Well its been one week since i through my heroin addict boyfriend out.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Hartlepool
Posts: 9
Well its been one week since i through my heroin addict boyfriend out.
Well today it has been a week since i through my ha bf out and its been such a tuff week. On wednesday he had to go the clinic to get his new meth script i asked if he would like me to go with him and at first he said yes but i could c in his eyes he didnt care weather i went with him or not he just said he will only get put up a few mil on meth and and he wont change over night so i decided not to go and have no contact with him its abit hard when we have a 8 month old daughter together. Anyway since wednesday we have had no contact what so ever in away this makes me angry but in another way i dont want to here from him becasuse im scared of him phoneing becasue soon as i here his voice ill want to crumble but i have gone to far to let him back last night was hard i really strugled but woke up this morning and felt brand new but i know he will phone eventully and i just dont no how to play this im really missing him x x x
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I see your new to us. Welcome to the Board.
When there are children in the "line of fire", a good rule of thumb is to always protect them first, which is what you did by throwing out your ABF. No one ever said or claimed that doing the right thing is easy. It is, more often than not, hard. And it's also understandable that you miss your ABF. When we have to remove those we love from our lives, it's supposed to be tough. But I would remind you that the reasons that you did what you did by tossing him out are just, valid, and correct.
And while riding out the storm is going to have its highs and lows, you'll be OK. Just keep doing the right things, like sharing with us. Be safe.
ZoSo
When there are children in the "line of fire", a good rule of thumb is to always protect them first, which is what you did by throwing out your ABF. No one ever said or claimed that doing the right thing is easy. It is, more often than not, hard. And it's also understandable that you miss your ABF. When we have to remove those we love from our lives, it's supposed to be tough. But I would remind you that the reasons that you did what you did by tossing him out are just, valid, and correct.
And while riding out the storm is going to have its highs and lows, you'll be OK. Just keep doing the right things, like sharing with us. Be safe.
ZoSo
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Hi there
Welcome to SR......I hope you find comfort here with others who understand what it's like to love an addict.
I'm glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and your child. Addiction is a crazy disease and it impacts everyone around it. Putting your child first is what is truly important.
I hope you stick around and post your thoughts and questions. There is a lot of collective wisdom here on SR. We'll walk with you. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
Welcome to SR......I hope you find comfort here with others who understand what it's like to love an addict.
I'm glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and your child. Addiction is a crazy disease and it impacts everyone around it. Putting your child first is what is truly important.
I hope you stick around and post your thoughts and questions. There is a lot of collective wisdom here on SR. We'll walk with you. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Welcome to SR, lots of people here who understand exactly what you are going through.
How strong and courageous you were in placing him out of you and you’re baby’s life right now.
It’s so hard to see things when you are right there in the middle of the picture with everything so blurry and confusing. After you’ve stepped back for it for a while you see things you were unable to see before.
Use this time to reflect on YOU and the person YOU want to be. The kind of life YOU want to have and the kind of things that will no longer be tolerable.
It helps to write down all the hurtful and painful things he has said and done to you, so when you go to that missing him leaning towards bringing him back place. Pull out your notes and read it and if you have to read it over and over and over then do that. Put a note on your phone….DO NOT CALL THE ADDICT. Do what ever YOU need to do to keep the focus on YOU. Because he’s going to do what he’s going to do and there is nothing you can say or do to stop him, to change him, to make him do anything he’s not made his own mind up to do for himself. He can’t get clean for you, he can’t get clean for your baby….he’s got to do it because HE wants to.
Keep posting, it’s far less painful to post and vent here then it is to pick up that phone and invite “crazy” back into your life right now.
How strong and courageous you were in placing him out of you and you’re baby’s life right now.
It’s so hard to see things when you are right there in the middle of the picture with everything so blurry and confusing. After you’ve stepped back for it for a while you see things you were unable to see before.
Use this time to reflect on YOU and the person YOU want to be. The kind of life YOU want to have and the kind of things that will no longer be tolerable.
It helps to write down all the hurtful and painful things he has said and done to you, so when you go to that missing him leaning towards bringing him back place. Pull out your notes and read it and if you have to read it over and over and over then do that. Put a note on your phone….DO NOT CALL THE ADDICT. Do what ever YOU need to do to keep the focus on YOU. Because he’s going to do what he’s going to do and there is nothing you can say or do to stop him, to change him, to make him do anything he’s not made his own mind up to do for himself. He can’t get clean for you, he can’t get clean for your baby….he’s got to do it because HE wants to.
Keep posting, it’s far less painful to post and vent here then it is to pick up that phone and invite “crazy” back into your life right now.
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