walker328

His sister had invited me to a fancy Mother's Day dinner for their mom - I emailed her to tell her I wouldn't be there and told her exactly why.
I am not interested in helping my ex keep his addiction a secret from his family, I feel like helping him be secretive is not doing him any favors. If he's gonna get help from his very supportive and loving family then they need to know he NEEDS help. He's pulled the wool over their eyes for so long. He's had addiction problems his whole life says his sister, and she also said their parents have given him every imaginable opportunity to clean himself up and he has always blown them off. She said their parents will be devastated to hear this and that makes me feel bad but... I couldn't keep it from her.
I don't intend to follow up - I am done. He is their problem now. They can do what that want with the info. He's 45 and lives in his parents basement, I guess I'm hoping they confront him about it. They've enabled him for so long though - his mom will never put him out of the house. They are close; he's very respectful of his mom, and he's incredibly close with his dad - like best friends.
I was close to his family. They really liked me and vice versa. They were so happy that J had finally found a nice GF. His sister said I'm the first normal girl he's dated - and there hasn't been many. He was single for 20 years.
I know he'll be angry at me but I really don't care. Fortunately he's not a violent guy so I have nothing to be worried about. I just hope I did the right thing and he does get some help.

coraltint

I think it was good to tell them why you're not coming & why you are detaching from their brother/son. Also good that you feel you're "done".....you don't need to convince anyone about the problems his addiction has caused.

It's sad, but sounds like the right thing. God bless.