My baby sister is addicted to pain pills
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Welcome to SR, this is a great place to learn from others, vent, and know you are not alone in the chaos and struggle that comes with addiction and loving an addict.
The first thing that you need to try to come to terms with is that there is NOTHING you can do to help your sister. Literally, there is nothing. Reasoning with her won't work, begging her won't work, yelling won't work, crying won't work, loving her won't work, giving her ultimatums won't work, writing letters won't work, and trying to control her won't work. The only person that can help her is herself and until she is ready the only thing you can do is not sit in the front row and watch her destroy herself.
Although she will always be your baby sister, she is not a child anymore. She is going down a destructive and dangerous road but you need to let her make her own decisions and go down that road if that is what she wants. While you did the right thing by not allowing her to jump out of a moving car, it is time to take a big step back and let her do what she wants. I know you wanted to bring her inside and keep her safe but if she doesn't want to go inside, if she wants to leave, if she wants to disappear, etc. you need to let her do it. It is impossible to control an addict and in many cases trying to control them will put them in more danger (for example forcing her to go inside ended up with her in the hospital. If she wanted to leave and go off to wherever she wanted to go that was her choice, she is not a child that can be told to go to her room and then carried).
It is extremely hard to come to terms with the fact that you cannot reason with an addict. Loved ones want to be able to sit the person down and show them that their live has become unmanageable but that is just not how it works. You have two options, keep her in your life but let her live it how she chooses without trying to control her or to go no contact and wait until she is ready to go seek help and then bring her back into your life.
She is an adult and she has a right to live her life how she wants, even if that means that she is going to use drugs and put her life in danger. Please consider going to some meetings or counseling for yourself. Addiction negatively impacts not only the addict but the family and you will need support for yourself. It is extremely hard to detach and come to terms with it doesn't matter what you think she should do.
The first thing that you need to try to come to terms with is that there is NOTHING you can do to help your sister. Literally, there is nothing. Reasoning with her won't work, begging her won't work, yelling won't work, crying won't work, loving her won't work, giving her ultimatums won't work, writing letters won't work, and trying to control her won't work. The only person that can help her is herself and until she is ready the only thing you can do is not sit in the front row and watch her destroy herself.
Although she will always be your baby sister, she is not a child anymore. She is going down a destructive and dangerous road but you need to let her make her own decisions and go down that road if that is what she wants. While you did the right thing by not allowing her to jump out of a moving car, it is time to take a big step back and let her do what she wants. I know you wanted to bring her inside and keep her safe but if she doesn't want to go inside, if she wants to leave, if she wants to disappear, etc. you need to let her do it. It is impossible to control an addict and in many cases trying to control them will put them in more danger (for example forcing her to go inside ended up with her in the hospital. If she wanted to leave and go off to wherever she wanted to go that was her choice, she is not a child that can be told to go to her room and then carried).
It is extremely hard to come to terms with the fact that you cannot reason with an addict. Loved ones want to be able to sit the person down and show them that their live has become unmanageable but that is just not how it works. You have two options, keep her in your life but let her live it how she chooses without trying to control her or to go no contact and wait until she is ready to go seek help and then bring her back into your life.
She is an adult and she has a right to live her life how she wants, even if that means that she is going to use drugs and put her life in danger. Please consider going to some meetings or counseling for yourself. Addiction negatively impacts not only the addict but the family and you will need support for yourself. It is extremely hard to detach and come to terms with it doesn't matter what you think she should do.
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