It hurts so badly to love a crackhead
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My friend was married to a wonderful man who thought he was invincible. He decided to "try crack" with a coworker and it stole his soul. He was in and out of rehabs, interventions, NA, SMART, I think he tried everything including "finding God." The longest he ever stayed clean was 2 yrs before he would be pulled back in. Crack had such a strong hold over him. It's one powerful drug, no matter who you are.
After years of "standing by her man" and being supportive, my friend finally left him and filed for divorce. Her 20 year old son is now experiencing severe panic attracts and just had to withdraw from college. His therapist believes this is the result of living with a crack addict. Of course, my friend is beyond guilt ridden by her choices to support her man and not move out much sooner. She is lucky because her son holds no resentments towards her and they are very, very close. He, too, loved his father very much and didn't want to leave. Today, they can't imagine how they lived liked that.
Sadly, he is still using and has no relationship with his only child, his son....the biggest "supporter" of his on again, off again recovery. It's been 2 yrs since they moved out and he still has no idea where they moved to because he is so lost in his addiction.
After years of "standing by her man" and being supportive, my friend finally left him and filed for divorce. Her 20 year old son is now experiencing severe panic attracts and just had to withdraw from college. His therapist believes this is the result of living with a crack addict. Of course, my friend is beyond guilt ridden by her choices to support her man and not move out much sooner. She is lucky because her son holds no resentments towards her and they are very, very close. He, too, loved his father very much and didn't want to leave. Today, they can't imagine how they lived liked that.
Sadly, he is still using and has no relationship with his only child, his son....the biggest "supporter" of his on again, off again recovery. It's been 2 yrs since they moved out and he still has no idea where they moved to because he is so lost in his addiction.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Just like some addicts can't seem to ever give up their DOC...even for their kids...some codependents suffer the same intensity of "connection" and kids suffer as a result. I hope you can break away from the madness! XO
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: columbus
Posts: 42
Thanks everyone. He has been so mean with me the past few days. He called me a lazy fat bitch repeatedly ( I give it back trust me) but I can't be verbally and emotionally abused anymore. I can't have my baby daughter in the middle of screaming matches. He just uses me and admitted to me that he will just find another "bitch" to use. I said does that make you feel like a man? Then he got up on my face like he was going to hit me. It hurts but in getting to the pissed off point. He does all these things and then just expects me to hand him over money, let him use my car, my phone. What the hell goes through a crackheads mind? I deserve better. My kids definitely deserve better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
Originally Posted by aef0920 
Thanks everyone. He has been so mean with me the past few days. He called me a lazy fat bitch repeatedly ( I give it back trust me) but I can't be verbally and emotionally abused anymore. I can't have my baby daughter in the middle of screaming matches. He just uses me and admitted to me that he will just find another "bitch" to use. I said does that make you feel like a man? Then he got up on my face like he was going to hit me. It hurts but in getting to the pissed off point. He does all these things and then just expects me to hand him over money, let him use my car, my phone. What the hell goes through a crackheads mind? I deserve better. My kids definitely deserve better.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
You do deserve better. I'm worried about you and your children.
My ex threatened to kill me or have me killed if I got in the way of his crack.
I called the cops, he ran away because of a warrant.
Crack heads are so unpredictable and that is what makes them so very dangerous.
No need to argue with crack, you will not get through and you will end up with a headache (at the very least.)
Beth
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 261
Me too, please do not "give it back" when he is angry and cracked up, bad things happen, or have happened to me.
My ex threatened to kill me or have me killed if I got in the way of his crack.
I called the cops, he ran away because of a warrant.
Crack heads are so unpredictable and that is what makes them so very dangerous.
My ex threatened to kill me or have me killed if I got in the way of his crack.
I called the cops, he ran away because of a warrant.
Crack heads are so unpredictable and that is what makes them so very dangerous.
I have seen him break 4-5 cell phones in a complete rage. Just a couple of weeks ago, he threatened to sell all of my possessions because I wouldn't let him borrow some money. The following day, he sold our GPS (it was a Christmas gift from his mother) to the dope man for $40 and told me that he did it to spite me because I wouldn't let him borrow the money
If I don't agree to do what he wants, he becomes angry. He always tries to manipulate the situation so that I am the person who is in the wrong. He uses his addiction as a crutch. "I don't want to live this way, can't you see that I'm doing my best," etc. If he does something around the house, he expects praise for it.
Get the hell away from this guy and move fast.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Originally Posted by aef0920
I am going to see if my mom can let us move in at least for a few months. We will be getting evicted soon anyway..
Your Mom is YOUR Mom. I guarantee she doesn't want "US" to move in.
She wants to protect HER CHILD. I'm pretty sure crack addicts have
THEIR OWN Mothers...........
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: orlando florida
Posts: 120
Aef0920....good morning! I just read some of ur one post stating"its hard because we have a daughter together" BUT this should make it easier to see what to do!!! U are entwined too tightly too come untied but slowly u can do it!! I read a bit more on how he treats u, the mean things he says and how he stole from ur child/u....and how he threatened to hurt u...HE SHOULDN'T get the chance to make that threat come true sweetie!! U shouldn't give him that chance after what he's put u thru! Please demand peace for ur heart, mind and soul, let alone ur children....hugs for u!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I realize I'm late to this thread.
Where does it say that you have to stay with the "crackhead"? Just because we love someone doesn't mean we're under any obligation to stay with them when they choose to turn to and use drugs. You're not powerless, you know. You can choose to leave.
ZoSo
Where does it say that you have to stay with the "crackhead"? Just because we love someone doesn't mean we're under any obligation to stay with them when they choose to turn to and use drugs. You're not powerless, you know. You can choose to leave.
ZoSo
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