iztal7776

Ugh, how can one week seem like an infinity. I guess that's life with addiction. So my ex has become so hateful towards me. Of course he keeps blaming me for all his problems right now and his mom has gotten on the bandwagon. Mom, dad, son-meth users. So he asked for the rest of his stuff back yesterday. I told him to make me a list and I would send it over. Of course that wasn't good enough, he shouted something about me being a liar, again..my sister was there and so we left the house(he's my next door neighbor) well lo and behold, this morning, he had jumped over my fence and taken his stuff out of my back shed/yard!!! So I told him that he had no right to do this but he tried to lie and I just told him to stop. He must've forgotten he had given me a list. So I told him he was not allowed anywhere on my property and the argument over me being a liar and betraying him and stabbing him in the back started again. I hate that I cannot get thru to him. I hate that he can't see rhyme or reason. I hate that he thinks that using meth isn't that big of a deal. So after I got all his stuff out and he took it, he asked to see the baby. I told him not til he was clean. He flipped out. He is clean right now ( hasn't slept for 24 hours and is in zombie mode). He tells me he will see me in court. I'm a bitch. Oh and that the way I work is if I can't have him, no one can. HELLO! I let you go. I told you to get out. I am so frustrated. I can see now that I still let him and what he thinks affect my emotions. I was fine yesterday..but now I am scared. All the stuff he has said and done, I wasn't expecting..and the fact that he/they see this as normal makes me even more scared. What about my daughter, how can I protect her once we go to court and he has visitation. I am scared. He is so up and down..but just the blame..all of this over a ticket!!!! that I told him all about!!!! I am going to call the court because I have a sneaky suspicion that it might be more lies.. " U havent changed u were always the same and i never knew that person tell i met her yesterday..u made me feal so bad for that one lie i was keeping from u for so long but now i came to find out u had lies every single day of my life with u...... So know that we alll know that, u wanted to make me suffer in a filthy jail cell after i was doing every thing i can for u and the kids.... To make every thing right to have a better life for are family and us to have a great marrige and that 1 and only love that no 1 els has in this world.... I hope u got wat u wanted out of alll this... And if it is what u wanted was for me to feel the worst pain i ever had felt other thin watching my own brother die in my arms u did and now i realy have nothing to live for..... Im about to go turn myself in after i eat something good and smoke a cigg i dont know how long thay will keep me.... But i figuerd its the right thing to do.... I just wanted to let u know before i go because your ignoring my phone calls is that i trusted u, believed u, and loved u with all my heart and i was just finding out what all that meant...."' then later that day "Remember this night. I do. thats when i knew theres some one really here in this ****** up world that loves and cares about me like i thougth u did. Now u see y i look at the world and think about it like i do....... what ever u think should happen next. We still need to talk about whats gona happen with my little girl. Maybe you'll come around when u think to yourself what u did wasn't that bad" and next day "'Its ok that you dont want to talk i would be embarrased too if i tried to get my love locked up for nothing. I helped you all i can, did more then any other man would for some one that dont love them and quit saying love because u dont know the meaning... Ill see u at home ok"" Of course me going home was the beginning of this post. I am so tired. I am sooo tired.

AnvilheadII

i'd call the cops for trespassing, move far away and get an attorney.

iztal7776

I didn't call the cops but I will if he continues. I put a lock on the gate and on my shed. I don't care about the stuff, it's the invasion of privacy. And I am looking for new home. Got those wheels going last weekend. and as far as the attorney, I am going to see if it's a bluff or not. Right now he has absolutely no rights over her. He isn't on the birth certificate so it's not like he can just come and go as he pleases.

Freedom1990

Please, please do everything possible to keep you and that precious baby safe. I've lived that hell.

Meth was my drug of choice, and my EXAH's. I had nightmares for years after I left him. He was violent more often than not.

I hope you continue to post, and give that sweet baby a kiss for me. Sending you hugs of support!

iztal7776

She's my rock right now. And as much as I feel like a bitch for telling him he can see her til he is clean, I know it's the right choice. How does he not see that too? I love her and I want a better life for her. A drug-free one.