the next day I was real groggy but not moody or irritable, although medicines are different with everyone. I agree with Maylie, your not a sober living house why drug test?

Trust oh that word I don't know if I can ever trust my AH again and respect well that is also one that is hard to get back.

bluebelle

You might want to Google Serequol. I don't see how that could have been the cause of all his problems. That doesn't sound like personal responsibility to me.

bluebelle

The most important thing is his actions. What he's saying isn't important--what is he doing? Is he actively in recovery? Is he taking personal responsibility?

jerect

My ex hubby was on seraquill.( sp?) he was a walking zombie and did all kinds of weird stuff.. One night he was driving home from a Halloween party and I was a passenger and he was weaving all over the road and he did not have a drop to drink.. I made him pull over and let me drive the rest of the way home..

His dad was a pharmacist and when I told him what my ex was taking he was concerned immediately.. He somehow convinced my ex to stop taking it... My ex was also taking soboxen at the time as well.. I don't know if that had any affect on the way he was acting but when he stopped taking seraquill, the weird behavior stopped... Both were a crutch though for him.. I only saw my ex sober for probably a total of a month out of the five years we were married... I lost so much respect and trust for him that there was no way it was ever coming back..

zoso77

Seroquel is a mood stabilzer and anti-psychotic. It's also used to treat seizures and, at low doses, is a very effective sleeping aid. What I mean by low is on the order of 10-20 mg. Most people on it have a difficult time getting up in the morning because it's very sedating.

It can be very, very difficult coming off something like that because it does build up in your system and the symptoms of withdrawal include agitation, chills, and runny noses.

ZoSo

allforcnm

I dont have any experience with Serequol, but I think it's good your husband is wanting to stop it, if he views it as a problem. I don't see it as blaming the drug for past behaviors, but more identifying a contributing factor. In rehab, my husband was told it was best to eliminate anything in his life that he felt was an unhealthy pattern of behavior, a trigger to past drug use. It sounds like this is similiar to what your husband is trying to do. I think speaks volumes to his efforts of recovery.

I would not do home drug testing, I can understand the need because after an extended period of use, trust is gone. It takes time to rebuild that and effort by both people. Have you considered marriage counseling to help work on these issues?

I actually do know some people who use drug testing as a tool for rebuilding trust, but it is done by mutual agreement as part of a bigger plan, and its all coordinated through a doctor or therapist. Its a lot like an employer doing drug testing. You are not directly involved, there's no awkwardness, he would authorize the provider to contact you if it came back positive. That's it. I understand this concept, because my husband was required to drug test after going back to work. In a way it gives you the feeling of a safety net. I watched his behavior of course, but maybe it took some of the pressure off to know I didnt have to "watch too closely" if you know what I mean. We could focus on other things in our marriage instead.

Pebbles128

Standard drug screenings do not include Seroquel as a drug to be tested for so I wouldn't even bother with the home drug test. I was prescribed Seroquel as a mood stabilizer & a sleep aid. 400 mg each night. I slept like a baby but gained over 60 lbs in 4 years. As soon as I stopped taking that medication...the pounds melted off. I took it only at bedtime & have no experience taking it during the day or abuse of the medication. I can't imagine anyone using it to get high but that's just me.... Also, during the time I was prescribed Seroquel I took 2 job-related drug tests & passed both.