Reed30

@Marshmallow
I don't think anyone is trying to judge your husbands character But it is not healthy/normal to use drugs/alcohol to handle any issues that come our way. Period.

But we cant excuse any behavior because of one's addiction. I recently found out my brother had cancer, early stage, very treatable. I am able to process the feelings and stress of this horrible thing w/out any drugs/alcohol. That is the difference between me a 'healthy' person and an addict. They can't process things...even when they stop using, its a struggle. Your husband chose to use drugs, he chose to drink again, you cant say the addiction made him. Thats my opinion.

The deep seeded issues they have plus this chemical imbalance in the brain makes them more prone to addictive behavior. But still at the end of the day with addiction, there is choice involved, which does in a way reflect ones character. My EXABF hid his drug use and addiction from me the whole time we were together. Did I love him..absolutely..he had many great characteristics. but at the same time he LIED so much! manipulated me! said mean things etc. its taking me months to accept this..but that is who he is too!! He made ALL those choices. so, yes one could judge him and his character if they wish.

AnvilheadII

that was really nicely said Reed!

horriblethisis

Seriously? Talk about hijacking a post! Thanks to those who answered my original post...

Reed30

Well, I did respond to your original post

But also felt the need to comment on someone else's remarks. As long as ppl are benefiting from the thread regardless of how it started or where it ends, it's a win-win.