dreamer26

My drug addicted fiancé has been in rehab (not detox) since April 8th. He is 16 days sober.. And is coming home tomorrow. Instead of being negative about the short time of a week in rehab I am going to try and be supportive and encouraging. I want him to feel like he can do it.. But am going to remain firm that if he uses he goes right back to rehab or gets out of the house. He has said he wants to do an outpatient program near home so I'm hoping he does. What do you all think? I also am feeling upset because the house is a mess and I've been so physically sick this week and depressed that I just couldn't finish cleaning. I couldn't breath.. I have some chest cough going on,. I tried.. Got one room down. Set my alarm for 5am so I can finish and leave the house at 7 for the 2.5 hour drive to pick him up and be home before our daughters 6th birthday party at 2pm. I have so much to do.. How do I prepare for his return? Does the house have to be perfect? I hope not.

Ann

Awww, dreamer, just relax and enjoy the day. Your house doesn't have to be perfect, you don't have to be perfect. Just embrace the day and let the other "stuff" be. Hope you are feeling better too.

Hugs

FeelingGreat

Relax Dreamer. Leave some of it for him to do when he gets home.

I will say that in my case panic cleaning is far more efficient than when I have heaps of time. When my kids were at home we used to declare a 'panic cleanup' and I swear got more done in 10 minute than we could have in an hour otherwise. Amazing how the adrenaline helps!
As for a 6yo birthday party. Now that IS a serious crisis! Good luck with that, and I hope your AF is able to continue with his recovery.

dreamer26

Thanks! I feel better after reading your reply! I just don't want him to think I've been sitting around while he was gone.. I have also been going to college! Ahhh this has been a tough week for me.. He sounds so positive on the phone though!

dreamer26

Thanks! I feel better! I just let myself get all worked up! I had to use a nebulizer to breath because I was moving furniture haha.. I'm nervous about his homecoming because now is when the real work begins! I know about panic cleaning.. Haha sometimes I set the timer on my stove for each room.. So I feel rushed.. But tonight I was so sick! Ahh oh well.. I'm getting up early.. He called me tonight and requested I bring our daughter to pick him up so he can show her off and he said "I wanna show you off too".. It made me smile..

bluebelle

I think your priority should be your health. If you need to take it easy, do that!

dreamer26

Yes your right.. I have just felt knocked down for so long.. I'm so stressed I ended up with shingles at 26 years old..a few weeks ago.. I just have so many fears swirling around in my head..I definitely can't wait till Monday so I can make an appointment with a therapist who specializes in this stuff..

cynical one

You're sick. Instead of dragging yourself and a 6 year old out of bed before the sun comes up, cant anyone else pick him up?

dreamer26

Nope.. And honestly I wouldnt want it any other way. Well except the sick part!

allforcnm

I think you have a very good attitude Dreamer. Your husband volunatarily checked into rehab, and now he has made the decision to leave. But you know what 16 days is a good start. If you read over on substance abuse forum, they are very proud of getting to day 16. Hopefully now he will do the next right thing and try outpatient.

He is going to be happy to see you, and wont be worried about the house I can almost guarantee. Hope you have a good day tomorrow & can all enjoy the birthday party together.

LoveMeNow

As it is often said here, the addict doesn't get to be number one! I agree!

Have a safe trip!

dreamer26

Thank you for your positive feedback! 16 days is the longest he's ever gone without using anything since active addiction! He went a month without opiates before but still drank

Lily1918

I remember when I used to feel this way. when my bf left rehab early I made him take the bus and sleep on the back porch. He had been there 90 days.

just sayin. Picking him up didn't work for me the first time. I hope it does for you.

hugs. just try to enjoy the time you are given. cherish every moment.