How will I know?
 

Hello All,

Last August, shortly after we were married, I found a crackpipe in my new husbands possession. He claimed it belonged to someone else and then I found more evidence that indicated otherwise. To make a long story short, he promised that that was the only time he had used and also indicated that this was the last time, he didn't even like it, he hated it.
I recently discovered that he is has used again, he again swears that it was only once, but there are thousands of dollars gone in 4 days, things in hock and it just doesn't add up to a one time deal. This was 6 days ago. I told him he couldn't come back home. I'm scared of his unpredictable temper and what he will say and so in front of the children. He seems to really want to get better, but insists on going back to get his handgun out of hock. Staying away from pawn shops was one of the agreements, if I were to even speak to him again. By the way, drug dealers and users hang out at pawn shops and that's how they operate and meet each other. I can't run the risk of any more drama in our home. He promised 8 months ago as here we are again. I'm not sure if I am strong enough to see him through to recovery, just to cycle back again. At what point do I no longer honor the for better or for worse part of our vows. I'm really tired. He no longer has a job and I have to pay all of the bills. It's been really peaceful without him in the house and without him there I feel like I do t have to worry about what he is doing. Please help!

At what point do I no longer honor the for better or for worse part of our vows?


IMO, when he put the crack pipe to his mouth and lit it!! The rest is between you and God. The bible states if an unsaved man walks away, let him go.

sorry, but it wasn't someone else's and it wasn't just once, you have a full time full on crack addict on your hands. in your life, in your bank account and around your children.

GOOD FOR YOU for not letting him come home. if you haven't already, rescue the funds, either cancel his cards or close accounts to which he has access. thousands of dollars in 4 days CAN get worse.

i am SO SO sorry. you and your children are in my thoughts. stay safe. do what is best FOR THEM. and you! your H is an adult and if he was such a badass to get all messed on crack, he can badass it right into recovery too. i doubt sincerely that is what is on his mind at this point tho.

A recovering crack addict here. All I cared about, when I was using was GETTING MORE!!

When will you know for sure? When his actions speak louder than his words. Crack has a lot of signals...disappearing for a time, money missing, items of value (or even NOT of much value) missing, etc.

I'm glad you are looking after you and your kids. None of you deserve what he is doing to you. I found recovery, the two bf's I used crack with didn't.

Please take care of you and the kids, and remember..actions speak way louder than any words.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Crackheads, guns, and children= a lethal trifecta.

I would make a plan to get and stay safe.

Now's about a good time.

The only vow your AH is honoring is to his pipe. And as long as that's the case, don't expect him to honor his commitment to you or your children.

Based on what? His words? How many lies have you caught him in to date? The only thing that matters is his actions and behavior, and you based on those, you've got a clear picture of what he's currently all about.

Protect yourself, protect your children. I would go as far as to change the locks on the doors at this point. Prepare for the worst, and then prepare some more.

Keep us posted.

ZoSo