Ann

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It
does not imply judgement or condemnation
of the person or situation from which we are
detaching.

Separating ourselves from the
adverse effects of another person’s alcoholism
can be a means of detaching: this does
not necessarily require physical separation.
Detachment can help us look at our situations
realistically and objectively.

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living
with the effects of someone else’s drinking
is too devastating for most people to bear
without help.

In Al-Anon we learn nothing we say or do
can cause or stop someone else’s drinking.
We are not responsible for another person’s
disease or recovery from it.

Detachment allows us to let go of our
obsession with another’s behavior and begin
to lead happier and more manageable lives,
lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by
a Power greater than ourselves. We can still
love the person without liking the behavior

IN AL-ANON WE LEARN:

• Not to suffer because of the actions or
reactions of other people

• Not to allow ourselves to be used or
abused by others in the interest of
another’s recovery

• Not to do for others what they can do
for themselves

• Not to manipulate situations so others
will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not
drink, or behave as we see fit

• Not to cover up for another’s mistakes
or misdeeds

• Not to create a crisis

• Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural
course of events

DETACHMENT
By learning to focus on ourselves, our
attitudes and well-being improve. We allow
the alcoholics in our lives to experience the
consequences of their own actions.

From Alanon Leaflet on Detachment