cynical one

Take addiction or the use of drugs and/or alcohol out of it.

It appears as if there had been prior plans of you spending the night with him and sometime after midnight he went to get smokes and was gone for 2 hours for whatever reason.

Is this behavior acceptable to you or not?

What safety nets can you put in place to keep yourself from experiencing this again?

What part of your program was lacking that you immediately allowed yourself to go to the dark side and think relapse?

You don't need to answer, just things to think about.

blackandblue

Hey Lily- I found it so hard to detach while living with an addict. How do you take care of you while always waiting for the other shoe to drop? I am projecting with that question. I had no time for me because I was so busy obsessing about his every move. I acted insane and for 3 years I handed my life and my will over to the power of my AXBF. And wow, did I look like a puppet on a string. I have recently surrounded myself with so many positive people that it is shifting my focus to inspiration, creativity, and productivity along with continued healing and self-discovery. Just ask yourself what you want for your life and keep praying and from your post- it sounds like you want freedom from his addiction. That's all I got girl- ESH.

Lily1918

these types of posts are exactly why I missed you when you are away. THANK YOU!

no. it is not acceptable.

what part of my program was missing that I thought relapse... hmmm Im not sure. can you offer some guidance here please?

a safety net. good thought provoking question as well.
this is a codie slip up of mine isn't it? hmmm...

Lily1918

oh thank you for your ESH. I was totally in that spot before he went to rehab. That's why I have kept my apartment as my safe place. He doesn't come here. I only go there. That way I feel safe and have a place to escape him always. Hes gonna need a lot more sober time before I will let go of having my own place apart from him as my sanctuary.

cynical one

Lily,

I can't remember if you have a sponsor or not, but maybe reread The Promises, and go back over the Step 3 work you've done.

And no, I'm not going to give you the answer...do the work. <beg>

Lily1918

ok. done deal

divinespark

Hi! I am new. Enjoyed your post Lily. My boyfriend whose DOC had been H, dilaudid, any opiate or pain pill he can shoot....he says he's been clean since we've been together. If I test him and actually watch him pee in the cup...will that work? Is he clean? If it says "opiates" does that not cover H, oxy, dilaudid, etc? Since they are all opiates? Is the test from Walmart for $19.99 just as good as any others? Which one should I order? Will it be accurate? I need a test that I can trust so that I can trust him. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.

Lily1918

thank you for your post. welcome. there is so much information here. Im sorry about your bf. opiates are nasty business they are. Im pretty sure that Black is an opiate, and many pills are opiod, synthetic vs. organic. IMHO its all heroin. stupid opium poppies! and they are such beautiful flowers too.

In my experience there is no way to really tell with a drug test. I used to go jogging in the summer in winter clothes and sweat out pot in one day. There's fake pee and at home detox drinks. Niacin pills... all kinds of stuff.

I realized that I don't trust my BF because if I did I would have just assumed he was walking around walmart. I feel like if I really trusted him there would be no test.

stick around dear and keep posting! it really helps.



Im not sure where to get good drug tests from, unfortunately.