dasiydoc

Where to start. I posted before about my boyfriend admitting to me after “cuddly time” that he had slipped up with cocaine earlier in the day. Twice he did this. At first I found it frustrating that if he was going to confess this, then why wait until the next morning. Now I realize it took until the next morning for the full effects of the drug to wear off and his conscious to awake. ok. This hasn’t happened again anyway. He is still clean, and still in treatment. But now I have a new one… which is even more weird ! He has had very bad insomnia since he stopped using the coke. His addiction doctor has prescribed him Ambien to take a few times a week to help him get some rest. He suggested he not take it every day. ok. He has taken it a few times and he seemed to sleep better, not perfect -but better. Then the other night we have “cuddly time” which was really nice, and I find out the next morning that he was “asleep”. He has absolutely no recollection of it at all. Awoke telling me what a great nights rest he had, and how he slept all night peacefully. Im torn between thinking it is hilarious, and WTH is going on in our bedroom?! Now not only can I not tell if he is high, I cannot tell if he is awake !

julez

Daisy, I want to tell you a very serious story about ambien and some side effects.

A friends father was prescribed it. After a little while taking it, he started feeling and acting "off"

My friend had been in a very bad breakup. Actually her fiancee broke off the wedding with no warning, and she became severely depressed. Her father was always building her up, and was very worried about her being suicidal, very much a positive person.

One day she came home, and her dads coworkers were at her house, concerned because he hadn't returned to work after lunch and they were worried He was locked in the bathroom, dead from a self inflicted gunshot. He was NOT that guy. It was the tragic side effects from the ambien thatskewed his thinking. Watch him. Close.

Lily1918

well... hmmm that would really hurt my feelings hugs. not sure what advice to give, cuz me and my BF haven't had cuddle time that is anything more than cuddles and kisses since he went to rehab. He isn't sure what the endorphin rush will do to him, it's made him fein like crazy before on a chemical level. It puts the dopamine just above what his new normal is, and when the deed is done when he was fresh clean before rehab. it left him kicking, and me too.
Im glad to have a pants on thing going on right now. I doubt he's getting his rocks off with anyone else. He told me he had a date with Rosy Palm in the bathroom last week and that it totally messed with his head, and his sponsor (whom I have never met thank god I would be mortified cuz they talk about that kind of stuff) went through the same thing.

so I guess what Im trying to say is we fixed our bedroom problems by turning cuddles into just cuddles and kisses into just kisses. Its nice being best friends, and exclusive ones. but we aren't very lusty individuals anyway. He has always made love with the dragon, and neither of us want to risk pregnancy especially knowing that any child I bring into the world has a high risk of a mental disability, which would never stop me, but just not right now.
maybe once I get a fresh IUD and he can handle a date with himself without his mind going all crazy for the endorphin rush then we will again...

jerect

I took ambien for a while , prescribed, when I was losing sleep and going through my divorce.. I started noticing that I was becoming very dependent on it and very quickly.. On one particular day when I was struggling and just wanted to check out and go to sleep, I took two thinking that it would knock me out good and give me some deep rest.. I had the weirdest dreams ever from that stuff and it took me two days to feel awake again after I woke up.. Needless to say the rest of that script went down the toilet and I just used Tylenol PM when I had a hard time falling asleep..

Ambien is highly addictive and does have some very serious side effects.. Makes me wonder why a dr would prescribe it to a drug addict in the first place..

Lily1918

oh jerect you always have the guts to say what Im afraid to

Justfor1

He could be getting high with the Ambian. It is a highly abused drug for addicts. Some folks instead of getting sleepy get a rush or high.

laurie6781

Also there4 have been incidents of folks who take Ambien Sleep Walking.

That is some really nasty stuff.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

dasiydoc

He has had a lot of trouble with so many mood issues since he stopped the cocaine. depression, anxiety, insomnia. His muscles are all knotted up.

The doctor wanted to prescribe him some antidepressant / anxiety medicine but he does not want to take any prescribed long term meds. The doctor did get him to take a prescription of a short acting anxiety med, and he told him he wanted him to take it instead of the coke if he had an incident like what happened with his 'slip. he doesnt want to take them. what he wants is valium for some reason and the doc said it wasnt his best option.

The insomnia was getting so bad he was feeling not as sharp at work, and the doctor did prescribe the Ambien, and told him he only wanted him to take them one pill maybe 3x week at most. He goes to see his addiction doctor twice a week, and the doctor has been dosing them out just for a couple weeks. But he has not taken all of them, and I dont think he is abusing them.

It does say a possible side effect it sleepwalking, or basically doing things when you are asleep - not just walking! Some people I guess have got in their cars and driven off somewhere. I guess in comparison this isnt so bad, but it was very weird when he is telling me how he slept all night so so good, and seriously has no memory of what went on. He asked me if I took advantage of him ! (he was joking).

bluebelle

That Ambien is scary stuff. My br sleep walked and almost drove while on it. (I had to block the door.) I don't think your story is unusual.

Kindeyes

That seems to be a fairly consistent preference for drug addicts.....Valium or Xanax. Benzos are quite addictive and can be very difficult to get off of. Glad the doctor recognized it wasn't a good choice for an addict pursuing recovery.

As for the bedroom activity, I assume that "cuddly time" is a euphemism for sex? That must have been an interesting experience having sex with someone who is asleep. lol. (I'm laughing with you here......glad you're able to have a sense of humor about it!). I can certainly understand your mixed feelings!

Cocaine is a pretty tough drug to get off of.....he's also not feeling as sharp at work because cocaine is great at making a person feel pretty darn focused and energized......along with the insomnia, he's not getting that boost from his DOC.

I know nothing of Ambien other than what anyone can read on the cautions and side effects. I hope that it is able to help him with the insomnia and does not cause any other problems.

gentle hugs
ke

bigbrosKeeper

Definitely don't hold him not remembering against him - Ambien is pretty powerful. When I first started taking it, I use to "Sleep Shop" in the middle of the night, by falling asleep watching TV, then 2 weeks later I'd get all kinds of stuff in the mail I didn't remember ordering... luckily, that stopped. I am a chronic pain patient, so I am also on prescribed narcotics, and was on a much higher dose at that time than I am now - which may have played a part in it, but I have friends who are on nothing else but Ambien who had similar things happen (sleep eating, and even sleep sex).

I still take Ambien, but I don't take the time released kind, and I cut the pills in half when I need them. The half dose works well with getting me to sleep without having sleep shopping episodes.

dasiydoc

Im not angry with him about it. mostly we have had a good laugh, but at the same time it is concerning something dangerous could happen to him. You probably know from your experience, but I cant imagine it feels good to realize you've been doing things in the night and cant remember.

I forgot the funniest part. We were talking and I asked him if maybe he didnt clearly remember, but instead it might have been like he was dreaming it. He said he did remember a dream but it was about an AIRPLANE. So I was asking him if it was like the mile high club, and he said no, all he remembered was something about the outside of the plane, and looking for his seat and he was going somewhere. I dont know if that has some Freudian meaning, or what. An AIRPLANE. Maybe I should take advantage of that sleep shopping thing, gifts could start arriving for me ! That would be too funny.

*Kindeyes, I think he is having a small battle of wills with his addiction doctor right now. I dont know what is going on, but he is complaining about the drive to his office, about the prescriptions, and some other suggestions the doctor has. I dont think he makes the best patient. But I know he will figure it out.

Wing

I wanna tell u sth weird and similar too, if I got what u meant about 'cuddle time'....
Coz my ex did the same several times, he woke me up while we bother were sleeping and had 'cuddle time' and next morning, he asked me 'what happened last nite?' And said that he only woke up in the midst of 'cuddle time' and thought I initiated it.

It happened several times and I was wondering if that's kind of side effect from cocaine

dasiydoc

Dont know for sure. My boyfriend has only recently stopped using, and I was with him for a year while he was on cocaine. I think he has been a fairly low level user because I could hardly tell after he used it. But we never had anything like that happen in the past.

I think I just replied to your thread too.

Kindeyes

That also sounds pretty typical for an addict.....that's a good healthy attitude on your part.

The airplane thing is pretty funny.....mile high club sounded like a viable dream theory....but nope. Just taking a little trip to somewhere.......wondering if you were even on the plane? There's lots of humor to be had in recovery......thanks for sharing.

gentle hugs
ke

dasiydoc

I love dreams, and think they are fun to try to decipher. In this case there wasnt much there. He said all he remembers of the dream was at one point being outside and looking at the plane. Then magically transported into the plane, no pilot, flight attendants, no luggage, no other passengers getting on. He was standing in the aisle deciding which seat he wanted. They all looked alike, and there were only a few other people on the plane, all seated already, and no one paying any attention to him. He remembered looking out the window of the plane - and that is it.

I think he was just taking a little trip. He had actually been on a trip for work the week before to a conference, and maybe it was from that.

I am so glad I wrote this post. I decided to play a trick on him last night based on the lovely post about sleep-shopping. Courtesy of me, he went shopping last night and bought two things I know he has been wanting, and two things that are going to make him say, what the he!! did I buy this for.
I had part of them express shipped, and others regular shipping, so they will arrive in stages. I feel like Im waiting for Santa to come. I cant wait until he tells me, look what came, I dont remember ordering this. Its cruel or funny depending. But he will think it is very funny once he figures it out.

jerect

Daisydoc with all due respect that is manipulation and control on your part.. When are you going to take the focus off of him and put it solely on yourself.. He's either going to stay clean or relapse and both are beyond your control.. I know you love him and I know you want to help him in any way shape or form, but the truth is you are not going to love him clean and helping him is only hurting him..

How would you feel if he tried to gaslight you like you like you just did to him? Addict or not that's just disrespectful.. Please get help for yourself..

Lily1918

If we could love them sober then we wouldn't be here. we've all tried that. It didn't work

YearForMe

This thread actually breaks my heart.

My husband started on Ambien about 5-6 years ago and I truly believe it led him to his DOC of Vicodin.

It changed who he was....and not for the better.
It made him kind of groggy and confused. Not someone you could sit and talk to.

Looking back....Ambien was the beginning...of the end....of our marriage.

Even tho I don't like him right now....because he is in denial and therefore doesn't believe he needs treatment....

I would still never order things on tv and have them shipped. Addicts already have a false illusion of reality as it is.

Don't get me wrong...there have been alot of things I have laughed at the "idea" of doing....I can "think" sick and twisted....but I can't and won't enact "sick and twisted".
My character and codependent recovery does not allow for that.

AnvilheadII

Courtesy of me, he went shopping last night and bought two things I know he has been wanting, and two things that are going to make him say, what the he!! did I buy this for.
I had part of them express shipped, and others regular shipping, so they will arrive in stages. I feel like Im waiting for Santa to come. I cant wait until he tells me, look what came, I dont remember ordering this. Its cruel or funny depending. But he will think it is very funny once he figures it out.

say what? knowing he's suffering side effects from the sleep meds, you decided to make it a game?? to make him think he did stuff during his sleep that he doesn't remember? that's just twisted........and cruel. this isn't a game.......well maybe for you it is.