Momzo

I just posted a week or so ago about how good I felt after three months of breaking it off w my exabf...well..why do I feel so sad now? I started thinking about all the good times we had. I started thinking of how mad I am at him for not trying. I feel like I'm going backwards now. I haven't cried in so long and I'm crying now. Is this part of the grieving process?

I feel so confused i don't understand how I can go from happy to sad like that.

Has anyone experienced this and came through ok?

Thanks

Jennie

EverHopeful721

I can't say for sure - it's only been two and a half weeks since my addict dumped me by text. And I'm the opposite - I can't STOP crying. Just when I think I have no more tears left to cry....BAM, waterworks!! But I think it's perfectly normal for you to be crying now. We all process things at different paces and in different ways, and I think the stages of grief can hit in any order or not at all, just depends on the person. Just hang in there, Momzo!! Three months is a MAJOR accomplishment and you're doing GREAT!! Keep reading and posting!! ((hugs))

zoso77

It's part of being human, Jennie.

None of us are all good or all bad. We're a combination of both. Your AXBF isn't necessarily a bad guy. He's a sick guy, and you made a decision to protect yourself by distancing yourself from him. That was a tough call to make, because you (obviously) still care about him. So, yes, you're mourning his loss, and this will happen from time to time. There's nothing wrong with it. You just have to sit with it as best you can and keep doing what you're doing, which is pushing forward.

For what it's worth, there are people that I still mourn the loss of, too. Some are dead, some are very, very much alive, and in the case of the latter, I simply sit with it. I acknowledge it, feel it, and keep going.

You'll be OK. Trust me.

ZoSo

SicknTired8

I know that this is a late post but I just recently had a class about grieving. My teacher said something that really stuck with me. None of us love the same, and none of us grieve the same. Grieving also doesn't work in order of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. It is possible to never feel all 5, it is also possible to go back and forth. For example, some people may never feel the Anger, some may start off with depression then be angry, then be depressed again. Everybody grieves in their own way and it's completely normal to feel the way you do.
Anyways, I thought this would help a bit. Keep your head up Momzo, you can do this.

broken101

Momzo,

Its been 5 months for me since my exbf broke up with me and I have great days and then days when I think of the guy I fell in love with the what, could, would have been should have been and I cry and cry and cry.....then I pull myself out of that whole wash my face and see the world for what it really is.....beautigul, clam, drama free, worry free, walking on the gorund with nothing under me waiting to be pulled under from under me....and I realize what I have known deep in my thinck scull I am better off without him....

Momzo

horriblethisis

Momzo - You are going through the emotions you should be going through. It's normal to feel one way this week, and different next week. Heck, it's normal to feel one way today, and differently tomorrow. It is so hard - I get it. I am sorry for your emotional stress right now, but I think as time goes on, it does get better. I have been apart from my AH for 5 months now, and I have to at times, keep reminding myself, that I am doing the right thing...deep down, I know that I am. I am looking forward to a more positive future and more importantly, I will be happy one day when I am in a healthy non-addictive relationship. But for now, it's all about ME, MYSELF, and I !!! Hugs to you.

TabulaRasa81

Feeling the same way....right now thinking about the possibility of my ah meeting someone soon(cuz he's a man) and doing all the things he could never do with me...with a new one.. That's a trip, right?! The what if's are what kill me...