Old 04-25-2013, 07:36 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 180

Another great day with my daugher on vacation. I'm still calm. There's no anger inside me which is different. However, when she went to bed I couldn't help but google adderall addiction and came upon a website which made so many things clear to me. It was a true eye opener because as I was reading stories of those who became addicted to adderall, I read so many similarities to my ex as far as the behaviors, the addiction, the misery, etc. As much as I didn't want to focus my vacation on reading about what I thought was "him" I realize it helped me to understand that it isn't about ME!

The isolation, the mg of Adderall, the come downs, the depression, the rages, the desperation, the forgetting, the halluciantions, the making up of stories, etc. It all makes sense right now.

Do any of you have any experience with your loved ones addicted to Adderall you could share? I mean, at the end before I left for vacation, things seemed so insane that I couldn't figure it out. After reading some of these stories, I get it. My ex actually thought that someone was going to tell him I had sex with a bunch of people (um, ok), went from crying (come down) to completely angry beyone belief (mood changes and aggression) to just saying things that didn't even happen. It was so much insanity.

I'm just glad Im here with my beautiful princess in a calm environment and thank God I finally wised up enough to not let him come with us. He is not safe to be around anyone but I'm just curious if you can shed some light on any experience you've had with Adderall addiction.

I wish you all a peaceful night. Thoughts to all of you from the beach!
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:43 PM
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And I should clarify it went as far as him saying "I hope he didn't meet my daugher" that he loved me too much to ever touch another woman's lips like I did to him (??), I mean this went on in great detail. I could tell so many stories but now it all makes sense!

I should also say that horrible last night I saw him before we were supposed to leave on vacation we went to see my friend's band play. I looked at him. He looked scrawny, his nose was running. I pointed it out. Of course, it was allergies! HAHAHA. I also pointed out the fact that he had been losing a ton of weight and lost all his muscle mass (he used to work out all the time and he's turned into a scrawny mess) and the response was a massive outrage....."just because I've been stressed out lately and losing weight, now I'm a drug addict?!"

No honey, your actions, your past, your behavior, etc has nothing to do with it.

Urgh. I saved his last two voicemail messages on my cell phone for reminders. In the past, I'd have deleted them. This time I'm saving. There is one from Saturday night crying and emotional and one less than 12 hours later angry and attacking me like a maniac.

So so thankful he is not here but have to admit am a little nervous about going back home because I do have some of his belongings that he needs back.

Sorry for being all over the place but that's where my mind is. Again, still just content with not being angry anymore.
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