Evey

Sitting on my hands to just not text him back. The last text I recieved from him was Monday asking "How are you doing?".....I never replied. Especially after the episode on Sunday....texting me telling me he hopes im OK and that hes goin to bed.....2hours later posting FB pics of him and new friends at a bar....

sigh

I havent cried today so thats a start. Ive been relaxing lately going to the beach and hanging out with some new girlfriends. Applying at a friends work tomorrow too .....

But hes always in the back of my head.....I looked through our pictures today which i SHOULDNT of done....and i just miss our "good times".... :/

"One day at a time"
"Let go and let God"

shinebright7

I miss my husband right now too.

While I don't want to talk to him, I still enjoyed the texts coming for a while bc I knew he was thinking of me.

The texts have stopped which is what he knows I want bc I didn't reply to others. But it is def tempting to send him an I love you or thinking about you text.

(I told him he couldn't live with me anymore on Friday since he was not in recovery)

He is working the steps with a sponsor now. We'll see what happens. But I definitely miss him.

And you're right. One day at a time!

I'm not going to contact him. I know better than to stir the soup right now.

I need to think about me and my steps instead.

Hang in there!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Evey

I know I check my phone all day seeing if I will recieve another text from him......
Its just so hard....
But I dont want to be manipulated anymore by him, because If i respond back he will just mind**** me again and again. Lies, so many freaking lies......I love him so much this is not an easy thing to get over.....Every night i have nightmares....

I just need to get through this and i want him to get through his addiction and live a happy life. I still worry about him every night and it fustrates me....the person I love so much just killing himself a slow and relentless death and his "new friends" dont know his past or anything and could give two s****s if hes alive or dead.

Im crying now....damnit.....i didnt cry at all today and now I am. =/
I hate this pain in the middle of chest...I just want to be normal again.

shinebright7

Sorry it's so painful right now, Hun. ((Hug))

I hope you can get some sleep tonight and dream about being on the beach with your friends, instead of having nightmares. Beach time sounds soooo nice.

I used to live by the beach -- 12 min bike ride! Now I live in the Midwest. And don't have a bike anymore either. Doh!

I've been talking to myself in the car lately tho about getting a bike this year. So I can ride around and go to...*not* the beach. Haha

Seriously though -- no contact is hard I know. But it's worth it. We need to give ourselves space and mental energy to take care of ourselves instead of spending it on something we can not change...THEM!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

pianogirl1193

Oh man your post reminds me so much of myself when I was early in my breakup with my EXABF. I was constantly wanting to text him, wondering if he was thinking about me/missing me, if he would text or email me, what he/I would say... So much pointless thinking! After about a month I really broke almost all contact with him. He might have occasionally emailed me but I would either delete it or send a one or two word response. Not much. Anyway it gets soooooooo much easier! I also had issues seeing stuff on his FB out partying, with other girls, etc. I definitely blocked him and that helped tremendously. It doesn't mean you are mad at him or being mean or anything... It simply means that you know it's not good for you and you're going to take care of yourself! Anyway seriously hang in there. At this point i still miss my ex a lot but i definitely dont think about him like i did in the beginning! I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is horrible. We really do go through withdrawal from our addicts! But just like it gets easier for recovering addicts the longer they go without using, it gets easier for us the longer we go without contact. Resist the urge!!!!

kelleyt

I'm going through it 2 I can't stand myself for thinking about him and wanting him to call or text it's sad!! This is the worst feeling in the world I only mad it like one day he called and I did not answer the first couple of times then I broke down and talked to him and I just feel worse it has to stop !! Mine is living in a sober house but I don't know if he is clean or not !