tonya4037

I'm so tired, i'm weak and mad at myself for letting this man continue bringing down this family. He won't stop doing drugs even if it means going back to prison or is it just he can't stop? There goes the weakness. I love him and hes good with the kids and can do just about anything but hes throwing it all away. He was 22 on drugs when we met. I was 20 but I thought that if we have a baby he would stop and we could have a happy life together but was I ever wrong, hes now in his late 40's, been in jail and prison so many times i've lost count, stealing out the house until I stopped buying things that he could carry like no laptops, dvd players unless it was built in the tv and the kids had to hide there ipods and games and its so bad that I won't allow him to take the kids out alone because he steals. I try to put him out but he won't go, he'll cry and tell me that he can't make it without us and I just fall for it. I would beg him to get help, stop the drugs and don't go back to prison leaving us alone and just always being there for him but as i've gotten much older I don't hurt for him anymore. I need help to become strong and let him go. I'm alone and need someone to help me because i'm tired and i'm sad.

julez

Tonya, it sounds like you need to create some boundaries. I hope in reading other posts you can come up with a plan that can work for you.

You shouldn't have to live this way.

AnvilheadII

take a deep breath, think about what is BEST for your KIDS....and then do that.

he's had 20 years to become the man you wanted him to be. instead THIS is what you get.
you can stop trying to help or fix him now.
you can instead focus on what is in YOUR best interest, what will make YOU thrive and grow and what will provide your children with the best chance at a happy healthy life.

zoso77

Welcome to the Board. I'm sorry for what brought you here, but I'm happy that you've found us.

AnvilHead's response to your post touches on the important points. What I'd like to talk about is choices and the consequences for those choices.

For 20 years, you've been making decisions based on the fact that you love him, and he's good with the kids. And those choices have led you to us. What I want to remind you of is it's not too late to start making better choices. Choices that are based on what's best for you and for your children, not on love.

I'm not saying any of this is easy, because it's not. But since we're talking about choices, let's talk about his. He has chosen to continue using drugs for 20 years. He has chosen to steal. He has chosen to lie. His choices have led him to prison. And yet he continues on the same path. So based on this track record, what do you think is in the best interests of you and your children?

Exactly.

I strongly encourage you to find an attend a local Nar Anon/Al Anon meeting. Right now, you need support locally and as close as the phone. There is a better path for you out there. The question is are you ready to take it?

Best,
ZoSo