Lily1918

First, I have to identify my fear

1. Fear that my son will never be independent, and that at some point he will plateau in his development.

2. Fear that RABF being in recovery has merely put a band aid on my codependency

3. Fear of said bf relapsing and me losing him because I will have to block and walk

4. Fear of relapsing myself into weed instead of staying the course

5. Fear that in the event of bfs relapse, I will not be strong and block and walk and will fall back into the pit of codependency.

How do I work through this? Well, these words are helping me let go.

"Even If" ~ Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who you are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who you are
And we trust in who you are

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God
You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing ....
Even if the healing doesn’t come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God
You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing ...
Even if the healing doesn’t come

You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise

Even if the healing doesn’t come

I give up. I surrender. Im done living in fear. Trying to crawl out of it, inch by inch.

Ann

Lily, I lived in the darkness of fear for years. One day my sponsor asked me to write down even one good thing my fear ever did for me, or one thing that being fearful ever changed. It was a huge force in my life, eating me alive, but I could not think of one thing to write.

The antidote to fear is faith. You cannot live in both at the same time.

I found my faith and today I hang on to it as my lifeline. It's more than words, it's a deep belief in my heart that God's got this all covered and that He can do for my son and for me, what we cannot do for ourselves.

Prayers and meditation are part of my daily recovery practices. I begin each day, giving my son's care to God and asking for strength to make it through the day no matter what and I end each day with a prayer to say "Thank You".

"Even If" is a wonderful poem to read this morning, a reminder that we are never alone in our troubles. Thank you for sharing that.

Hugs

Kindeyes

Conquering my fears was really difficult. I was raised in an environment of fear. I lived in fear of everything. You're doing a great job of identifying your fears....that's the first step in conquering them. Fear, in nature, should be a fleeting thing.....not a constant......to trigger the fight or flight response.

I agree with Ann. Letting go of that which we do not control and handing it over to a power greater than ourselves is what worked for me. Faith.

You're doing ok Lily. You're working through it. It's a process.

gentle hugs
ke